I gonna explain the the joke in the picture.
The German joke is “Treffen sich zwei Jäger, beide Tot.”
THW important word is “treffen”. It can mean “meet” and “hit”(with a weapon). depending on the context
Two Bulgarians are driving through the countryside when they are pulled over by an officer. “Sorry to bother you”, says the officer, “but I’m looking for two child molesters.”
The Bulgarians look at each other for a moment, turn to the officer, and with a solemn nod say
“We’ll do it.”
One translated from Norwegian:
“Once upon a time… But now it’s a corridor”
I’ll supply the original and an explanation:
“Det var en gang… Men nå er det en korridor”
“Det var en gang” is literally “It was a time/an instance”, and it’s the main way every fairytale starts in Norwegian. But “gang” could also mean hallway.
It’s a bit like the shortest joke: A woman comes at the doctor…
Or in German: Kommt 'ne Frau beim Arzt…
This one works well in German and English, but I assume it’s untranslatable in many other languages.
Funnybot, is that you?
AWWKKWAAARD.
One of my favorite Filipino jokes:
Why didn’t the priest go swimming in the ocean? Because it’s salt water.
“Salt water” in Tagalog can be translated as “tubig asin,” which sounds like the English “too big a sin.” Many Filipino jokes rely on Tagalog and English like that.
Here’s another (putting original Tagalog because it’s kind of relevant):
May joke ako tungkol sa airport kaso NAIA ako eh hehe.
English:
I have a joke about the airport, but I am NAIA (Ninoy Aquino International Airport) hehe.
NAIA sounds like “nahiya,” which means “shy,” so it would sort of translate to “… but I was shy.”
I used to work with a couple Czech dudes. One day my coworkers and I were badgering the one dude to tell us a Czech joke. He was pretty reluctant because he said he could only really think of one joke but wasn’t sure it would translate well. When he finally told us the joke he got us with this masterpiece.
Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other and hey look a cactus.
All of us were confused by this, he told us it was much funnier in Czech because balloon and cactus sound similar so it’s a pun. So we had him tell us the joke untranslated in Czech and balloon and cactus sound nothing alike.
I’m still not sure if this dude was fucking with us.
It’s a silly joke for little kids of preschool age and it only makes sense if you include the right sound effects. It’s supposed to go like this: Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other: - Hey look a cactussssssssssss! - Where isssssssssss it?
What’s the Czech word that’s being use for the “issss?” Since “cactus” ends with an “s” sound in both English and Czech, the joke might translate directly.
I’m Czech. The Czech version of the joke is indeed no funnier than the English translation (unless you count the bit of variety in the degassing sounds) and it’s a preschool classic. Here is the most common version (they’re all basically the same anyway) and a literal translation:
Letí dva balónky po poušti. Jeden říká: „Pozor, kaktusssss!“ — „Kde ho vidíšššššš?“
Two balloons are flying across a desert. One says: “Watch out, a cactusssss!” — “Where do you see it? shhhhh…”
I think your colleagues had a very dark or offensive joke, as these are common in Czechia. Not wanting to get into trouble, they quickly replied with the first one that came into their mind and then made up excuses for laughing so hard.
One that works in English:
A superconductor came to a bar and ordered a beer. The barman said - I’m not giving you a beer! Get the fuck out of my bar! The superconductor left without any resistance.
An argon atom walks into a bar. The barman says: “We don’t serve your kind here. get out”. The argon atom doesn’t react.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks: “How much for a beer?” The barman says: “For you, no charge”.
Oh hey the German version of this joke is also one that doesn’t translate! “A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says: Sorry, only invited guests.” In German, “geladen” means both “invited” and “charged”.
the fact that you don’t know if he’s fucking around makes it even funnier lmao
The pot is lauging because the boiler is black.
Québécois and a French learning Ontarian having a chat. The Ontarians goes - o look a fly, Québécois corrects him- A fly. O - wow you have good eyesight. Wregarde, un mouche- -Non, une mouche
For anyone who doesn’t get it: The joke relies on understanding how Latin languages gender words (Un v. Une, Masculine/Feminine form).So it literally doesn’t work in English. It’s also a common translation error non native speakers have because you only know the “gender” of a word by… Knowing if it’s masculine or feminine through experience.
Best way to carry the joke is:
“Oh look, a/un(male) fly.”
“No, it’s a/une(feminine) fly.”
“Wow, you have good eyes/Wow, you can see it’s genitals from here?”
Certainly clunky but hilarious if you speak French.
Translated Hungarian joke:
The Székely and his son go into the forest to cut trees. When cutting a tree, the son says:
“Goodbye, my beloved father.”
“Why are you saying a farewell to me?”, asks the Székely.
“Because the tree is falling on you.”
What’s the joke? Are there slow falling trees in Hungary?
This reply made me laugh more than that joke ever did.
Oh I can do German-style comedy too, but as an American.
A Democrat and a Republican walk into a bar. They fight and both die in the hospital. Their families have to each pay $80,000 for medical expenses, then both families sue the bar. The bar closes, the owner divorces, spirals into alcoholism, and commits suicide. Then the funeral director buys a new house.
A European man at his favorite vacation/holiday destination on the Mediterranean goes into a bar and says, “One pint of beer.” The bartender brings him the pint, and the man pays him the price of the beer without leaving a tip. The man drinks the beer. He falls into alcoholism again. When he returns home, he discusses with his doctor options for treating alcoholism. The man is sent to a rehabilitation facility for a few months and recovers. When he returns home, he still has his job. lmaooooo Europe is so much better than USA 🤣🤣🤣
Only one issue. Beer is not sold by pints in the Mediterranean.
Fine. A Celsius or kilometer of beer then.
1km³ would be sick
I’m pretty sure that’s just how Barcelona operates.
Fuck it. I’m down. Sounds like fun. Can’t wait to aggravate Germans with my immature German bullshit. Achhh duven shneider volkwagens nien schaft vida zein!! Get your train pass and speedo ready. I’ll bring over some BBQ, debt, and assault rifles. Let’s do it 🏖🚈
You only need Speedos if you’re going to France. They have a weird thing about Speedos
You said comedy, not children stories!
An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. “We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!”
Next call to the radio show is a newfie: “Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by’s be havin’ any jobs bildin tha’ wall or wha’?”
(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)
The farmer and the farmhand are out in the field working. Suddenly the sky closes in and it looks like rain. The farmhand says to the farmer: “If we don’t hurry now, we’ll get soaked here.” The farmer says to the farmhand: “Then go into the house and get my wellies!” The farmhand says: “Why me? Why don’t you get your wellies yourself?” The farmer looks at the farmhand angrily and asks: “Who’s the farmer? Who’s the Farmhand?”
The farmhand goes into the house in a rage. The farmer’s wife and her pretty daughter are sitting at the kitchen table. The farmhand says to the two of them: “The farmer said you two should get naked so I can fuck you.” The two women look at each other. The farmer’s wife is surprised: “No, I don’t believe that. The farmer would never say something like that, would he?” “Yes, he would,” says the farmhand. “But I can ask again just in case.” He goes to the kitchen window and opens it. The farmer’s wife has followed him and is standing next to it. The farmhand shouts out into the field: “Farmer, both of them?” The farmer looks at the window and shouts back: “Both of course, you idiot!”
«done is done said the moose and walked over the river and became a reindeer.»
in norwegian done rhymes with deer, and reindeer rhymes with clean.
This is a kids pun joke that got lost in translation. Treffen can mean either to meet or to hit (like with a bullet).
Want a funny German joke? Why don’t ants go to church? Because they’re insects!
It’s neat that the ant joke’s pun translates into English, good pick.
As an immigrant in Germany, that’s the reason people think Germans aren’t funny. A lot of the humor is pun-based (and sometimes there are many, many more layers, making them actually very good jokes), which just doesn’t translate well.
