i could be doing things that actually benefit the revolution i fear

i’m starting to worry that these foul midterms will ruin any “potential” this wasteland of the westoid populace has for revolution which i feel sounds callous but it is true

only had them for one session so far so idk how to trust

i forgot to mention but imperialism is exactly why i CAN’T talk to a therapist about this in particular, sure they help with other things but as soon as they find out i’m anticapitalist they’ll report me for “looney left terrorism”

besides they’d also take me away if i ever talked about what i want to do to enemies of the movement for “extreme violent thoughts” yknow?

the fact they all keep failing only makes me feel that something more drastic needs to be done soon and makes me angrier

i say we steam them alive to maximize their pain at this rate

oh i just waited till the water boiled, then put in the rice and some butter and let it cook on low for about 20-30 minutes

it’s about 2.25 cups of water and 1 tbsp of butter per 1 cup of rice

it’s a mix of heavy cream, minced garlic, garlic-parmesan-herb seasoning, and chicken stock

at work rn but i’ll drop the recipe when i can

trying to finish my dumbass costume before halloween between work days, just have to sew it which i’ve never done before

i mean like it’s a form of discipline for myself only, i know love works for others but if i get too accepting of myself then i lose sight of what i must fix on myself if that makes sense

it’s a form of discipline only i use, it’s not good for others

as for great love i identify more with the whole “communism is the hammer which crushes the enemy” thing mao said than castro’s idea of great love, i feel the latter can be used once global revolution has occurred but focusing on the danger of the omnipresent enemy is priority imo

it makes me forget my role in harming the global south, and fuels my need to destroy enemies of the movement if that makes sense

the problem is i loathe the idea of self-love for myself, it’s fundamentally dangerous for me given the circumstances but i appreciate your concern

should i starve? i mean my gut says maybe, but my brain says to at least try an imperialist-only diet first /lh

like why wouldn’t global southerners condemn all of the global north after all we’ve done and continue to do, it’s only logical to me cause i’d do that if i were in their shoes

but why wouldn’t they is what i don’t understand

you can argue yes to those questions given they both still relied on goods obtained via imperialism though, like yes the impact they had on the movement is huge but foe example, a simple meal still was obtained by the suffering of the global south if that makes sense which is what i think about every time i consume sustenance

the average russian worker wasn’t an imperialist parasite whose food, goods, existence, etc. innately involved the exploitation of the global south and therefore provided a net negative to the movement though