I need advice because I’m scared lol.
In my experience you dont *get over* the fear—you only work up the courage to do it anyway.
I’ll give the same advice I give on everything:
“In 6 months, will taking this action still have a major effect on your life?”
So, in 6 months, will a “no” change your life in a meaningful way from what it is today? If the answer is no, let that sink in.
Once you can logically define what’s “impactful”, it makes it a whole lot easier to do those things that seem scary in the moment. And once you do those things aleven a few times, they get easier and easier.
Alcohol.
I married her.
I was friends with her and I trusted that she would handle it well if she wasn’t interested. And turns out she indeed wasn’t interested, but we did talk about it and decided to just stay friends. It was a little awkward as my feelings for her still lingered a bit, but eventually that passed and I’m now with a wonderful girl who I think is a much better match for me.
We’re still friends to this day.
I changed schools. Now, even if I wanted to approach her, I can’t!
Kidding aside, I asked myself “if I am so anxious even approaching her, how can I even be in a relationship with her?” and basically forced myself to decide whether to: “yeah, this is a crush that I won’t be doing anything about it, better to not let it linger and move on” or “I must do something about the anxiety.”
If my feelings is not intense enough for the second option, the feelings will die soon enough, and will not make me regret that much.
In reality, I tend to think “no, they’re more than likely not into me (due to various reasons)”, and I’ll just let the feelings be until they decay. Did it lead to regrets? Not really. The few times I’ve actually asked and approached someone I had a crush on, they were flattered, but ultimately told me they’re not into me. The more it happened, the more I felt justified in my way of thinking.
If it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know and you can move on. If you don’t do it, you’ll regret it forever.
It takes work but try to stop giving a fuck what anyone thinks of you. Once I did that my life got so much better. Not to be confused with not caring about others just don’t worry what they think of you. That’s their cross to carry.
How did you do that?
Aging helps. I’m not sure how or why, but these days, I couldnl’t care less about what strangers think of me.
For me it had the opposite effect, sadly. I was pretty confident in myself two years ago, but then I got covid a second time and since then I’m not quite the same. I get nervous all the time and feel stressed easily, which in turn makes me feel sick and sweaty, which makes me nervous again. It’s gotten better through therapy, CBD oil and supplements for the brain, but I’m still not back to my old self and might never be
Honestly? Ate enough mushrooms to annihilate my ego and realized my self worth. I don’t recommend that technique but it worked for me.
How much grams were needed for that?
About 7 for myself although I’ve actually eaten 15 and not had the same experience. Depends on the strength which is hit or miss
Alright, time to order a grow box again!
There will be more crushes.
Just fucking do it - it either works out or it doesn’t but if it doesn’t work out it’s no loss to you because it was never going to work out.
Well, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistence and I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existence.
From a distance I desired her, secretly admired her wired her a letter to get her, and it went “My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me, but I know you very well, now let me tell you 'bout the feelings I have for you when I try, or make some sort of attempt, I simp - damn, I wish I wasn’t such a wimp - cos then I would let you know that I love you so and if I was your man, then I would be true, and the only lying I would do is in the bed with you.”
Then I signed “Sincerely, the one who loves you dearly, P.S. Love Me Tender.”
I just told them one day that I’m taking them out for sushi and paying, and that it’s not a date. We were friends for a couple years before, so they were like “hell yeah free sushi!”
They turned it into a date…. Slyly bringing art book they drew in, and knowing I’d be like OOO WHAT’S THAT on the way home. I sat down for a good half hour and was marveling at their cute artistic talent.
We’ve been together for almost 13 years.
Damn that’s cute
I do not, for a second, take it all for granted >w<
By working on my self-esteem. A lot of the fear is tying your worth on the outcome of approaching your crush.
If you decouple your self-worth on whether your crush reciprocates or not, then you can come as close as you like.
I did it the first time by just setting a date that I was going to tell her I liked her and sticking to that
Unfortunately turned out she had a boyfriend so that sucked
I think about what’ll happen if they reciprocate - I’ll be happy! They’ll be happy!
I’ve said it to four or five people. Each time it went well - we dated and had a good time.
I cheat: I only ask people out if we’ve been friends for a bit. That way I can gauge if we’re a decent match.
