The screwed one

Tri-color Rotini, since my color would be the first thing people noticed around all the other pasta.

Shells. Because I’m less likely to get eaten.

Seriously though. Fuck shell pasta where they all stick together

Linguine. You’re expecting some strong, has-it-together fettuccine, but instead I’m a plateful that can barely hold it together and is trying to play pretend at being one of the better pastas.

Fusilli, because I’m screwed

I will block out the sun with my lasagne body! All will fear me! All will obey me!

I would be mushroom bowtie farfalle (which I enjoy often) because I’m always just out of reach, even to myself.

Mafaldine because I look cute with little ruffles and there’s nothing remotely straight about me

I’d love to say campanelle, because I’m fun and stuff.

I’m a gnocchi, because I’m potato.

Orichiette. Cause they’re like little bowls of sauce on their own. Each one of them a tiny flavour universe.

Copypasta, nothing more I want to be than a long overused block of text that clogs up threads all over the net.

I am also partial to shell pasta.

Spaghetti, because Im lanky, and annoying to handle when Im cooked

I’d want to be a spaghetti but I’d probably be a penne.

An impasta because I’m a human bean.

A lasagna newdle https://youtu.be/UoRXQDPkDcs?feature=shared