Places like gay bars and cafes were made with the explicit purpose of creating a safe space for LGBTQ+ folk. We HAD to create safe spaces because so many straight people want to inflict harm on us or wish that we were exterminated. Being around you means we cannot be ourselves fully because we will always hesitate. We will always wonder “Are you one of the good ones?” We spend our lives tiptoeing around straight people wondering if we can be ourselves or if we have to hide it to protect us from the psychotic amount of negativity and hatred that we have to deal with for merely existing.

I don’t care if you’re one of the good ones or not. By simply being there you are changing the entire makeup of an LGBTQ+ space. You are adding in fear, apprehension and confusion into a place that was never supposed to have it. Moreover, you’re treating us like a novelty. Like we made this place for you to feel safe in. You are ignoring us and forcing us out of our own spaces. There are multiple “gay bars” that I have been to that no longer have predominately gay clientele and have started leaning towards advertising for straight people. Why? Because so many people showed up to “feel safe” that it pushed every single one of us out.

It isn’t for you. You do not belong there. Stop feeling and acting so entitled to a place that has nothing to do with you and that was made with the explicit purpose to be free from you. Give us back our spaces that we made for us and stop whining when we dare to say that.

Your feelings are not more important than our identity, safety and peace of mind.

  • voracitude@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    5 months ago

    We couldn’t be ourselves anymore. We couldn’t hit on someone randomly in the bar because they might be straight. Suddenly the entire atmosphere drastically shifted from a relaxed vibe for us to a minefield.

    The only reason I can think of that you would want assurance someone is gay when you hit on them is that you might believe you could reasonably expect violence from hitting on a straight person. Did I assume that’s why, since it’s the only reason I could think of and you have already called out violence as one of the underpinning reasons you hold this opinion? Yes, I did.

    I’m sorry you can’t hear how you sound. Therapy will help, if you find the right therapist. Good luck.