• Candelestine@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Liberal, as in, believing in liberty. Freedom. How many mens spaces do you know of, where a man is completely free to open up, with full liberty and freedom from immediate consequences, about feelings they may have inside of them?

      There’s actually not a lot. It’s a reflection of masculine indoctrination, where men in many places are made to feel like they almost need to be ready to become a soldier at any moment. Guarded, careful. It’s no good, unless your country is actually at war.

      • Neato@ttrpg.network
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        11 months ago

        That has nothing to do with spaces. It’s toxic masculinity. And you combat that by being the change you want to see.

        Even if there was a space like that, toxic masculinity would ruin it if it wasn’t addressed. But you might just be looking for group therapy.

        • Candelestine@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          So, spaces that encourage toxic masculinity do exist, and they are fully aware of their ruination. See: 4chan.org.

          edit: I see some of the confusion here, since 4chan is seemingly liberal, due to having no formal rules. However, that is an illusion. A man is not actually free to say anything they like without consequences there. It’s just that the norms will be enforced by the community, instead of any kind of authority. This is not actual liberty and freedom, simply indoctrination cloaked in an illusion of freedom.

          Real freedom would allow a man to express something like sympathy, or being against gamergate, and express that opinion in peace. The reality of such spaces does not actually permit this.

          It seems liberal and free, but in effect it is not. This is similar to how Trump seems to be strong sometimes, but in reality is weak and cowardly. Toxic masculinity loves its illusions.

      • Wanderer@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        The only places I have been close to that are “toxic” male places. All boys clubs, drinking clubs, rugby clubs.

        But women see them as toxic and label then like that. But if you talk to them you get more toxic than from these clubs they aren’t a part of that tell you how horrible they are.

        • Candelestine@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          So, I’m not a woman, nor am I overly feminine, and I still call out toxic bullshit when I see it. If you want to say the problem is women/feminists though, fine whatever, if we cleaned up our own shit first, we might be able to make that stick. But when we’re bastards and they’re bitches, and we complain, we’re kinda the fucked up ones, y’know? Since we were supposed to be strong in the first place.

          Unless you just think life is shit and everyone should get used to it. Then, just move to Russia or something, for everyone’s sake.

        • Candelestine@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Sure. Go over into 4chan and try any behavior they would describe as “white knighting” or “simping”. You will rapidly experience some social consequences intended to dissuade that behavior.

          • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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            11 months ago

            Experiencing social consequences for saying something people disagree with is not infringing on your freedom. Unless they band together and try to go further than simply not liking what you have to say, how is that stopping men from saying their opinion on 4chan?

            Independently, I wouldn’t call 4chan a liberal place. As far as I know, 4chan started and participated in activities in the past that go far beyond simply not liking an opinion. They doxxed, harassed and threatened people, among other things. And with support from many people on that platform.

            • Candelestine@lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              Liberal in the traditional sense, as in, believing in liberty, I’m being technical. Not meaning “leftist” the way the word has been rebranded by right-leaners. So, their adoption of “no rules” is ultra-liberal, or libertarian perhaps.

              And all social consequences are social. Drawing a distinction between legal and social is arbitrary. Suffering is suffering, and employing it to control dissenting voices is fundamentally illiberal. If you can prevent certain messages from appearing on your platform, you have successfully executed a form of control.

              Thus, their ultra-liberty is an illusion. It’s not real.

    • MataVatnik@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Liberal narratives paint men as aggressive rapists at worst, and toxic manipulative sociopath at best. Liberal narratives onstantly evoke “tHe pATriArcHy” and “tOxic mAsCuLinity” hiding misandry behind pseudointellectualism

      • kitb@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        While those are some examples of “liberal narratives”, there’s also a very real “men are harmed by the patriarchy too” narrative.

        I see the problem you see and I agree with you about it, it’s just the narratives you’ve described aren’t the only liberal narratives.

        • MataVatnik@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          That whole men are hurt by the patriarcy too is a cop-out when people get called out on their bullshit ideology

      • Ashyr@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        Brosif, calling a discussion of the patriarchy misandry makes it clear you don’t know what the patriarchy even is. It hurts everyone.

        • MataVatnik@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          This is the pseudointellectualism I’m talking about. “You don’t actually understand what it ACTUALLY means” while the meanings are clearly obfuscated for the layperson.

        • hakase@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          Brosef, the term “patriarchy” itself is (and has always been) intentionally misleading and inherently misandrist, and has played a huge role in the modern demonization of men as a result. The “academic definition” of the term is irrelevant, as the (fully intended) real world negative consequences of the term for men in the cultural zeitgeist have been systemic and pervasive, as we can see all over this thread.

      • Dasnap@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        ‘Toxic masculinity’ is referring specifically to masculinity that is toxic. It’s not referring to masculinity as a whole as toxic.

        • MataVatnik@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Pushes in glasses “uuum ackshually that’s not what it means”

          Yeah no shit, tell that to the people on social media where the majority of popular discord takes place. And pretending that the meaning of the two isn’t obfuscated is disingenuous. At the end of the day it’s all antipositivists theory garbage that reads more like a political treatise than academic study.

          • hakase@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            Exactly. Feminist terminology like “toxic masculinity” and “patriarchy” has been very carefully chosen to be misandrist enough to result in the intended widespread popular demonization of men that we’ve seen over the past few decades, while also giving feminists enough deniability to gaslight with “that’s not what the terms ackchually mean though”.

            The misandry is a feature, not a bug.