What the fuck? Oh hell yes!
There are two types of dnd players.
Those who want to live the fantasy of being able to afford rent.
And those who want to fuck monsters.
I propose a third type, who just want to paint the world red.
It’s just a different duality those that want to pain the world red and those that want to paint it white.
Why are people always so dualistic in their categorizations?! What if I want to be able to afford rent and fuck monsters?!
If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.
She’s like 7 years old and roughly that size too.
@[email protected] deal with this guy
The average goblin is about 3 to 3.5ft. And you can’t really tell a goblins age by looking at them. Admittedly, they reach adulthood at ~8 years old, but they live to 60.
You’re reaching, and it’s kinda creepy.
“It just looks like a kid”
Yeah a bit too much for me lol
It’s a joke my friend. The FBI don’t actually have a lemmy server
If a
cute goblinwoman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.FTFY
I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.
Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.
Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.
Anatomically incompatible, probably.
you’re aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.
Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.
Anatomically incompatible meaning… Well… You ever tried to put a sausage inside a garden hose?
Making a lot of assumptions and claims about a literal fantasy creature.
Sure, but I’m probably right, based off franchise lore.
I can fix her
Bro, the genre’s called fantasy for a reason.
Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be…
Why is your dream a tiny filthy goblin? You can do better.
Like a big filthy goblin?
I am a big filthy goblin pretty much. A hobgoblin, if you will.
knobgobblin’
She doesn’t love you, you’re the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs
Beggars can’t be choosers.
Not true! She ate a monkey yesterday. …and she grabbed it before she ate it.
I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible
Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance
Cyanide! Don’t stick your dick in crazy!
I see your point, but what if she’s really hot?
But don’t stick your dick in crazy!
It’s worth it
He’s hopeless, he’s lost.
How did I just stumble upon a wild Soviet Womble reference? Bwahaha
I saw an opportunity and I took it!
I am so sick of these unrealistic body standards.
Wasn’t there a Goblin Waifu game that was alright?
“Your a cute short-queen, sure. Been wondering what it would be like to have a squeaker toy, let’s go take a bath together to celebrate.”
“😍”
Edit: I am unsurpised and mildly disappointed that some folks have such narrow minds combined with a lack of humor. Truly a pity.
Source?
Google says it’s “TateOfTot” on twitter.
