Just gonna link this, for the oblivious among us: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/instead-of-going-to-therapy
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It is what it is
Is this a reference from another post today?
I’d take that post over the bear.
YOLO
But is it what it is?
It’s.
It could be
i think, in fact, it might be!
That it may
perhaps it is not what it is, but perhaps that is, what it was, because it was never specific about what is, and the time of was.
Time will tell. Sooner or later, time will tell.
Once upon a time there was a Little Engine that Could, that said “I think I can, I think I can!” Now it just says “It is what it is, it is what it is…”
And when another train complained, they sealed him in a tunnel, Cask of Amontillado style.
Sounds like a form of therapy in and of itself.
That was my thought.
Men got themselves a hobby they enjoy, and gets to share with others. Two amazing things for someones overall mental health. Sounds like someone living the dream.
And probably cheaper.
steam equipment is definitely not cheaper than therapy, you get a cracked cylinder? Better hope you have literal tons of iron/steel sitting around, and or something/someone to pay for it, as well as someone to machine it, because none of that exists anymore.
I can guarantee it’s not cheaper
Yeah, restorations aren’t cheap, and the bigger the parts get, the more expensive they get. And it’s not like you can hit up ye olde fireboxes-r-us anymore.
Depends on if you’re in America, or a real first world country.
One won’t be cheaper, the other has a high likelihood of being cheaper.
I am an American, and I pay zero dollars for my and my kid’s therapy. But it’s okay, you just wanted the low-hanging fruit by taking a shot at America.
Am American. The fruit is low hanging for a fucking reason.
Also depends on your insurance. I pay $25 per visit, and even over a year when I went every week, I doubt it was more expensive than restoring a train lol.
And how much do you pay just to have that insurance? How much lower is your paycheck because your company provides insurance?
Yeah, I was gonna say that these men DID go to therapy.
Yeah, most people today meed therapy because they feel isolated from their work, unappreciated, and are stressed about finances. A hobby where you work towards a common goal with no real world consequences is what most people need in their life right now. ~~~~
Sharing your enjoyment with others. Work you can take pride in. Preserving history. Sounds pretty great for mental health.
Hang on I’m going to need some help here I appear to have got myself into a logical loop.
I’m not depressed so I can’t play with trains but now I’m sad that I can’t play with trains. So I can play with trains? But now I’m not depressed anymore. So I guess I have to stop? Which makes me sad.
It’s a meme, guys.
Having a hobby and being part of a community is a very constructive, helpful, and effective way of beating back the isolation and despair that is killing so many young people.
Who says instead? Seems like people with their heads on right
As a mental health worker, if a client got involved with something like this, I’d be thrilled. This sounds like it provides purpose and community to all involved. Good for them!
Yeah if half my patients just went out and found constructive hobbies that they can do with other people I would actually be really hyped. I especially like seeing young men stop fixating on women and just go develop things about themselves that are likeable and interesting to other people in general.
The craziest part is that I’d actually kind of prefer that they do this in most cases. Half the time this will be like 75% of what the therapist will tell them to do anyway and the other 25% is stuff like “stop getting most of your hydration from diet coke” and “yeah your dad was just kind of an asshole boomer; that happens a lot actually.”
And I’ll probably get shit for it again (but maybe I’ll explain it better this time?) but it’s actually really concerning how many people are leaning on therapy right now. I’m not saying it’s their fault, but saying more people need to go to therapy isn’t actually going to fix the issue. It would be like if were constantly maiming and injuring people and saying the problem was not enough people going to physical therapy. Therapists absolutely need to be a thing, but most people wouldn’t be having these problems in the first place if we hadn’t commoditized human interaction and largely eliminated publically / benefactor hosted social spaces.
And by commoditized I mean we’ve created this culture where we have all these rules for who gets to be mad or sad in each interaction and who is supposed to support who, often with the exchange of money involved. And I’m actually mostly talking about the service industry even more than I am about the mental health one, it’s just that their bullshit is seeping over to us and making the mental health (and general healthcare) industry a toxic sludgepile too. The only therapist I could get to call me back is part of a large online franchise that basically pimps them out like onlyfans models except my insurance pays and there’s no flirting or tiddy pics. I haven’t had the heart to pry into how much they’re actually making but I doubt it’s a lot.
TLDR: I don’t like modern “just go to therapy” culture because I think it’s completely missing the point. Even if we were properly staffed, the healthcare industry can’t conceivably fix the rest of society on it’s own. Also just fix housing already ffs. It will literally just put a cap on the mental health crisis. Like if we just took blackrock’s real estate and put homeless people in it the mental health crisis would just be like 80% solved. I’m not even kidding.
It would be like if were constantly maiming and injuring people and saying the problem was not enough people going to physical therapy.
In that I kind of agree with you. Many problems can be traced back to societal issues. Hell is other people. That’s why we need to do better.
Sending those, damaged by society, to therapy is necessary, but we wouldn’t be there if several root causes wouldn’t exist.Like if we just took blackrock’s real estate and put homeless people in it the mental health crisis would just be like 80% solved. I’m not even kidding.
Oversimplification, imo. But this is surely a contributing factor.
I actually agree with you in many aspects. Something new that is being taught in therapy training is that we have to be aware of systemic issues that are contributing to someone’s mental health.
Example: someone is suicidal and feeling hopeless. Do they have clinical major depressive disorder? Maybe, but if we ask “how are your finances doing?” And they say they work full time at Walmart and get paid $10 per hour and have 3 kids… Yeah it makes sense why they feel helpless and suicidal.
For this reason, therapists and mental health workers have a duty to advocate for progressive social policies.
In one of my psych courses the professor noted a study (not sure of the source, this was closing in on twenty years ago now) that while psychotherapy had pretty good efficacy for certain things, it was equivalent with “talk openly with your friends about it” in most metrics. A therapist is great for providing specific strategies to address particular challenges (for issues like PTSD, for example, a therapist can help to manage an exposure therapy approach) but after a point you’re kinda just paying through the nose for somebody to professionally emulate you having a healthy friendship with a well-adjusted person.
This format seems to always frame therapy as shitty, and the other thing as actually really cool, if complicated.
I doubt it’s intentional, but seems anti men’s mental health. And honestly, that situation is so fucked up beyond measure, that micro-aggressions like this meme format is really hurting the cause. My two cents.
Funny meme though.
Someone else here linked to knowyourmeme.
Most of them are glaringly obvious, some are meta. This one though can easily come across as “stuff closeted misandrists say to get a pat on the back” if you don’t know the format. Flanked by a good dose of nerd shaming.
I mean it’s true, men will literally comment on the internet before going to therapy. We will also literally tie our shoelaces before going to therapy.
You know what, this is a good thing. This time actually reading the knowyourmeme article, they’re a parody reaction thing. Some 20, 30 years ago a new pattern of insult cropped up here in Germany, things like Warmduscher and Schattenparker, “someone who takes warm showers”, “someone who parks in the shadow”. They were never meant literally-literally, but they did come up with a definite air of “you should be toughing it out”, “being a bit sensitive about things aren’t we”. They were quickly balanced out by things like Drahtseilbungeespringer, roughly “steel cable bungee jumper”.
Humour is serious business and usually the best weapon against shittiness we have, and if occasionally we have things that can be misinterpreted, like here, overall it’s still worth it.
That is therapy
therapy is anything you want it to be. there are 100s of styles, varieties, and etc.
therapy is whatever makes life worth living, in a broad sense, in a more narrow sense it’s whatever improves your being day to day.
and according to some folks in this thread the only thing making life worth living is seeing a therapist… and you can’t possibly be well adjusted if you don’t.
that is what we call ‘projection’.
this is what we call the “therapist industrial complex”
im kidding, but no seriously.
I’ve witnessed these old boys hanging out tinkering and chatting. The best kind of therapy.
That is a hobby. A lovely one, but still a hobby. That is not therapy.
I’m not saying you can’t gain insights into yourself or situations while doing that. It can most definitely help and be therapeutic. But therapy it is not
No offense to you, but I definitely don’t think this will address quite a few things that therapy can.
If all you are suffering from is a lack of direction in life, then this absolutely will help. You could even see improvements in social anxiety and social aptitude.
Anger problems, though? Alexithymia? Chronic episodes of mental dissociation? I don’t think working on the train crew’s gonna help
At the same time, It’s definitely been conjected that therapy is mostly woman-focused and isn’t as effective for men for various reasons. That kind of lines up with a few of my previous therapists, who felt like worthless experiences for me. I have heard of some new therapy styles implemented in certain places, though, that do sound to be genuinely helpful to dudes.
Edit: “social anxiety and social anxiety” woops
You make a decent point and illustrate by your “woman-focused” that there is a decided lack of professional therapists geared to male issues. This is why we have learned to find inner peace through creative activities. It lets us focus on the task instead of stewing on things over which we have little if any effect or control
I think most men have not learned to find inner peace and still suffer from closeted issues. The rate of suicide amongst men is still so high. There’s definitely a bias we dudes who find hobby communities, where we assume that most dudes have found these spaces. I’d argue most dudes in the US are still suffering from isolation.
I don’t think the fact that many therapists are ‘woman-focused’ is a reason to avoid therapy. You can still find a therapist that really helps. It may just take several tries. As I also mentioned, there are efforts to create methods that are more effective for men, and you can seek out those groups as well.
There is also still a strong stigma against seeking therapy, and I definitely see that argument about therapy being ‘woman-focused’ being thrown out as an excuse not to try therapy at all.
Doing something you enjoy ✅
Doing something with a community ✅
Doing something different to your normal routine ✅
And get more out of it too
Sorry, they can’t hear you over all the CHOOO CHOOOO MOTHERFUCKEEEEEERRRR!!!
CRANKIN STEAMY HOGS WITH THE PACK
What a weird fuckin take
Yeah, like you could say the exact same thing about gardening or painting or knitting. Taking up a hobby and learning how to do something can be really relaxing and beneficial to your mental health. Gender has nothing to do with it.
