i often dream and overthink my past mistakes, some are even so stupid to the point i feel cringe. i know that its already done and nothing else i can do about it but i just cannot move on from it.
i even diagnosed with anxiety disorder, and i need medication just to sleep.
i am convinced that if i know to move on, my anxiety disorder should be cured by itself, but i still lost the fight. any suggestion how you guys deal with it?
When I was a child, I would lay awake at night, in retrospect it was anxiety and depression due to loneliness (only child, sheltered, private school with less than 10 kids).
What I did, without the knowledge or concept of anxiety and depression, was that I would let me thoughts run and I would use logic and reasoning to get through them.
“What if a kid makes fun of me for this and that?” “I would then do this”, and then I would play out every single possible situation in my head on what the most common, worst, and best outcomes were.
A decade of doing that helped me.
Focus on present. Everybody makes mistakes. Do what you can now.
I get hung up on the occasional thing, I don’t have pervasive anxiety, but when that thing crosses my mind I would reflexively say a phrase to myself that is… very unhealthy. Once this mental tic gets established it makes the thing that was stuck get more ingrained so if I say the tic in my head I will just immediately start repeating “love yourself” over and over until the impulse to say the other thing has passed, eventually I’ll feel the impulse with out saying the tic and just start saying “love yourself” again and again until the impulse passes, after that it slowly fades out. I know it’s corny but it helps me when I find my mind reflexively responding to a memory with intense hostility
i think thats part of my problem, i dont really like myself tbh, i done lot of mistakes to the point its hard to love yourself.
I can so relate. The mistakes. The regrets. The guilt. The anxiety. The sleep disorders. I’ve got it all in spades.
I don’t know what to tell you? I’m working on it myself. Sometimes I think of people who stepped in and helped me through difficult times in my life, and then I try to pay it forward even in small ways to other people I meet who are themselves in a bad place. I find this therapeutic.
I suppose on the bright side, my past has made me a humble person who is not quick to judge others. But there’s a fragility there too, and I fear for how I would cope with whatever new challenges await. These are rather uncertain times.
Maybe you can take some comfort in knowing you’re not the only one in this funk? I think you’ve actually made me feel better about it a little bit. Anyway, best of luck to you that you find your way.
yes i know i am not alone, but still the thoughts of having those mistakes and burden is really exhausting.
It’s possible to bury old mistakes in a pile of new experiences, but you have to allow yourself to have those experiences
i done lot of stuff until now, but i still remember those mistakes i did decades ago.
Forgiveness for yourself very powerful.
When I needed to be forgiven and I couldn’t reach that person this practice helped me a lot ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGd1F6QoHsw) Of course, mindfulness practices are very useful too. Best of luck.You don’t.
It’s okay to remember your past mistakes and regrets since they help you make better decisions in the future
yes it did make better decision but if it makes me having anxiety disorder, i prefer to forget it.
You shouldn’t though. Otherwise how would you learn? Looking back you didn’t know how to act at the time, so try to reframe it
yeah i think you are right, although i prefer learn it from other people, i just dont want more troubles
personally i refuse to, as soon as i fuck up i berate myself for everything until i want to throw myself into a meat grinder
yeah i dont think i can do that, i prefer playing safe.
What works is planning. Plan what you’d do, if the situation were to arise again. Once you have a plan, your mind will stop bugging you. Works for me!
unfortunately lot of stuff happens even with careful planning, its like destined to be doomed. learned from experiences.
my therapist would say you dont have to cure your anx disorder but to live with it. instead try different techniques and practice those that work. ACT. CBT. DBT. good luck on the forever fight.
Please, change this therapist!
hm? i’m interested is there something that they should be doing instead?
I stay high to keep my long term memory at bay. Unfortunately I’m still covered in scars which makes it harder…
Remember how forgiving you are of others and apply that to yourself
That’s called ruminating. Are you neurodivergent? Therapy and/or correcting the behavior every time you catch yourself doing it.
well i am not neurodivergent, i did talked to my therapist and he gives me medication to help me sleep.
how does that work?
Wiki explains better than me: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumination_(psychology)
The only thing that has somewhat worked for me is to be physically active. I can clearly tell the difference between periods where I am active vs periods when I’m inactive.
Something as simple as taking a long walk in green areas have done wonders in the past. It empties my mind and I become nothing more than a machine that moves. It is the closest I can get to meditation and I think a lot of anxiety is trapped energy that needs a physical outlet.
I’m not diagnosed with anything, but I have been an anxious bitch for my entire adult life due to some bad things I went through, so I know how persistent and irrationally extreme anxiety can become.
Walking in forests and fields are not gonna magically cure life long brain patterns, but they sure as shit make them shut up for long enough that you get to enjoy life a little and are too exhausted to worry about all the stupid things that don’t matter, but your brain loves torturing you with.
When you have walked in a forest for an hour or two or even just 20 minutes, something inside you automatically calms. Nature is so important for the soul and we sometimes forget that. Of course, in case you live in a scorching hot desert, you may not have this option, but if you have a forest around where you live, go for a walk on a well used trail and take in the changing seasons. After a couple of weeks and months, the longterm effects will be apparent. You’ll still be anxious, but a lot less so.
unfortunately i live in middle of busy city with no nearby forest or even park, its all just buildings with pollution everywhere.
🫠 man, my condolences.
In that case, a gym membership or something like it might be your best option. You don’t have to go hard or be perfect, but throwing some earbuds in and following a set routine can really help empty the mind for an hour as well. I used to go to the gym when I lived in the city and it was so nice to have an hour a day where the only thing I had to do was "go on treadmill for 30 minutes, go do three sets of five differnet exercises and then go stretch for 10 to 20 minutes.
I found my own workout plan by watching a few gym youtubers and looking up exercise programs that seemed beneficial. I’d do arms and stomach one day and legs and back the next and just switch day to day. Nothing crazy or ambitious, just something to get the pulse up and to escape my own mind for a bit.
If gyms aren’t too expensive, then consider it and if it is too expensive, consider home yoga. For that, you only need a mat and you can find tons of programs online. Yoga is also good wheb you’re in an apartment and you might not have a lot of space and have neighbors.
I hope you find a way! Exercise really does help woth anxiety! It’s bit a cure, but it makes life bearable <3
yeah i prefer home workout since its expensive and far away. hope it will helps, thanks.
brute force new mistakes
