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It’s not a disease or character flaw, for fuck’s sake.
Annoyed introverts are not convinced
“start masking yourself because you make other people uncomfortable”
It was fine when extroverts expected introverts to exhaust themselves conforming to a society that values you and not them.
But I’m an extrovert and do this too cause there’s way more introverts than extroverts and they all find me overwhelming and/or annoying
Yep! My extrovert experience has been largely trying to find the balance between overwhelming/annoying/“too much” and shutting up entirely in awkward shame. It involves lots of trying to make sure I’m not overly talking over introverts, pressuring them to speak more than they’re comfortable, not carrying my load of the conversation, or accidentally disappearing from it.
Just because I love socializing and need more of it than others doesn’t mean I’m good at it or that I don’t have a similar history of social rejection, especially growing up, to a lot of folks online.
There’s also a fair bit that’s reminiscent of being the designated tall person. I’m able to ask strangers questions without too much difficulty, something some introverts in my life greatly appreciate.
“There’s more introverts than extroverts” hell naw, it’s the opposite. There’s way more extroverts than introverts in the world, unfortunately
Could you be neurodivergent?
We’re on lemmy, what do you think?
we are all neurodivergent on this blessed day
It definitely is seen as a problem to be fixed
Because it scares the “others.” They don’t want your thoughts quiet in your head. They want them out loud where they can assess and judge you.
Imagine a room full of extroverts. This would essentially be a circus without audience.
You think extroverts are incapable of observing and listening?
Not always but mostly yes
Its just a horde. Somebody gets lynched within like an hour.
The extroverts I met usually get along very well
A lot of people can’t tell the difference between extroverts and covert narcissists
Totally extroverted?
Here’s the benefits of having friends with interiority who might be real people!
It’s hard to sell an article on empathic behaviour to people whose personality type is only sustainable due to a empathy deficit. That’s why you’ll never find such an article.
But anyway, the trick to be more extrovert is to pretend other people are NPCs.
If you think extroverts are inherently unempathetic I think you may have issues.
I still didn’t meet an extrovert that didn’t behave like a solipsist.
If you don’t assume other people are exactly like you then interacting with a stranger in a empathic manner will necessarily consume energy. If you come out of it energinised it just means you put almost no effort into empathising with them.
And you’re the one accusing solipsism?
Your empathy apparently doesn’t extend to people who don’t work like you.
If an analogy helps, think of it like eating: it takes energy to eat and digest food, but afterwards you have more energy. That’s what social interaction is like for extroverts.
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I’ve got a couple that have made it, but most of mine hover in the 200-500 range
im usually very extroverted, id love an article like that amy tips?
This is going to sound weird, but: actually shut your mouth. Physically keep it shut. You’ll end up talking anyway, and that’s okay. When you notice you’re talking more than most again, physically shut your mouth.
And when you notice someone else talking, wait until they stop talking before you start. Like actively count to 3 when they have said their last word. Holes in a conversation aren’t a bad thing, especially if they are as short as this.
As an extroverted person? Play some online games with the mic on and talk to your team. They’ll tell you to shut up constantly, :D
Seriously though, if you get your energy from meeting people like I do. It’s important to be self-reflective more and do hobbies that are calming. I can draw for hours and it’s amazing or even calligraphy! I’ve been doing crochet as well now. I just lose hours and it’s a nice mindfulness exercise.
If you’re concerned about talking too much then I would say just practice listening more. I wouldn’t say I interrupt someone when they’re talking but I do interrupt the flow sometimes because I can carry silence a lot. Which is kinda why people like having me around (convos don’t get boring) … however, I used to definitely go too far with it. So, it’s good to sit back and let conversations and quietness play out and you can see how others would have carried the convo without you. I remember reading about Sir Patrick Stewart about it:
Patrick Stewart has said that playing Jean-Luc Picard changed him as a person. “…I suppose [he] even had some influence on me. I became a better listener than I ever had been as a result of playing Jean-Luc Picard because it was one of the things that he does terrifically well.”
I knew I was killing conversations when I hung out with ANOTHER outgoing person and they kept doing what I was doing to a higher degree and I was like, “it’s kinda nice having someone carry conversations like this … at the same time, it’s kinda draining because I can’t get a word in”.
Mine would be: When spending time with introverts, it’s okay to not say anything and just quietly spend time together doing your own respective things.
If you don’t already, actively search for some time to spend by yourself. Don’t text people. Don’t go on social media (even here). Do a quiet activity (read a book, draw, write, etc.) or meditate for an hour. Feel only your thoughts.
Next time you’re with a group that isn’t all extroverts, maybe try a mini version of just existing. Appreciate silence.
All I can really think of — I honestly think both parts of these meme are reductive and inaccurate af.
Literally just shut the fuck up and mind your own business. You are now cured.
Fuck Oprah and her dumb fucking magazine.
Oh trust me people are bad at speaking as it is, you guys go full don’t talk until spoken to ain’t nobody gonna ever say a word again. Good luck in need any communicative moments, gosh you all are just afraid of the fact that your introverted nature has to do with how you feel about yourself and the value of your words. Also, extrovert normally is someone trying to keep things light or spoken up on so we don’t get away with bad stuff. So nah. I bartended events with 10s of thousands of people I’m a talker, you need us.
Yes, LemmySchpemmy, keep talking. Do your thing. There’s nothing I’d like more to read and answer to. People like you are needed to get all the attention they need.
So, I hope I shielded the bait for everybody else.
I’m old and late to the neurodivergent thing. It’s been interesting and a little comforting to realize that I’m not as weird and alone as I once thought. I’ve struggled most of my life, not greatly, but still a struggle, to “fit in” with extroverts, because that’s all I’ve seen.Those who are more extrovert are loud and insistent and everywhere it seems, so it’s hard to see the rest of us, sometimes, in spite of apparently making up 30% or likely more of the population.
It would have been nice to come to this understanding when I was a teenager when I was really struggling, but that can’t be changed.
To the extroverts: you’re not superior, you’re just different, the same way introverts are not superior, or inferior, just different. I’d wager that the more introverted among us have made much of what we take for granted possible. We’re the scientists and engineers, and a bit ironically the ones who are more curious and thoughtful about the world.
There was the “you’re an extroverted-introvert” or opposite label also going around for a while, to describe people in the middle.
Best way I heard it described was introverts need quiet time to feel refreshed, while extroverts need social time to recharge. This helps me understand my wife better. I need wind down time, she needs the constant chatter. It is a challenging compromise sometimes 😀
It’d be like “Extroverted? You’ve got ADHD.”
As an introverted ADHD guy, I dissent
There are so many terms or pairs of opposites that should be totally neutral, but are in fact valued very obviously and often in a completely unspoken and subconscious way.
What I mean is, ‘extrovert - introvert’: both terms just objectively describe something. They do not value one over the other, and everybody who thinks about it for a few minutes should understand that it’s about finding a balance. But society (or something) values ‘extrovert’ as “good”, opposed to ‘introvert’, and you will find it very hard to overcome that even if you see it.
As I said, there are many more (pairs of) terms like this. Another would be ‘freedom - rules’. It’s very hard to argue in favor of rules when the other keeps saying “but freedom”.
Society also values waking up early for some reason.
As an introverted night person I really feel this lol. Also society absolutely does not respect any deviation from this. I actually tried it once a few years ago, I was out of work temporarily but I had enough savings that I was okay for a few months, so for the first month I just decided to recharge. Part of that was keeping to my natural sleep cycle, which is to wake up sort of late-morning-early afternoon and then stay up late to like 4-5 in the morning.
I had no work pressure to be up early, so it was only social. I told all my close friends I was doing this, and I was putting my phone on Do Not Disturb while I was asleep, so in the mornings I was essentially unreachable. Almost every single one of them said “Oh yeah no worries” and almost every single one of them ignored it completely and I’d wake up with a bunch of missed calls and texts. Some of them got properly mad. Someone called me and I didn’t answer so they came over and started knocking on the door. None of it was for anything important, all of them were told I was going to be asleep.
It’s the same for working from home. People just show up wanting to hang out as if you have the day off, or ask you to watch their kid or whatever. Same thing, you can say to them “I am working at my job, if I was in an office would you show up there for this?” And they’ll say they understand, then a week or so later it’s back to the same thing.
I realize this makes my friends sound horrible lol. They’re not, I just meant to illustrate that society in general is really weird about anything that doesn’t fit in the normal boundaries.
There is a small mountain of exactly these kinds of messages on the Internet, shared repeatedly on social media. A lot of them, in fact, are this exact tweet and its clones.
Yelling at extroverts online for being extroverted is a well-established trope at this point, nearly always including the claim that it rarely or never happens.
“You get an ostentatious personality! And you get an ostentatious personality!” /s
