I don’t think I have any form of emotional bond with my parents. I get along with them ‘fine’ but I know very little about them and they know very little about me.
I think they realized this and gave a lot more attention to my sibling (this is not jealousy speaking. They just spend much more time with them) which is good for them.
It’s like living with strangers. I don’t think I’ve ever had an actual serious discussion with them in my life, save for being scolded as a kid.
It’s odd. I don’t think I realized it until I was on a date and my mother called and when the conversation was over I just hung up. And my date said “You don’t tell your mom you love her when you hang up?”
I suppose it was never ingrained in me to love them
I have a better relationship with one parent than the other, but in both cases, I struggle to do the “I love you” thing. I think for me it’s twofold: 1) Those words feel weighty to me so it feels dishonest or cheap somehow to say them in an off-handed way if I’m not feeling it in the moment. 2) It feels like a very vulnerable place to go because of how I see the words, so then it’s like a more sensitive headspace to get into, which feels like an odd prospect for shooting it off at the end of a phone call or whatever.
Like I don’t have anything against people using it in a casual, affirming way, but the idea of me doing that with others just feels weird. Maybe if I was generally happier, it’d come out more easily, I dunno. But I do know that I’ve experienced loss before and I definitely cared and still care, so it’s not like I don’t care about losing loved ones. Just that specific social ritual does not come naturally to me for some reason.
I don’t think I have any form of emotional bond with my parents. I get along with them ‘fine’ but I know very little about them and they know very little about me.
I think they realized this and gave a lot more attention to my sibling (this is not jealousy speaking. They just spend much more time with them) which is good for them.
It’s like living with strangers. I don’t think I’ve ever had an actual serious discussion with them in my life, save for being scolded as a kid.
It’s odd. I don’t think I realized it until I was on a date and my mother called and when the conversation was over I just hung up. And my date said “You don’t tell your mom you love her when you hang up?”
I suppose it was never ingrained in me to love them
I have a better relationship with one parent than the other, but in both cases, I struggle to do the “I love you” thing. I think for me it’s twofold: 1) Those words feel weighty to me so it feels dishonest or cheap somehow to say them in an off-handed way if I’m not feeling it in the moment. 2) It feels like a very vulnerable place to go because of how I see the words, so then it’s like a more sensitive headspace to get into, which feels like an odd prospect for shooting it off at the end of a phone call or whatever.
Like I don’t have anything against people using it in a casual, affirming way, but the idea of me doing that with others just feels weird. Maybe if I was generally happier, it’d come out more easily, I dunno. But I do know that I’ve experienced loss before and I definitely cared and still care, so it’s not like I don’t care about losing loved ones. Just that specific social ritual does not come naturally to me for some reason.