• amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    20 days ago

    Chronic anxiety is so weird cause I can look and act really calm on the outside, even while feeling like something is vaguely wrong about everything and nothing. I’m pretty sure there was a time when I just thought I was calm because that’s what other people said about me and it seemed plausible enough. But looking back, I was distinctly anxious about various things even at a young age. I just didn’t have the kind of relationship / family dynamic where it felt like something I could bring up, or maybe even had the words for. Signs of it were instead categorized as “shy” or “introverted”. Other siblings of mine were the “sensitive ones” and I didn’t want to be one of the “sensitive ones”, so I learned to repress my emotions instead I guess. Which was pretty easy to do since I could learn it by mimicking a parent who did the same kind of thing.

    Also I’ve heard that prolonged stress can be damaging to memory, among other things. Or maybe it was specifically about depression and such, I don’t know. Can’t remember off the top of my head (tempted to say “no joke intended” to be a smartass about the other recent comment in here). But anyway, I think I’ve been hit by that kind of thing a lot. I can remember enough to function, but in terms of like childhood memories or even things I did a few years ago, there just isn’t that much that I remember. I think a lot of my memory gets funneled toward looking for threats (cause anxiety) and little toward reminiscing and tradition. Which makes it harder to build and maintain relationships.

    If I’d grown up in an AES state, I might have made a good detective. But then again, if I’d grown up in a place like that, maybe I would have been genuinely more chill too. Mentally, in my liberal days, I briefly flirted with the idea of looking into that kind of thing, but I’m glad I didn’t cause it would suck to learn that and end up working for imperialists.

    • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      20 days ago

      Same. I grew up with anxiety probably as a byproduct of being on the spectrum. It sucks ass. Recently I had therapy though and it was a bit of a breakthrough. But now I have to process years of anxiety and spectrum denial too.

      I hope you can find some peace of mind and someone to share your thoughts with, even if it is online.

    • Sleepless One@lemmy.mlEnglish
      0·
      20 days ago

      Also I’ve heard that prolonged stress can be damaging to memory, among other things. Or maybe it was specifically about depression and such, I don’t know. Can’t remember off the top of my head (tempted to say “no joke intended” to be a smartass about the other recent comment in here). But anyway, I think I’ve been hit by that kind of thing a lot. I can remember enough to function, but in terms of like childhood memories or even things I did a few years ago, there just isn’t that much that I remember.

      Mood. I’ve been depressed since I was a child and my memory is shit.

      • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
        0·
        19 days ago

        Sorry to hear that. Hope you can heal from the depression at some point. It’s a rough thing. I’m pretty sure I’ve had low-grade depression for a long time myself.

  • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
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    23 days ago

    everyone be kind to themselves and to others and i hope all of you fare well this coming week. happy pride month to all as well :)

  • ☭CommieWolf☆@lemmygrad.ml
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    23 days ago

    I’m really worried about Cuba. I had a similar feeling of dread right before Venezuela was defeated, and Iran was attacked. But unlike the previous two, Cuba is the most vulnerable and susceptible to collapse under US pressure right now.

    • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      22 days ago

      Cuba has survived a kind of economic siege and attempts to coup them for decades now. It’s always possible they could fall, but that’s true of the US capitalist class too. We live in uncertain times and the empire is trying to reassert itself in decline but the material realities don’t hold up. I think the US and israel are in somewhat mirrored positions right now, in that way. Israel is obviously more vulnerable as a whole, but both have more fronts open than they can handle, have global reputations in freefall, and are too stuck in belligerence to assert stability.

      Also, I would not characterize the Bolivarian Revolution as defeated, from the information I’ve seen. They appear to be working through a difficult strategic retreat and some internal struggle to work through as a result, but the struggle for liberation is a war, not a single battle.

      Your worry is valid, but I encourage you to zoom out and consider the larger picture.

    • La Dame d'Azur@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      0·
      22 days ago

      Cuba is extremely vulnerable. The U.S. can just attack it unceasingly with less time needed for positioning units. They won’t have as much time to prepare in between strikes.

      Venezuela and Iran can hold out but I don’t think Cuba can do the same.

      • Large Cane Toad@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
        0·
        20 days ago

        Yeah, the threat of USSR retaliation kept the US in check for many years with countries like Cuba. Russia is stretched to the limits of their capabilities, China has yet to show any hardline commitment towards interventionism, and everyone else is either willingly allied with the US or too weak to do anything. There is no one to kept the US in check for going rogue especially with countries in their backyard. Plus, air power is much more destructive and capable now then in the past if you lack the modern air defenses to match or can inflict equal damage back with your own modern offensive capabilities like Iran did, guerilla warfare with only rpg-7s and AK47s won’t get you as far in 2026 as it did in the 1970s.

  • 小莱卡@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
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    22 days ago

    y’all wud go crazy hearing mexican media trying to frame “collaborating” with the CIA, without telling federal goverment, as a good thing. The CIA!

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
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    18 days ago

    Labeling everything aimed at jewish people as antisemitism has done some real damage. Jewish people circumcise their kids and in Antwerp they take it one step further. Over here the rabbi who does the act (no medical expert btw) sucks the blood out of the penis afterwards. Several children contacted HIV already.

    Now, normal people would be disgusted but because of Europe’s questionable past we now have jewish figures in the media defending sucking little kiddie dicks as tradition and everyone is acting like they have done wrong by saying that shit is insane.

    The rabbi sounding the alarm is now treated as a borderline pariah in the community. The leading liberal party in the country has a zionist on board who defends this shit.

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
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    19 days ago

    Well, back in the motherland. It will take some time to adjust from a vibrant and metropolitan city like Antwerp to the tech hub that is the Eindhoven region. There is no real left wing org that I know of here, so I will have to look to some niche ones I guess.

    The plus side is that this region is getting a shit ton of money though and they are ramping up the skyscraper building, which as a skyscraper nerd I can enjoy.

    But jesus christ did I forget how boring and backwards this area can be lol. No more 24/7 living I guess.

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    22 days ago

    Saw a vid on the Dutch TV about an Israeli dude on a construction site, I guess he is responsible for it, explaining how some new rules make it illegal for Palestinians to work on his site. He started crying because he says he misses them a lot and they are his friends and he is worried about them. Probably the first Israeli person I have seen in years who shows a shred of emotion about what is happening.