I talked to her and she said she was just tired of seeing gay people on her feed and how Pride is announced everywhere and that she just wants to be left alone. She saw how I felt though and apologized but also respectfully disagreed
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There’s no respectful disagreement with someone who wants you to hide who you are.
that’s very fair, she claims to “just hate the flags and representation” but often what you see is just the tip of the iceberg to one’s bigotry
See, that’s the thing about pride. It only bothers people who don’t think you should be proud.
Now, if she had said “I hate corporations using pride to market their shit,” or “I hate empty virtue signalling,” then that’s a horse of a different color. But it bothered her when you posted it.
If this is something important to you, a “respectful” disagreement on such a fundamental topic isn’t a recipe for a healthy relationship.
i mean, i’m pan and trans myself so i should probably break up because i can’t just hope she’ll change
It hurt when I broke up with someone I couldn’t be myself around, but I don’t regret it, years later.
But I hope you remember this is your relationship and your choice. You decide what is working or not working for you.
Whatever you decide, sending good vibes your way. Sorry you had to deal with this.
You’re gay people, is she tired of seeing you in her feed?
This has all the makings of a non-apology
fair, she likes me for some reason, she only hates gay representation.
Then she is a shit head
Representation is what humanizes outgroups. Think carefully abt what you want from a partner.
That doesn’t sound like she behaved any better.
Has she ever explored why she doesn’t like seeing pride flags beyond the “it’s annoying” deflection?
You could ask her if she feels this way about other flags, and if it’s just the pride flag, she should reflect on why she has such a visceral reaction to it.
People who whine about lgbtqia+ people being visible usually have some kind of internalized bigotry. Some people don’t realize that propaganda has rubbed off on them, but still use bigoted excuses to not have to look deeper because self reflection is hard.
“she wants to be left alone”? Left alone by whom? Are gay people knocking on her door, sending her flyers, and getting upset that doesn’t have a million pride flags?
Or is she just bothered by gay people existing, and wants them to shut up and pretend they’re not gay?
To me it’s a product of these people’s own making. They support people trying to repress/persecute people from existing, people post/talk about it more, which garners attention from media/tv shows/movies/news whatever, and puts it into a cycle of them being bigots about seeing it, and trying to repress them more, which ultimately gets more attention on those minorities and creates a more dangerous world for everyone. If we stop repressing people, they won’t have to be prideful to just exist.
she hates representation and pride flags
Bet she doesn’t hate cishet representation. That her feed isn’t as populated by LGBT+ stuff. And even if it was, telling you, her SO, to stop doing it comes of as really bad vibes.
I’m not vegan, my SO is, and they like to post pro animal stuff, sometimes on the guilting side. I don’t tell them to stop posting it on their stories, I did ask them to not send it to me but that’s a completely different thing.
You should have a really serious talk with her, I’m surprised that you went from responding “yeah I’m going to” to people suggesting you dump her, to now saying something akin to “dw folks it was a misunderstanding, she’s just a closeted bigot not an outward one ❤️❤️”. I mean, your choice, but I feel like you are being inconsistent.
Good luck.
