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I see a lot of objectionable behavior out in public. A lot of it is from children. But most of it is not. If I’m thinking through my 10 worst flight experiences, or subway experiences, or coffee shop experiences, none of them involve children. Children are mostly a mild annoyance (and I say this as someone who mostly doesn’t like other people’s kids), but mostly harmless.
So the reaction of singling out the children for immediate correction, through physical force and violence, seems to be selectively targeted, and makes me suspect it’s just people who just don’t like children. Unless these same people say that a person holding up the line, playing music too loud on the subway, getting too close in your personal space, throwing trash on the ground, catcalling women, using slurs in public, etc., all deserve to be beaten, too.
And for people in the thread who are saying stuff like “oh yeah you shouldn’t beat your kids, but you should keep those children out of public places,” it also calls to mind the way some people talk about the homeless or the disabled, like they’re ruining your good time by simply existing within your vicinity.
We’re all just trying to coexist. Being in public, in a place open and accessible to everyone else, is inherently going to involve compromise, where we’re not able to exclude others (the deal that comes with them not being able to exclude you). You can’t let other people aggravate you enough to, like, post a TikTok about it (which I also consider to be objectionable behavior).
The kind of attitude you are talking about here is btw called adultism, which is a selective bias against children.
Gen X, I presume?
Who is the 50-something in this situation?
It bothers me how Generation X has been stretched out over time. It should be more people in their 60s. Coupland is 63. If you’re 55 now you were barely in high school when his book about late 20s-early 30s people came out.
Intellectually I understand why we gave up on the “Gen Y” stuff once the idea of Millenials surfaced, but I’m in that gradient where during my lifetime I went through waves of being post-Gen X, then a millenial, then all the way back to Gen X, then sorta millenial again once it became OK for millenials to have kids and jobs and be old and stuff.
Generational designators are bullshit anyway, but if you’re in that gap between X and millenials, or between millenials and Gen Z, now going through that exact process, they become annoying bullshit.
Generational demarcations are cultural, so having a hard line in between them is a bit of BS, but there were greater cultural affinity trends thanks to monoculture which has only really existed since WWII. With the way the internet is fracturing media exposure, generational cohorts may fall apart and be meaningless because there’s not one set of TV shows everyone watches together anymore, for example.
The Boomers had a ton of media from 1955-1972 to lean on for self-identification. Gen X and Millennials did the same, but Millennials and Boomers both had large-scale structural changes take place that entrenched their cohort’s cultural baseline. Gen X got screwed by the Oil Crisis, after-effects of the Boomers figuring out how to deal with Vietnam, and the economic downturn in the 70s. Boomers sucked the air out of the room and saved some of it for Millennials.
Gen X had no Moon Landing or JFK in Dallas moments that were a “where were you?” nostalgia. We didn’t get that again until 9/11, which pitches it to Millennials. Gen X had some monocultural elements, mostly phenomenal music and movies, but they weren’t as pervasive as Boomers getting TV for the first time.
I expect you might be part of the “Oregon Trail” cohort, which is the cusp between X and MIllennials - resilience of Gen X, but comfortable with dayglow colors and likely had access to an early computer in elementary school where MECC games like Oregon Trail were common. I think it’s literally people born 1979-1983. It works, though.
See, I kinda see it the other way. Generational demarcations used to be cultural and thus geographically determined back when different places had different media. Now we all have the same garbage social media, so since the 2000s it makes sense that we’re all on the same boat made of crap and hate.
For example, my parents had a moon landing, but it looked, sounded different and meant very different things. Also for example, I had no idea what Oregon Trail was or what it was about until the Internet told me it was a staple of US computer classes. If you think about it for a few seconds it may be no surprise that my equivalent was some combination of drawing dicks in LOGO, Defender of the Crown and Saboteur II.
We have local names for people born in the late 70s to mid 90s, too. After that we just use the US-designed universal names, though.
I was born in 96 when my mom was 19. I remember sometime in middle to early high school looking up the generation year cut offs and thinking it was wild my mom and i were considered the same generation; her being the start of the generation and me being the end.
Obviously thats no longer the case with current generation year cutoffs, but im now starting to see 96 included as the first year of gen Z which feels…wierd. I definitely dont connect with people of gen Z easily because it feels like…well…a different generation, but at the same time I feel a disconnect with other, older, millenials because they tend to remember the 90s more than myself. Im not sure about anyone else, but being born in 96 feels like being stuck between two generations that you partially relate to, but not really.
Late Gen X / early Millennial is called a Xennial. We’re characterized as having been born in a largely analog world and coming of age as consumer technology became more prevalent. I think it informally encompasses 1977-1983.
I was born in '81 and graduated high school in '99. I grew up hearing that I was Gen X, the slacker generation, the whatever generation, the generation where trying was uncool. And that’s exactly the experience I had. I was an adult before I ever heard the term ‘millennial’ and I don’t identify with it at all, though technically I’m on the cusp. Xennial does seem to fit though.
That’s one of the places where it landed. And certainly the stupidest sounding one.
I didn’t make up “Gen Y”, it was a thing you’d hear at the time, it just didn’t stick. Iliza Shlesinger has a comedy special called Elder Millennial, which is also a thing I’ve heard elsewhere. She was born in 83.
It’s all a dumb mess, I guess is my point.
The children
Out of curiosity do you mean the age of the person who posted, the person in the image, or something else? I am a Gen X and my children look about the age of the person in the screenshot.
More the messaging, than the person in the picture…because yeah, they look too young to be Gen X.
I’m Gen X too, and I’m pretty sure we were the last generation where it was considered “normal” to get beaten in public for behavioral reasons.
I’m confused with ages here, have we standardized this?
- Greatest Generation (born roughly 1901–1927)
- Silent Generation (1928–1945)
- Baby Boomers (1946–1964)
- Generation X (1965–1980)
- Millennials (1981–1996)
- Generation Z (1997–2012)
- Generation Alpha (born around 2013–2024)
- Generation Beta (2025–2039)
I’m annoyed by this on principle and across the board, but I do want to point out that “Greatest Generation” all the way to “Baby Boomers” makes zero sense in most of the planet. You can sooooort of get away with Millenials to Alpha because the Internet is a bad idea, and Gen X at least applies to probably most of Europe as well as the US and Canada, although it’s still weird across the board.
But everything before that? Super specifically US-only.
Those generations are common like that at least in Germany too. It’s not as specific as you think. And even if it was then it’s made up regardless so who cares. It’s a useful concept.
You are telling me Germans consider people born in the first 20 years of the 20th century to be “the greatest generation”?
Holy crap, you may hang out with the wrong Germans. Did they seem particularly excited about the recent NRW elections?
I don’t think the names are particularly relevant, but the idea that people born in those years have done shared experience notably different from other times is—to the extent it can ever be true for any specified dates (which is a very low extent)—fairly consistent across at least western countries and their colonies.
Makes sense. Yep, I have multiple friends my age who were on the receiving end of some “tough love”.
Some of my earliest “formative memories” were of getting walloped in the middle of a grocery store aisle, for whining about cereal. My mother said, “pick which one you want”. I thought that meant I could pick something I actually wanted. Apparently not. My choices were shredded wheat or cheerios.
Everything else in that aisle was a decoy, with a spanking attached to it.
Every child i encounter is extremely well behaved
I wish I could say the same for middle aged suburban moms. Fucking miserable people.
It’s crazy seeing kids being kids. In the 90’s abuse was legal and used, daily. I guess the trade off is life expectancy since we didn’t dodge bullets on the daily.
In 1990 violent crime was twice what it is now. It dropped heavily from 91’ until 99’.
We just think it is more dangerous now because we can see it every time we reach in our pockets. (And companies make money off making sure we see it.)
I would say school shootings are higher now than any point in U.S. history. Child abuse is always an issue but kids today are more protected than in the 90s.
Yeah I would say they have been abnormally high since 2016, with 2020 being an oddity (COVID).
Murders overall are half what they were in 1990. Meaning we have a lot more targeted attacks for various reasons I’m not going to speculate in because my bias would likely impact what I think reasonings may be.
Yeah, it is safer now then ever before overall. I live in Sacramento. Very big place area wise but 20 years ago… It was dangerous with almost half the population size.
New York in the early 90s was cool but you never went down any alleys. I don’t care what it was. If it rolls down the alley it is the lords then.
“I was abused as a child so I think other children should also be abused” - cringe-ass toktok moron
EDIT: Gotta love being downvoted by damaged people dedicated to continue the cycle of violence
There’s a lot of space between “just let them carry on with whatever” and “beat them like I expected to be”. Not to mention, “getting my ass beat by my parents” might not mean literally getting beat, but can be a metaphor for any kind of discipline (though I can see how it can fall into the uncanny valley since there were and are parents that would literally beat asses).
“Those pesky kids need a beating” is a meme several thousands years old
It’s pretty hard being a dad and wanting to not hit my kids (which I do not) because I know damn well when they’re throwing shit and having an absolute exorcist level tantrum over some inconsequential shit I just think “yeah my mum would have smacked my ass and I’d not have done that again” for the eighth time each day…
“Calm it down or you’ll lose your tablet time” doesn’t have the same immediate corrective effect.
Talk to them. Make them feel dig. Get right in there and help them determine what their emotions are doing and how to regulate them. That’ll teach them!!
When I was a kid, my parents used to leave me at home with my brother and he would be abusive af. He tied me up ones with zipties. One time, I felt so scared of my brother, I had to run away from home. I’m so used to all this, every time I hear my mother’s voice, I feel terrified, its like PTSD-inducing.
Then my mother gets [suprisedpikachuface.jpg] when I have depression. What did you expect, bitch, you caused this.
Yeah but then I see grown ass adults doing the same shit. And since they’re my age they more than likely got beat.
no body is stopping you now
My 11-month old is an absolute saint when we’re out and about, then a horrifying tornado of destruction when he’s at home. I suspect a lot of it is just boredom, but its hard to tell because… 11-mo olds aren’t great at verbalizing their discontent.
As he gets older and he starts losing that starstruck look of wonderment at the mall or a new restaurant or wherever, I suspect he’ll be harder to control. But he’s also incredibly clever, athletic, and curious. I don’t want to discourage any of this just to make parenting a bit easier in the short term.
Can’t fucking imagine actually hitting him. I know what that did to me after the rare few times my mom did it. I still can’t bring myself to forgive her 30 years later. And there’s no way I want my son thinking of me that way.
They’re experiencing restraint collapse.
You’re doing a great job parenting! It’s one of the most difficult jobs in the world to do well. Restraint collapse is a great indicator that you’re doing well. It’s also hell because you take everything on. Thank you for parenting well.
The answer isn’t to beat your kids though. I just think the current generation is taking the good advice to not hit your kids and is too impatient (or doesn’t have enough time) to actually raise kids that aren’t screaming all the damn time.
Try telling your kids not to scream.
… and watch them screaming even more just to annoy you.
It’s so fucking insane to me that the majority of Americans think beating your kids is acceptable and even healthy
Then You haven’t met Australians
/woosh
Kids don’t “scream JUST to annoy you”. If you think that you might be the parent people are complaining about.
Kids are gonna be kids sometimes mate. But they are people. They aren’t doing something “just to annoy you”. They have reasons they act the way they do. And it’s always because of who raised them.
My point was about actually being a parent and being able to raise a child with mutual respect. It’s obviously not just “stop screaming”.
The biggest thing is teaching your child that screaming does not get them positive results. Lots of parents have a really hard time transitioning from raising an infant, to raising a toddler, to raising a kid.
By the time they are a teenager they are still whining like an infant to get what they want.
I heard a kid screaming in public a couple weeks ago. I swear to God it sounded like a toddler having a tantrum. I look over and it’s literally a kid at least 10 years old. It blew my mind. The parents where treating him like an infant trying to find out what he wanted.
Yeah, part of it is to teach that they won’t get their way by annoying you into giving in. Helps in my case that I can be a stubborn fuck, too. It means I have to choose my battles because I don’t want to back myself into a situation where I make a choice, realize it’s not the best one, but feel like I have to stand my ground to combat whining. Luckily we’re past the point of tantrums and she’s old enough that I can explain my reasoning in cases where I say one thing at first but then later change my mind.
But there’s two other parts imo. One is teaching them the right way to express what they want (as well as when stating what they want might be rude or out of line, like if it’s in response to getting a gift that isn’t their top choice). And the other is being open and honest about the why. I only use “because I said so” or some equivalent to deal with the endless chain of "why?"s (though I’ve found deflecting it back at her is also effective, like “why do you think it is?”).
Wow, I was actually agreeing with you here. Telling your kids to not scream does not work.
So yes, woosh apparently.
Well given the equal up and down votes on your comment I think your reply can clearly be interpreted as disagreement. Also, saying kids “scream just to annoy you” is ignorant.
Don’t make an unclear ignorant comment and expect people to take it in good faith.
If you make adversarial choices, your kids will definitely scream to annoy you. You took it as me saying that kids “only” scream to annoy, which is obviously not true.
So yes, I was on the internet assuming that people argue in good faith and try to have a good time … I mean yeah, I guess I should have seen that one coming.
I think I’m not cut out for this.
Well, neither is true, though. Newer generations don’t just magically have less patience. Nor children today are more prone to tantrums and screaming than children in the past 30 million years. That’s just good old, “back in my days”, backwards thinking that has, ironically, also always existed amongst the older generations.
It’s a song and dance, driven by evolution, it has happened before and it will continue to happen. As this thread and hundreds of threads, and newspaper articles, and postcards, and letters, and books, and clay tablets and campfire rants have proven, ever since humans developed speech.
Kids these days.
The internet has drastically and measurably changed the behavior and attention span of children.
Socrates said the same thing about books.
And that is equally true.
We said the same thing. Of the TV. And the radio before that. And of the comics before that. And of the theater before that. And of the circus before that. Etc.
We ought to be careful of many pseudoscientific claims. Specially in psychology. We don’t have a control group of children before the advent of the internet to compare today’s children with. The “i 'member!” crowd are now all adults, a group who are notoriously biased and bad at being objective regarding their own childhood.
We can compare today’s children with and without certain habits, and indeed it has been found that mobile internet access, and social media specially, are detrimental to children in some personality development aspects and cognitive skills. But this is not a pass to make broad generalizations of entire generations of all children and parents across the globe. That’s just generational bigotry.
Like, different habits lead to different behaviors? Sure, no shit. But that doesn’t change the fundamental make up of human beings.
I’m a little confused why you don’t think there have been journaled studies on the differences between children with access to technology and those without. Some examples are impoverished communities and countries and people in strict religious sects. TV, radio, books, they have all had an impact on they way brains develop and process information. Biologically no, if you pluck a newborn and place them in North Sentinel Island, they will adapt perfectly. But that’s the thing, the human mind is meant to adapt to its surroundings. The surrounding of the majority of children today is being absolutely bombarded with distractions, and it has a measurable affect on behavior across the board.
Oh, let me clarify. There are studies. What I mean is that you cannot compare today’s children to children from, say, 200 years ago, not even 50 years ago. It’s not possible as people back then unfortunately couldn’t see the future and foresee that their future scientific counterparts would need certain observational data on children’s behaviors. So we have cross sectional and cohort studies on the impact of smart phones and the internet. But this won’t say anything about generational differences amongst children, or the generational comparative differences to previous cohorts of children. Thus, it is impossible to say “parents today are less patient” or “kids today scream more”. Those are stupid and annoying common place generalizations from people who don’t know jack about developmental psychology or parenting.
Listen, I have two degrees. The first is a B.S. in Psychology with a Neuroscience emphasis, and the other is a B.A. in Cognitive Science. And anecdotally, I also have two children. I only state that so we can skip past all the talk of “bigotry”, and “stupid and annoying” generalizations. It doesn’t matter that we can’t compare to children 50 years ago, if we acknowledge that “x” has an impact on children and that “y%” of children are exposed to “x”, isn’t the outcome the same?
For fucks sake, it takes a psychologist to be a pedant idiot on the internet against another psych. I also have a Bachelors in psychology and a Master in sociology. And as my doctorate tutor likes to say during debates when people throw credentials around as if they mean something to basic facts and science, “do you have an argument or are you just interested in comparing dick sizes?”
The whole “don’t say ‘no’ to your child“ …we’re gonna have a whole generation who won’t understand what nonconsent is. In a literal way too.
I do not understand these people who think boundaries break others. It’s massively flawed and problematic to train humans like this. It’s sabotaging their kids into being abusers and thinking they are above being kind.
We all have choices to be assholes. To be an asshole is a choice. Don’t make it their only option.
I can’t understand how such an obviously stupid approach to rasing kids even got off the ground to the point of general awareness. Any intelligent adult should be able to see how learning to take a “no” is an essential part of growing up. Same with dealing with negative emotions in general, which I understand the whole “never say no” thing is trying to avoid.
My daughter was taught how to take a no at a young age. It was a bit rough the first few times, but she quickly learned to take them in stride.
I have come to understand that the whole “don’t say no” thing is less about directly saying no and leaving it at that and more about taking the time to explain things to your child.
When it comes to new situations for things that I haven’t yet encountered I don’t just say no. I sit down with them and explain to them why.
Yes there are times when I will just say no, like when they know what the answer is going to be and understand why but are just doing it to do it, or if there isn’t time in that specific moment to explain I would preface it with that and then explain it later.
I think people misinterpret the whole don’t say no thing sometimes and literally just give their kids whatever they want which is obviously not good. Boundaries are not optional, and like you mention it is a flawed way of thinking and will absolutely lead to problems down the road.
Yes that makes sense. And yeah bad parents have done some damage with that, especially the boundary thing is important.
some people are allowed to not have all the answers, they just know that ‘no’ is their answer(especially important in where sex turns into rape and power positions).
Where I’m going with this: Abusers will try to gain a ‘why’ just to erode the reason for the ‘no’ as a way to coerce a no into a yes. These particular situations is where ‘no is a complete sentence’ is taught as a perfectly appropriate response.
There is essentially universal agreement in the field of child psychology that “beating” your child is the wrong approach.
I’ve yet to meet a parent that completely ignores their child in a public venue. In many cultures children are considered to be a part of society / community and so they are given some autonomy to discover the world with their peers. Hyper individualistic Western society is really the odd one out here and Western cultures are the only ones where I’ve seen this take expressed openly. Conclude from that what you will.
I have many times seen parents ignoring their child’s behaviour in public, pretty much every time I go shopping.
That’s incredible, there may be some regional variation at play here.
I mostly agree except for the initial phase of teaching a kid to listen and control themselves. The part of the brain that forces them to sit still and focus doesn’t really develop imo without some fear. I wouldn’t at all advocate for beating your child, but when they are young a little spank sometimes that isn’t that bad seems scary as hell to them. It’s very effective to get them to learn to listen, to stop running around, that sort of thing. After you get past that point you can talk to them, it’s much easier. Also you have to talk to them afterwards so they know you aren’t being mean, but need them to learn to control themselves and not let their emotions take over all the time. If you do it well, you won’t have to do it but a few times. Not intensity, but as little as possible, just so they know that they can’t get away with it. A kid has almost unlimited energy to fight and yell. It’s not good for you, and it’s not good for them. It’s not really normal for an animal to never have any fear. The brain isn’t supposed to work that way. Yet also it’s not good to abuse them obviously. Some people are kind of bad parents and they will use that as an excuse to avoid doing what they should for their kids, like cooking healthy food and stuff. When kids arent eating well or are trapped inside all day they also get restless. That is not the time to be spanking. The one time where spanking is appropriate is simply to make them realize that they can’t just ignore you and walk on you, and that they have to actually talk with you when you are serious. Talking is the part where they learn. They should just learn fear. This will make them depressive and lazy and resentful and psychotic.
This is an area with a ton of debate and I appreciate your insights. I was on the receiving end of corporal punishment growing up and have chosen not continue that cycle. That doesn’t mean that my child will grow up without consequences, which is I think what most posters are frustrated with here.
According to the World Health Organization:
Evidence shows corporal punishment harms children’s physical and mental health, increases behavioural problems over time, and has no positive outcomes.
All corporal punishment, however mild or light, carries an inbuilt risk of escalation. Studies suggest that parents who used corporal punishment are at heightened risk of perpetrating severe maltreatment
Corporal punishment is linked to a range of negative outcomes for children across countries and cultures, including physical and mental ill-health, impaired cognitive and socio-emotional development, poor educational outcomes, increased aggression and perpetration of violence.
There is also evidence that fear based parenting can lead to anxiety, depression, behavioral problems, and poor self-esteem and sows mistrust and emotional distance between parent and child. I can personally attest to experiencing quite a few of these in relation to corporal punishment.
Now it sounds like you are using fear judiciously and to each their own. But I am determined to find another way, while also making consequences as clear as possible. Age 1 to 3 is difficult for everyone since the child is mobile and exploratory but has very little reasoning capabilities.
I am similar, I grew up with a great deal of that and I barely ever use it for my kids. I actually have a fair bit of trauma and PTSD because my father was an alcoholic and very mean. I never use it anymore I did a little when they were toddlers to get them to do stuff like not pee in the bed, to not leave trash laying around, to not be disrespectful. I had a severe concussion when I was raising them in that phase and I couldn’t handle the yelling because it would trigger massive migraines. I understand most people who use it do ruin their kids with it, and most people who use it are really trashy parents who are arrogant and have bad morality, but really the point in trying to make is that it’s very healthy for a kid to learn how to deal with the emotion of fear and to experience it a bit. This is something the modern world doesn’t realize as much. It helps them to focus. It’s a very narrow window of course. Fear is a strong work and don’t want you to think that I mean your kid should be terrified of you, but they should learn to have respect to feel a bit of consequences to get past that basic part where their higher mind can take control. Their fear needs to be able to calm their mind. I think of it as two pillars that lean against each other creating an arch, your positive and negative emotions. That is a really complicated way of saying, the only thing spanking is good for, is to teach a kid to stop, think, and listen, anything beyond that is abuse imo. You really need to talk to them and explain, not just preach, but back and forth about why something is right or wrong. Tell them about your life and what you have to deal with. Ask them what they think. Ask them how they feel about it. Let them be honest, let them have autonomy where you can. Being safe and respectful is important but beyond that you don’t own your child and your child doesn’t need to be molded by you as a parent. They need to bloom into their own type of flower. That is what actually makes them a highly motivated person.
It works good for me because I completely support my kids autonomy. I want them to have their own style, their own desires, their own preferences, I want them to be themselves. I don’t police their sexuality or what video games or movies they can watch. What clothes they can buy. I do forbid them from some things of course. Hanging out with people who do drugs is one example. I will talk to them about these things in an adult fashion. I will challenge them and ask them questions about why they are doing something, and ask them to tell me how it makes people around them feel, how it makes them feel. It’s not that they should live their life to please other people, not at all, but to be aware of how their actions affect others. To be aware of other people’s pain and limitations. Talk is best, a respectful adult conversation as equals. A conversation as a friend.
You never want to use physical punishment anymore then you have to, because your child will come to see the world through the lens of a victim. They will never really develop an ability to take pride in themselves and stand up for themselves and to chase their own dreams. Survival becomes their only true friend when they learn to hide themselves from the world.
I’d like to thank you again for your insights. It sounds like you exercise a lot of self control and have thought about this meticulously which unfortunately many parents do not. I agree that theres value in children experiencing and understanding fear in a controlled environment.
Ultimately I do want them to experience and better understand fear though I certainly don’t want them to fear me. I’m still hoping I can impart those lessons without threatening their bodily autonomy since it is personally a hard line for me (just from personal experiences and the psychological issues it caused). But time will tell, mine have yet to enter the stage of chaos and irrationality known as toddlerhood haha.
Fair enough, you sound like a good one anyways. Best of luck
There is not a single ounce of anything scientific provable in what you are saying. You are making shit up to justify hitting your children. That’s really it.
I mostly agree except for the initial phase of teaching a kid to listen and control themselves.
When would that be? It is a learning process for children to control themselves. Some grown ups haven’t mastered it.
The part of the brain that forces them to sit still and focus doesn’t really develop imo without some fear.
This is the core piece of your little theory, right? I challenge you to give me any reputable source, be it from a psychological or pedagogical paper. Just one. To the best of my knowledge, not a single developmental theory backs this up.
I wouldn’t at all advocate for beating your child, but when they are young a little spank sometimes that isn’t that bad seems scary as hell to them.
In other words, you are advocating for beating children. You have no idea how “a little spank” feels for your child. If they are scared about it afterwards it’s a little bit hypocritical to assume that it was not “that bad”.
It’s very effective to get them to learn to listen, to stop running around, that sort of thing. After you get past that point you can talk to them, it’s much easier.
“My child was running around and wouldn’t listen, so i spanked it.” Are you sure there are no other avenues available to get your child to listen?
Also you have to talk to them afterwards so they know you aren’t being mean
You just beat a person that has no way of protectong themselves against somebody much stronger and that they rely on for savty and security. That is mean. Even if you managed to convonce yourself that it’s not. It realy is.
but need them to learn to control themselves and not let their emotions take over all the time.
THEY ARE CHILDREN! Children have to learn to controll emotions. It’s part of growing up. The way to support them is to help them undersuand their emotions and giving them tools to deal with them. Don’t expect it to work imedeatly, it’s a process. Spanking them will teach them to suppress and bottle their emotion, because the single person they rely on for safety is hitting them if they don’t. You are not teaching your children to deal with emotions in a healty manor.
A few weeks ago my wife and I were getting breakfast at a local bakery. Inside, a dad had decided that it did not matter that his small child was running around, screaming at the top of his lungs. The little gremlin started trying to steal pastries off other people’s tables and dad stiff didn’t do anything until the staff announced loudly that all unattended children would be reported to CPS.
That kid didn’t need a beating, but that dad sure did.
Agreed, that’s unacceptable.
Look, with parents you never know what they just went through. Maybe they didn’t get any sleep or whatever. A different approach would have been for someone to start playing with the kid
If you’re a parent, you are the problem. It’s not strangers’ jobs to parent your kids. If you can’t keep them from bothering other people do not take them to places with other people. It’s not socially acceptable for me to kick your kid, so don’t put me in a position where that starts seeming like a good idea.
If you can’t keep them from bothering other people do not take them to places with other people.
Kids will always bother those around them. They cry, they can’t understand or follow social cues etc. But they’re people and imo they have the right to exist in public places.
In Berlin neighbors sue schools all the time for noise pollution, for being too noisy. Like wtf
Kids keeping parents from sleeping —> no bakery trip or 1 parent goes/1 parent keeps the kids at home. That‘s the appropriate response to that.
That does happen in other more child friendly cultures. Its just not a priority in Western culture. Children are very much seen as an impediment to productivity rather than an investment in the future. Its a consequence of capitalistic and individualistic ideals, for better or for worse.
I personally resonate with the song Eat Your Young by Hozier. It’s an indictment on all modern culture but I feel Western culture especially. The overall message being that (in my interpretation) when we focus on productivity instead of sustainability we sell out future generations.
Although I agree with the sentiment, I would NEVER expect anybody to entertain my kids. I would just pack them up and gone home. My kids are my burden to bear.
Very simple: Don’t have children, and the population will collapse until people have time to parent again.
That’s not how that works. Also people never had time to parent. They probably have more time now. Older generations were just sent out on the streets to play in the morning or after school and had to be back for dinner.
Both my parents and me are working, we still can’t get a net positive out in a month. My brother is basically neglected
That’s fucked. How many square meters of living space do you 4 have? You’re in the US I assume? Since basically everywhere else you would be better off
Serbia actually. Please nuke us, we have oil.
Fuck*ss child? President Trump and friends would like to know where you’re hanging out.
