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“She fucked so many guys”
Uh…okay?
That’s how you know its full of incel energy.
I think they’re trying to say that he doesn’t even feel like her backup, he’s her backup x times removed. Which kinda undercuts his point a bit, but does set the stage for a complete removal of attraction and the very particular manic ending they wrote for their story
Why are you being charitable to a greentext poster lmfao. It’s like when the skinhead starts saying dogwhistles and someone is like “well maybe he doesn’t know it’s a dog whistle”.
Idk man, maybe you’ve not been exposed to enough 4chan.
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??? 😭 we just out here defending incel-adjacent language being used on 4chan?
This video I feel explains why
sure, let’s just assume malice or ill intent whenever possible, and forget about any empathy or sympathy.
Bro. We are talking about a 4chan greentext poster. What more do you want me to fucking say? Are you joking?
i’m just tired of internet toxicity tbh. Not as in “Oh no, they laugh about Kirk’s assasination”, mind you, that shit is actually hillarious, neither i care about anyone’s political oriantation as long as they’re a decent human being. I’m talking about this unprompted toxic bullshit like “oh, they’re using this site, they must be a jerk!”. That’s literally the same rhetoric that politicians use to create “us vs them” narrative, except they do it on another basis like nationality or whatever.
Did your day go so wrong that you need to let it all out somehow, but this is the only way you found? Genuinely asking btw
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I’m not defending anyone. This story being made up is entirely possible. What I’m bothered by, and what i don’t want to let slide is the fact that people just assume malice from a person simply because they made a post on a certain website and not the on the other one around. It’s a scary tendency that, if extrapolated, makes internet into a place full of tribalism and hostility.
Also, you gotta explain to me, how the post is an example of toxic masculinity, and exactly what archetype do i defend from your point of view.
btw, just so you know, thanks to some particularily heated instances over here, i’ve seen people with opinion just like yours but about the fediverse.
Let’s not act like 4chan has ever been anything but a infamous shithole that attracts shitheads. It has the worst possible reputation: it doesn’t attract good people. Sorry. You sound delightful, tho, all your pettiness and pretentiousness aside.
Incredibly toxic post btw.
There’s something insulting about being the one she wants to settle down with after a bunch of flings etc.
When’s my turn to have fun?
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What’s toxic about wanting better than being the backup option?
The toxicity is the weird incel framing around the whole thing. It leans heavily into incel tropes about how women sleep around with physically attractive asshole men when younger and then look for a more stable “nice guy” men when older. The trope is that women will reproduce with asshole gym bro types and then seek relationships with nerds to obtain resources to raise the children they’ve given birth to. It’s the classic cuckhold meme.
The “backup option” part is the toxic thing. It frames women as farm animals looking for a mate, rather than actual complex human beings with different desires and changing personalities through their whole lives. Aka, just like men. People change, and they want different things at different points in their life.
It’s not that the woman in the story fucked a bunch of guys and then, as a last resort, settled for OP. I mean, just think of how absurd that idea is. It is literally not possible to run out of people to sleep with. They don’t think OP is beneath them and have always felt that way, only settling for them now. Why would she need to? There’s no shortage of other men out there if she thinks OP is beneath her.
Rather, people just want different things at different points in their lives. OP didn’t tick that box years earlier, but now maybe he does. She wasn’t attracted to him then, but she is now. The heart just works that way sometimes. There’s no need to add a bunch of incel bullshit to what is easily explainable as the complexities of human emotion.
The reason this is so toxic is that it’s applying this weird bizarre manipulative behavior to the woman in the story - aka parroting incel themes. It accuses her of this deliberate years-long plot, working through a long list of men she finds superior until finally settling for OP. This isn’t how human beings actually behave. Instead, she just happened to not be attracted to OP before, but happens to be now. You don’t need to go into it any deeper than that. People are complex and their hearts change.
This “backup option” framing is just really toxic and creepy.
Nothing at all, but that last line, “When is my turn to have fun?” Is a bit transactional, like there’s an expectation and that’s the problematic part.
like there’s an expectation
you can have expectations from relationships. you don’t have to, and not every relationship has them, but it’s perfectly fine to have them, as long as the other person’s fine with that.
From yes. Of no.
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Anon grows and changes in a 5 year span, and his romantic interests change.
Girls opinion on romance is different in 5 years.
“I don’t want to be the backup.”
Men can grow and change over 5 years. Women? Nah. She just wanted to fuck around and now she’s settling.
This train of thought is some terminally online shit. Then again, complaining that green text is some terminally online shit is insane in its own account.
And that was added by ilovethebomb
I think the toxic part is what was added by ilovethebomb. They never asked this and seemed to have genuinely moved on.
Who was stopping you?
Nobody wanted to have fun with me.
Do you feel like you were owed “fun” from other people?
Then go to a tabletop game shop and have fun on D&D night, or Warhammer! Lots of fun there
They were stopping themselves
It be true, I do stop myself
Interesting intel fanfic.
I usually prefer AMD but I found it interesting too.
Anon got over their crush and got on with their life, nothing wrong with that at all.
Besides, it sounds like they’re about option J here, and it’s perfectly okay to not be happy about that.
I don’t think I can blame Anon. “Should we try it out?” isn’t exactly stirring my passions, either.
Under the circumstances, it sounds like “you’re my least terrible option left, so maybe I can settle for you. On a trial basis, of course.” Uh, no thanks.
Bold of you to think anons story is real and straight
If by “straight” you mean heterosexual and you’re doubting the story is heterosexual, read it again. There are pronouns in there. This is a heterosexual story.
This is a heterosexual story.
Still gay though.
NOOOOOOOOO!!! I NEED IT TO FIT IN THE PREDETERMINED BOX I HAVE SETUP FOR THIS GREENTEXT!!! IT HAS TO BE GAY BECAUSE I SAID SOOO!!!
I had no problem taking this innocent heartfelt greentext post at face value, but would you agree, the comments have been aneurysm-inducing.
Maybe. Idk, I mostly read the comments just to get some perspective from other people so I can enrich myself and be a better person.
It does get annoying though when that is interrupted by the fake/gay joke comments tho.
This is a pretty niche community (Lemmy) without a whole lot of variety. If you’re trying to get some other perspectives, there are a lot of better options in real life.
Maybe he enjoys hearing perspectives from basement-dwellingneckbeards & incels 😏
Is this your first green text?
It’s more fun to play along, and unless I’m missing something, I kept it gender neutral.
Anon is on the internet. No girls there.
Anon had a girl interested in fucking him: fake.
Anon turned down a girl that wanted to fuck him: gay.
Yep. I’ve run out of ideas, I’ll try settling with a heavy “maybe”. That’ll really make you feel like a potential partner values you.
Under the circumstances, it sounds like “you’re my least terrible option left, so maybe I can settle for you. On a trial basis, of course.” Uh, no thanks.
I think it’s more like “oh shit, lots of men are suddenly turning right-wing, and i’m getting afraid of them now, so please anon, protect me. i’m not actually into you, of course (who could be into you?) but at least you’re harmless.”
Most women’s social circles will not see men make any significant rightward shift in political opinion. Most peoples’ political opinions are fairly stable over time, and change slowly. Most people naturally spend time with people with similar political opinions. And if someone finds that they have significantly different political opinions than their peers, they will almost certainly keep it to themselves.
Right wing political spaces have a negative corrolation with female participation. The farther right a space is, the fewer women we expect to see there. And to the extent that there is a large rightward shift in men’s political positions, it is driven primarily by men who already leaned right. More left-leaning men, if they move right at all, would move right very minimally. The aggregate of minimal moves to the right across the bell curve would be noticeable at a statistical level, but would not be noticeable in most people’s actual social lives. Significant moves to the right would only be seen on the right wing side of the bell curve.
So if we accept your hypothesis, then we could also conclude that OP’s love interest is already involved in significanly right-wing spaces.
But the alternative conclusion, assuming your hypothesis is correct, is that OP’s love interest if more moderate/left wing (most women), but is chronically online and hears about men becoming more right wing.
Dating apps mix the social circles pretty significantly so it can also easily be a case of going on dates with randoms and seeing the shift that way.
Right wing political spaces have a negative corrolation with female participation.
yeah, that’s an interesting observation, which makes you wonder what is cause and what is consequence.
So if we accept your hypothesis, then we could also conclude that OP’s love interest is already involved in significanly right-wing spaces.
Yeah, that’s a likely outcome i guess. Girl falls for “strong” men in the past, suddenly realizes they’re all right-wing and potentially dangerous, suddenly tries to find a non-dangerous partner, or sth like that.
Sadly possible, but also a huge insult.
“She fucked too many guys”
Waaaaaahhh oh no my partner is good at sex, oh woe is me.
I’ve never slept with anyone with a single digit body count that wasn’t fucking awful in the sack.
My wife was a huge slut. She’s great at sex. Sex is fun!
It’s definitely dated now, but Robin Williams’ joke about Islamic suicide bombers getting to heaven and being met with 72 virgins was what made me realize that society had it all wrong about promiscuity.
“And now for my talent portion…”
Don’t get me wrong, it’s an unfair generalization to say that virgins/less experienced are uniformly bad at sex (some people just ‘get it’), but it’s generally more accurate that practice makes perfect. (Or maybe that those who have more of an aptitude and interest ‘practice’ more… same result, either way.)
Case in point. Sluts are the best.
Forgot to mention that I was a slut in college, too! Woooo
so spacenoodle’s noodle has been in various spaces?
SpaceNoodle’s noodle has even been inside The Space Needle
Accurate
ow
Heh
It’s more like he was her last choice and she outright told him that.
Eh, context. If it’s meant without protection, it’s a very different story. STDs are still a thing.
I said slutty not stupid.
Being one doesn’t exclude the other tho
Woe
So many red flags…it’s a minefield.
manfield
Anon needs to count their lucky stars and get on with life.
Fake: anon has a female friend
Gay: anon isn’t interested in her
These stories are even more real and true than the real and true stories on r/aita. OP just forgot the part where the crying bald eagle stood up and clapped at the end
This particular fantasy (one day I’ll get to reject the women who rejected me first and they’d never be able to handle it as gracefully as I did) seems somewhat common among young men who have trouble connecting with women.
But the false premise at the center of it is that the man is such a good friend to the woman, and the woman’s dating/romantic life hasn’t found anyone nearly as understanding or kind or empathetic. And part of that belief is some kind of assumption that life is an RPG where everyone is allotted the same number of points to distribute, and anyone who is maxed on charisma must be less intelligent or empathetic or something.
Realistically, men who are friends with women tend to do better with dating and relationships than men who aren’t close to women. The friends of friends angle is a great pipeline for searching for partners, assuming your personality makes your friends comfortable connecting you with their friends.
Thanks for this reply. Being GenX isn’t the bed of roses some folks believe it is. I find myself reading more physical books these days than I ever before. Kind of just to take it all in at less than a blur. It’s all whipping by at breakneck speed.
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I honestly think it’s embarrassing and childish to get upset at somebody and immediately go, “Yeah well you fucked so many men!”
That’s in your head. Seems like you can’t see a reality where the girl is at fault. Misandrist much?
He got over his crush and got on with his life. There’s nothing evil about that.
Turns out, being rejected by someone you’re in love with actually sucks, and that goes double if you were friends with them. Sure you can try and stay friends with them after, but whether that works depends a lot on your state of mind/mental health, the rest of your social circle and the state of your life in general (and on how the rejecter/friend acts, of course). Your average 4chan poster is spectacularly ill-equipped to make it actually work well, even if they somehow aren’t somewhat misogynistic.
At the same time, just keeping it to yourself is probably not a good option either, if you’re not the type who can actually move on after a while (e.g. by crushing on someone else).
Yep.
Something quite similar happened to me in my twenties. We had a pretty close-knit group of friends in university and in the second year one of the girls started to show signs of romantic interest in me. I was oblivious, of course, so my friends had to point it out for me. I was single and quite unexperienced with dating, so I thought “what the hell, why not?” So we ended up dating and I was starting to slowly fall for her.
Then we went to this student party together and we hung out with people as always. I went for a swim in the pool and when I came back, she came to me, looking extremely happy and said that she had just met this amazing guy and wanted to try things out with him. I stood silent for a few seconds and said “OK, it’s cool with me” . She smiled and ran off to her new man.
I got dressed, finished my beer and walked home. It was a long walk, but instead of disappointment and sadness I remember feeling immense relief, as I had just learned what “dodging a bullet” truly meant.
She and the new guy dated for maybe a year, before she lost interest in him - he really was a great guy, right at the start of their relationship he wanted to talk with me and he was genuinely sorry for “stealing my girl”. I assured him that I held no grudge and we became friends after she dumped him.
During their dating she quickly drifted out of our circle of friends by her own choice, so I got to keep things pretty much like they were before. I was always friendly towards her when we met and she did likewise. My friends were surprised that I wasn’t angry at her, but I told them that this was for the best and that I was happy how things had turned out.
Next year I found a wonderful girlfriend and I was happy. Few years later I happened to meet this “ex” of mine in a work-related seminar. When the seminar ended, I walked to the bus stop and saw her standing there. Turned out that we lived along the same bus route. Then she suddenly said “wouldn’t it be nice if you came home with me?” Like, WTF? She knew very well that I had been in a steady relationship for years and she had even met my girlfriend a few times.
She looked at me seductively and said “so, how about it?”. I’d known that she wasn’t stable, but at that moment I realized how truly fucked up she really was. “No, that’s not going to happen now or ever”, I said and walked away.
That was the last time I saw her. Few years ago I heard that she had been married twice or thrice before she was 40, and was single again.
Yeah I super get this. Back at the height of the whole “friend zone” thing I had been hanging out with a friend one on one very regularly and began crushing on her, asked her out at some point, she said she needed to focus on other things. A semester or two later, I asked if that had changed due to different circumstances in her life and she gave me a more direct no. She was pretty integrated into my friend group and my feelings were pretty badly hurt because we had been very close. Friends in that group would go on to ask why I’d never asked her out, under the assumption she was interested, and when I did eventually start dating someone else she tried to “talk me up” to that girl in a way that felt like sabotage to me. It’s hard to balance those feelings while remaining friends with someone. I was definitely at risk for falling down an incel hole around that time. Glad I didn’t
I’m also glad you didn’t fall down the incel hole, because then it’s likely that we wouldn’t have you here with us
That happened. And then everybody clapped.
Actually this kind of thing happens often enough. The exact words vary, but if people live in low population locations, wait a decade and you’ll be surprised at who gets together.
Ya, I’m coming up on my 40s in a smallish city. This not only seems plausible, I’ve seen it (a less dramatic version anyway) play out a few times.
I mean it’s greentext. That part is always implied.
Who upvotes these phony MRA tales? Give me an effing break.
Do you know what a greentext is?
They’re not complaining about the greentext they’re complaining about the lemmittors? lemmings? that upvoted the post despite it not being funny or interesting
community dedicated to fake content upvotes fake content :O
How is this related to MRA?
“I think you are the only man I can trust, should we try it out?”
Things that were never said for $2000, Alex
