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You don’t conjure cockroaches into existence by shining the light on them.
“I am simply saying that because I care about you.”
“You cannot take it literally, you know what I mean”
“Stop pretending to be hurt and think it through”
“Stop looking for excuses and instead admit I’m right”
That last one isn’t one they would say verbatim, but it IS the spirit of all the other ones you listed that they would say.
They will say “You misunderstood me. I really meant what I said but you misunderstood if that means I’m a bad person”
