This leash demeans us both
Excuse me what the fuck? A human being on a leash like a dog?
What is this, how to destroy a child’s dignity with one weird trick?
It’s usually for the kid’s safety. Little kids especially run off sometimes; and while it’d be nice to be able to be a continuously attentive parent, sometimes you need to get shit done out and about while they’re with you. Sometimes they’re fine with just being carried or sitting in a shopping cart, but if not, a leash & harness (usually just integrated into a backpack) lets them wander safely while you take care of what you’re there to do.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kid older than 4 or so in one.
Some of you are so desperately alone and this post shows why.
I saw a gif around here some time ago. A woman was walking with their kids. When the walked passed a car ready to unpark the kid ducked in front of it. No warning, no logic, just suicide attempt.
So many people on this thread are defending leashes, yet they don’t exist anywhere but in the US, so…
I have never ever seen a kid leash in Denmark or any country I have visited, and yet kids here don’t run around in stores acting out or disappearing.
I don’t know, they seem dehumanizing and humiliating to me. If other countries can raise kids (incl kids on the spectrum) withiur them why can’t the US?
My grandma was a disabled stay-at-home mom with a hyperactive daughter who tended to run away and wreak havoc, and all the police would soon know who to return her to. Grandma was scolded by neighbors for using a leash but able to explain herself. This was in 1970s Czechoslovakia.
I’m not even from US (Asian) and i see them in my country from time to time, especially in mall. Why would you find it dehumanising when it’s merely something that tied to each other wrist? It’s not even tied to a neck or something, it’s just handholding with extra length. It sounds crazy to me that people actually dehumanising it then call it dehumanising.
I am not referring to a string you hold, I am referring to a leash like this:
I find them dehumanizing and humiliating because they remind me of a dog leash. Look, people parent differently across the world, I remember a British-Indian comedian who was married to a Dane who said that every parenting practice she regarded as healthy and appropriate was basically illegal in Denmark.
The leash will never not be weird to me, but it is what it is. I don’t think everyone who uses a leash is literally going to treat their kid like a dog, I know they probably love and cherish their kids like I cherish mine, but the fact remains that it feels off to me and I’d say most other people from my neck of the woods.
They weren’t uncommon in the US in the '90s, they fell out of favor soon after. Even back then they weren’t popular.
In the '80s and earlier, corporal punishment was regular and expected. There was a push in the '90s to stop the corporal punishment. A lot of parents stopped handing out corporal punishment but failed to replace it with any form of discipline. It was not an uncommon to see kids tearing things off shelves yelling at and smacking their parents while their parents were going “now Jimmy, We don’t do that” shrinking at parents walking by saying their kids, what are you going to do?;The little backpacks with the leashes were a symptom of failed parenting. If you grew up in this time in a very conservative area you might not have experienced this yourself, as giving timeouts, redirecting, and not beating your kids as a relatively progressive ideal and when it started it was actively disparaged by conservatives.
In the '80s and earlier, corporal punishment was regular and expected. There was a push in the '90s to stop the corporal punishment.
Corporeal punishment was outlawed in Denmark by 1997, but was definitely frowned upon much earlier than that. My grandparent’s generation - born in the 1920s and 1930s - was likely the last generation where it was commonly used.
I mean, our kids can be little brats as well - and our kids are also prone to run off and do dumb stuff, but apparently we handle it differently. And I am fairly certain that my initial reaction - that it’s dehumanizing and humiliating - is how it comes off to almost all Nordic parents.
No, I’m explaining the timing. We went from it being acceptable to not doing it in a very short period of time. Delicious came out because parents couldn’t work out any way to control their kids but a physical means.
I’m well aware that Nordic countries treat their kids with a lot more dignity and freedom than the rest of the world, some might even say to their own detriment.
One of my co-workers expatriated to Sweden for a few years. There were tweens just hopping on the bus and going to the museum miles away. But I get the feeling that one could trust the average Swede would prevent harm to a child from a pedophile.
Leashes in the US were a symptom of a brisk change in society with relatively little information on how to perform it. They definitely existed.
One of my co-workers expatriated to Sweden for a few years. There were tweens just hopping on the bus and going to the museum miles away. But I get the feeling that one could trust the average Swede would prevent harm to a child from a pedophile.
In contrast to what many people think, Nordic people are fairly strict with what kids are allowed to do when they are small. We spend a lot of time and effort to ensure that kids are well behaved and can be trusted and don’t act out when they are small, and then, gradually, they are allowed more freedom as they grow older. By the time they’re young teenagers we generally feel like they’ve demonstrated that they can be trusted and they are often allowed to bike or take the bus around town and live with a lot more freedom.
Maybe you’re thinking “Duh, that’s how everyone does it!”, but the reason I mention it is that I’ve experienced that many cultures do it differenty; when the kids are young they are allowed a lot of freedom and very little responsibility, then as they grow older their parents will restrict them more and more. It’s pretty much the opposite of the Nordic approach.
We’re veering off course (or I am, at least), but I find the differences in parenting across cultures very fascinating.
One commenter said that the leashes are for safe toddler independence, not control, and I guess I can see that. It makes sense, even if it would be cultural taboo in my part of the world.
I’m 53 and have seen them used on different continents. My mom used one on me in Europe when we visited when I was two years old. You are completely wrong on all fronts with your comment. Have a good day.
Your American mum bringing a leash over and using it on you somewhere in Europe 51 years ago hardly makes me wrong on all fronts.
Funny you would assume I’m American. You are still wrong on all fronts.
Lemmy, like reddit, skews American and you’re referring to Europe as well, Europe, which tells me you’re not European. You’re welcome to correct me, of course.
Even if you’ve seen leashes on all continents, they’re definitely super rare and not common now. If you decide to be informative instead of assertive you are welcome to educate me on your experiences and expand on which fronts exactly I am wrong and why.
I see no need to waste my time explaining anything to a closed-minded person. Good day.
Thank you for not contributing with anything meaningful to the conversation, I guess!
They used to be quite common in the UK back in the 80s. Stops kids running into busy roads, and you can also use it to hold up an unsteady toddler.
Obviously you don’t use them on like eight year olds.
You don’t see them much any more.
I’ve seen it once in Denmark actually. But it was a severely mentally challenged kid on a train station where the parents had them in a leash. Looked weird when you’re not used to it, but I guess I can understand that one use case.
I’ve seen one that basically is a top with a string coming from the back. I get it, kids are stupid and distractible
My guess is that the American working system has drained so much from their working population that leashes are required because they have no energy left to pay full attention to their children.
That, and streets are deadly hellscapes over there a lot of the time. Driving laws are barely enforced and infrastructure is almost like it’s intended to kill anyone who dares to exist outside a car.
The most common way children under 4 are hit by cars is not on the street but in driveways followed by parking lots.
Out of 75 million kids 200 per year are killed by vehicles. This is roughly on par, albeit slightly higher than top EU countries.
People rightfully look at you like you’re stupid when you make these statements that have nothing to do with reality. Get off the internet.
Child Pedestrian Fatalities per Million Children (under 15)
Country / Region Est. Fatalities/Year Child Pop. (0–14) Fatalities per Million
United States ~225 ~61 million ~3.7 United Kingdom ~22 ~11.5 million ~1.9 Canada ~12 ~6 million ~2.0 Australia ~11 ~4.8 million ~2.3 Germany ~20 ~11 million ~1.8 France ~18 ~11 million ~1.6 Japan ~18 ~15 million ~1.2 India ~3,000 (est.) ~360 million ~8.3 Brazil ~450 ~50 million ~9.0 European Union (EU-27) ~140–160 ~72 million ~2.0
Total EU child population (0–14): ~72 million
Result: ~2.1 deaths per million children
I’m not saying more kids die in traffic over there. I’m saying people have to be, and are, way more careful to keep their kids away from traffic.
I can’t ever remember seeing a kid wearing them here in the UK but my grandma once said she used “reins” on my dad and his siblings which would have been from late 1960s to late 1970s.
Me and my sister definitely had them in the early 80s. Kids are stupid, and the alternative is you strap them in a buggy if they can’t be trusted to walk.
Toddlers reins are super useful if they don’t want to go in a push chair and won’t hold hands.
They are for toddlers freedom, not control.
Yea, I don’t get it. Reading this thread, the people seem insane to me. Yet they are all 100% up arrows.
It’s fuckin wild. I used to manage a toys department in an American burger big box store in a small town so I saw some shit. It’s either parents with kids on leashes or threatening them or hitting them in the aisle, my fellow Americans often treat their kids like shit, the image of the overindulgent parent isn’t really what you see around. Kids get treated like this and grow up to be adults who don’t break the cycle.
There are kids with behavioural issues or kids on the spectrum, it doesn’t mean they or the parents are bad people. I never agreed with the kid leash and still don’t use it but after 3 years with an autistic toddler, I don’t blame anyone for using them. Would you rather that child be running lose or running circles around you? Don’t criticize people’s parenting, especially if you don’t know their situation or have never raised a special needs child.
It gave us a little peace of mind when our autistic child was a toddler. He had just started eloping and he was very fast and very sneaky. Holding his hand wasn’t always feasible and we wanted to encourage some freedom and independence so a backpack with a tether was a good option, especially in crowded areas. He was free to explore something if it interested him but the gentle tug gave him enough physical feedback to understand that he needed to stay close to us. Now that he’s older we can just verbally remind him to stay close if he starts wandering off.
ITT: people who doesn’t have kids, doesn’t interact with kids, or doesn’t have to raise a particularly difficult kids, talks about raising kids.
OOP sounds like an insufferable person tbh.
As a parent of a special needs child we currently leash when attending large events (he is a flight risk) I would laugh so hard if someone asked me if he’s a rescue
I saw this disturbingly often when I worked retail, like maybe once a month? too often. Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s a surefire way to make the adult the kid grows up into a puppyboy/girl/enby. I just don’t see how it could ever not. I think this started with gen z actually, I saw a kid or two when I was younger with leashes on. Would love to see if this has been studied at all.
They’ve been around since at least the 80s. Probably earlier.
Probably went away and made a comeback. I came out in '92 and didn’t see a leash kid until around 2010. Then suddenly, leash kids everywhere.
Nope. Your observations are simply not representative of the reality.
This is a delusional take.
We tried that with my son. Nothing worked. We could zip tie the closures and he would be out of it in minutes. He was a runner from age three to around seven years old. The school was happy when he wanted boot and we bought him some woody boots. He couldn’t run as fast. OP there is a POS. He hasn’t lived it and lacks the empathy to understand.
I’m all in favor of using unconventional methods for health and safety, but really outside of a few special cases like improving blood-flow in reattached limbs or other body parts, I’m not sure why we’re trying to put leaches on children, it seems like a bad idea, but I guess if you just keep leaches as pets and don’t have another blood source for them, maybe just ask your kids first. Smh.
“This leash demeans us both”
“This leash isn’t for their protection, it is for your protection”
I watched as our little, barely walking toddler walked away from us in a busy department store. I followed behind, hiding behind racks, to see if he would get scared and turn around. Nope. Did not turn once. Just waddled away. I had to race and grab him from behind once he stepped onto the escalator.
It was then that I really understood the need for those leashes. Had a talk with the wife and we decided against it, but it was close.
🤣🤣🤣
I’m sure it was very real moment for you. I hope, therefore, that it wasn’t too cruel of me to laugh very loudly at the whole situation. Kids are… Special.
People are alluding to it, but not attributing the blame correctly: the “need” to leash kids is yet another negative consequence of car-dependent urban design.
The fuck are you on about? Have you never had a kid disappear on you in a mall? There’s no cars there
Multiple people in the thread are talking about using them because of worries about a kid running out into traffic.
Quit pretending that a statement has to apply 100% of the time in every possible circumstance in order to be generally true.
It was a disconnected and incoherent thought, but I’ll give it a pass because in America we really do seem to be doing everything possible to make our neighborhoods as lethal as possible.
As for leaches on children, I guess it’s they’re used in some medical cases like reattached limbs that need blood-flow, but leaches are kind of gross and don’t serve much good besides those few examples, so I don’t know why we’re trying to use them again on children in particular.
I remember being on one of those. They were fairly common in the 80s. I also deserved it because I was a little shit that would sprint away at the first opportunity in the grocery store.
I was a leash kid
Ah, that explains it…
Me too. And my son.
Tell us about how it molded your personality
The leash was fine.
The choke chain really had an effect though.
I’m more curious if they have a leash for the bedroom.
I got this thing online that has four straps connected together and you put it under your mattress with the ends of the straps sticking out and you can strap someone to the bed. Since you asked.
Very handy in hotel room mattress as well, for light, not heavy, play. Love that you responded in earnest btw. I hear it’s important to be earnest.
(Apologies. Got a little excited there.)
Hypothesis still valid, we need more data
I also have those, would recommend
Drop that Amazon link bb
I bought mine from an online store called The Stockroom
“under bed restraints” is what you’re looking for, I don’t feel like digging up the link for my exact ones from years ago lol
Thx qt pi
I don’t remember it at all. I have ADHD which may be related to why they got me a leash.
I was just about to say this. The kids are likely special needs or neurodivergent.
