I am 28 yo, my husband is 31 and we got married three months ago. We live in France which might help with context. We just bought a flat and my dad was over from Germany to help us move some furnitures. Yesterday we went on a pedal boat at the lake to relax a bit, enjoy the sun and relax after all the efforts. My husband and my dad jumped in the water in their boxer shorts and kept saying how nice the water was. I just had my dress on and wasn’t planning to swim so I was a bit frustrated, and my husband told me I should remove my dress and join them. I said no. We then ate some snacks and drank some more (quite a lot actually) and then i mentioned again that I wish i had brought a bikini to swim and tan. Again he told me that there is no big deal and I should remove my dress. I gave it some thought and then decided to remove my dress indeed and to tan at the front of the small boat. A couple of hours after we went back home and my husband said he is super surprised that I « showed my tits » to my dad and that he would have never thought i would remove my dress if I didn’t have a bra on. He also said my thong was way too small. The thing is, he for sure would have guessed I had no bra when he told me to remove my dress, and I always wear this type of thong, so I feel he is unfair. He didn’t push me down or anything, but just mentioning that he is surprised leaves me a bitter taste. Also, he claims my dad was taking photos of the lake and the landscape but did so only when I was titties out, and he thinks for sure my dad now has photos of my tits on his phone. I’m totally lost and would love some opinion please

  • Waldelfe@feddit.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    20 days ago

    Your dad and husband both sound annoying. They suggested you go swimming in your underwear, multiple times, and when you do it’s not right and your husband makes a stink about it? Either you’re relaxed about nudity (your own and others) or you aren’t, which is also fine. But running around in underwear yourself, convincing others to be in underwear and THEN shitting on them for it is extremely hypocritical.

    What he says about your dad’s photos (whether it’s true or not) makes me also think that for him you being in underwear and swimming was something sexual. Typical male hypocrisy: A woman being (mostly) naked is ALWAYS sexual, a man being equally undressed isn’t, but also the woman is boring and no fun if she doesn’t do something like spontaneously undress and swim.

    Personally, I would be livid if my husband thought he could tell me when and where I can be naked. And I would absolutely give him hell if he’d push me to undress and then critisize me for doing so.

    • Vicky5712@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      20 days ago

      I think I shocked a bit my husband, it makes me sad. He wasn’t really blaming me, more questioning why I would remove my dress if there was nothing under… but yes I see your point

  • aubeynarf@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    20 days ago

    only comment I will make is that if he saw his father taking photos of you in a vulnerable and spontaneous situation, the person that he should be raising hell with is his father.

    Why is he blaming you when he should have already taken the phone from his father and deleted any photos of you?

    • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      20 days ago

      Her father, not his father. Situation is either stomach churning, husband is stupidly immature, and/or he’s always poking fun about something and went to far this time.

    • Vicky5712@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      20 days ago

      It’s my father, not his. And he wasn’t sure what photo and video it was, he just said it’s weird that he took photos and videos only from the moment in time where l undressed . It’s my dad so I understand why he felt weird questioning the photos but then thought about it further

      • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        19 days ago

        I don’t think it’s fair to throw your dad under the bus for photos without more proof that he was aiming the camera at you. He may have just felt awkward and thought taking nature shots seemed less weird than just sitting there while you were half dressed.

        This sounds more like your husbands anxiety talking than any proof of nefarious intent from your father.