Growing up, my dad had this whole attitude where he’s god in his house. And since I’m 7 years old, my opinions don’t matter.
Well. He didn’t just treat me like that. That’s who he is. Nobody wants to be around him. His wife left him. He has no friends. His mom died, because she was 103 (lovely woman, and actually my hero in life). His sister died (cancer). His other sister moved to florida after her husband died, but my dad just yells at her anytime they talk, so she doesn’t call him anymore.
His other sister takes after their mom, and is therefore a saint of a woman. He yells at her everytime she calls, and somehow she still drives him around town. She still takes care of him. She does waaaaaay more than I would.
As for me? I’m the one he tormented the worst. My mom delt with his shit for 7 years. She could (and did) leave him. I couldn’t. I was a kid.
Now I’m in my 40s. I remember as a kid thinking when I was older I would laugh and push him down when he got old. But in reality, I just feel this weird mix of feeling sorry for him, and feeling triumphant over him. He’s only 75ish, yet his body is so broken down it’s like he’s 90. He lives alone in a rat infested house because he won’t let anyone help him.
This is what always being right looks like.
You’re not right. You’re just so stuborn that nobody is willing to talk to you.
Sitting here trying to figure out if I am related to you. Grandma died at 103, aunt that took care of her, other uncle and aunt had falling out with daughter who then moved to Florida and went no contact. Uncle is only 75ish but his body breaking down.
Guess all the other stuff doesn’t match. His wife didn’t leave him, she died, but his sister is still alive, and he only had one sister, so…
I went no contact with my dad in 2009 after he refused to come to my wedding because he “doesn’t like weddings” (my mother says he did it to hurt her, even though she preferred his absence).
He never took much of any interest in my life before that moment, either. It wasn’t until after my second child (my son) was born that he suddenly gave a shit about my family and wanted photos of the kids so that he could show off his grandson.
We refused. He got angry. I told him, in clear words, that he made the choice to never be part of my family, and he had never earned the right to have access to my children. He is a stranger to us.
He calls me selfish for this. He replied that he’ll be taking me out of his will, as if I was ever in it to begin with.
Part of me wants to ask for a photo of your son, just to prove a point of how low your dad is on the chain. That you’d share a photo with me, a total stranger, but not him.
But then I have this OTHER side to my brain. The logical side. That side hears that idea, and thinks “That’s really weird though…don’t do that!”
And then there’s this OTHER OTHER side of my brain, the side in charge of my sense of humor, that says “Actually, you should type up your inner monolouge, and use the whole thing as a meta joke. THEN you should mention pineapples, which have nothing to do with anything. But it’ll inevitably make OP think about pineapples! So just mention them! It’ll be funny!”
They’ll never admit they’re wrong. They’ll never do something like apologize. They’ll never check their shoe despite everywhere they go smelling like shit.
It’s sad really. It takes a long time to get over the guilt from going no and all the anger but when you do you can see how much better your life is without them in it.
My step father was/is like that. Horrible drunk, 2 faced in public. My mother wants nothing to do with him anymore, his son is finally free from the divorce agreement (the children end up being property in divorces), and he texts me randomly about… nothing, really. Seldom, but always when he drinks. He gets really sentimental when he texts me. I haven’t told my mother, but as much as I hate him, there’s a large amount of pity. He had a family and pushed every single one of them away. Now he’s a lonely drunk, likely to die from health problems or something more depressing.
Growing up, my dad had this whole attitude where he’s god in his house. And since I’m 7 years old, my opinions don’t matter.
Well. He didn’t just treat me like that. That’s who he is. Nobody wants to be around him. His wife left him. He has no friends. His mom died, because she was 103 (lovely woman, and actually my hero in life). His sister died (cancer). His other sister moved to florida after her husband died, but my dad just yells at her anytime they talk, so she doesn’t call him anymore.
His other sister takes after their mom, and is therefore a saint of a woman. He yells at her everytime she calls, and somehow she still drives him around town. She still takes care of him. She does waaaaaay more than I would.
As for me? I’m the one he tormented the worst. My mom delt with his shit for 7 years. She could (and did) leave him. I couldn’t. I was a kid.
Now I’m in my 40s. I remember as a kid thinking when I was older I would laugh and push him down when he got old. But in reality, I just feel this weird mix of feeling sorry for him, and feeling triumphant over him. He’s only 75ish, yet his body is so broken down it’s like he’s 90. He lives alone in a rat infested house because he won’t let anyone help him.
This is what always being right looks like.
You’re not right. You’re just so stuborn that nobody is willing to talk to you.
Sitting here trying to figure out if I am related to you. Grandma died at 103, aunt that took care of her, other uncle and aunt had falling out with daughter who then moved to Florida and went no contact. Uncle is only 75ish but his body breaking down.
Guess all the other stuff doesn’t match. His wife didn’t leave him, she died, but his sister is still alive, and he only had one sister, so…
I went no contact with my dad in 2009 after he refused to come to my wedding because he “doesn’t like weddings” (my mother says he did it to hurt her, even though she preferred his absence).
He never took much of any interest in my life before that moment, either. It wasn’t until after my second child (my son) was born that he suddenly gave a shit about my family and wanted photos of the kids so that he could show off his grandson.
We refused. He got angry. I told him, in clear words, that he made the choice to never be part of my family, and he had never earned the right to have access to my children. He is a stranger to us.
He calls me selfish for this. He replied that he’ll be taking me out of his will, as if I was ever in it to begin with.
Boomers, man…
Part of me wants to ask for a photo of your son, just to prove a point of how low your dad is on the chain. That you’d share a photo with me, a total stranger, but not him.
But then I have this OTHER side to my brain. The logical side. That side hears that idea, and thinks “That’s really weird though…don’t do that!”
And then there’s this OTHER OTHER side of my brain, the side in charge of my sense of humor, that says “Actually, you should type up your inner monolouge, and use the whole thing as a meta joke. THEN you should mention pineapples, which have nothing to do with anything. But it’ll inevitably make OP think about pineapples! So just mention them! It’ll be funny!”
Pineapples.
The inner monologue was valid. However I think your plan backfired…
Your dad is my mom. So eerily similar.
They’ll never admit they’re wrong. They’ll never do something like apologize. They’ll never check their shoe despite everywhere they go smelling like shit.
It’s sad really. It takes a long time to get over the guilt from going no and all the anger but when you do you can see how much better your life is without them in it.
there should be a subcommunity for people with narcissistic parents. we got a hole club here.
it’s amazing to me that my parents ever ended up together, mom was polar opposite.
There’s raisedbynarcissists on Reddit which is that. Probably one on Lenny too.
yeah no pass lol
My step father was/is like that. Horrible drunk, 2 faced in public. My mother wants nothing to do with him anymore, his son is finally free from the divorce agreement (the children end up being property in divorces), and he texts me randomly about… nothing, really. Seldom, but always when he drinks. He gets really sentimental when he texts me. I haven’t told my mother, but as much as I hate him, there’s a large amount of pity. He had a family and pushed every single one of them away. Now he’s a lonely drunk, likely to die from health problems or something more depressing.
I’ve had rather similar experiences with a family member, and completely agree.