how was your life so far?

Why are you going to kill yourself?

Is there anything we can do to help?

Hey, just saw this. after someone else brought up your post history.

I’m not a doctor, but wide swings in emotion can have many causes, such as bipolar or borderline personality disorder.

I can’t say whether this is what you’re experiencing. But I will say I know how hard things like that are and also that it can get easier.

We all die anyway, please don’t rush it.

How do you think your friends and family will react to your passing ?

What u killing urself? Or u got cancer or something?

You can move past and escape your current situation through other means then suicide.

If you have exhausted all the help available and there is beyond a doubt no way forward, then make plans to leave where you are and start again somewhere else.

That being said, you have probably overlooked some available support structure or coping mechanisms.

Keep trying! I know its hard but all this will seem silly one day if you stick with it and find a way out. You will eventually find people that value you and care to be there for you.

I’m not bipolar but I have had my own struggles with depression and suicidality in the past. I can tell you that all those negative thoughts you are having are lies, even if it is difficult to see that at the moment. I sincerely hope that you are able to see a therapist and get help because you do deserve to be alive and happy.

i tried to kms and the noises that came out were horriblez

Shit’s treatable as fuck, especially depressive illnesses like, well, depression, but also bipolar and so on. If you look up the success rate of treatment for these things, you’ll see that they’re really, really good, all things considered. It 100% won’t feel like anything will ever help you when you’re in this state of mind - I know only too well - but trust me, your motivations and thoughts are off kilter right now, and with some help from the doc, you will look back on this time with bemusement.

It’s like being horny. When you’re in that state, you’ll do - and want to do - things that you would not wanna do on a Monday morning as you get ready for work. You’ll put things in your mouth that would probably make you puke if you thought about doing it in any other circumstance. Once you orgasm, and the post-nut clarity kicks in, you’ll return to your normal state and will resume your normal thoughts. You won’t be single-minded in your quest for an orgasm anymore, and you might even feel shame at what you were willing to do just 10 minutes earlier. But you can get back to your life. Right now, your brain is gooning for suicide. Your brain can go fuck itself. Get help, just go to your family doc and tell them what you’re going through (I recommend writing out a list of symptoms/recurring thoughts to make it easier). If you’re already in treatment and you feel it’s not working, you need to let them know so they can try other medications or other more dramatic interventions like ECT or ketamine or something.

If you’re afraid of being carted away and locked in a 17th century insane asylum, I can assure you of two things. First, you will not be hospitalised unless you explicitly tell the doc you plan on harming yourself. So you can safely tell them “I write drafts of my suicide note daily, I think about ending it all the time, I don’t see a future, I think everyone would be happier if I were dead” etc. None of that will get you hospitalised against your will. Saying “when I get home I’m eating 100 pills and slitting my throat”, that will get you hospitalised. The second thing I can assure you of is that, whatever nightmarish ideas you may have in your head of what it’s like to be in a psych hospital, it’s nothing like the movies. It’s no different from a regular hospital. If I were talking to you 40 or 50 years ago, I would probably recommend you avoid the hospital at all costs. But in 2025, it’s not a prison with nurses instead of wardens. It’s not One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I know from personal experience, it’s really not a big deal, especially if you’re non-violent and are more of a threat to yourself. But even with all that said, you almost certainly won’t be heading there against your will unless you tell the doc you have imminent plans to end your life. Depression is one of the leading causes of doctor visits these days, they sure as fuck can’t hospitalise all such cases, so they definitely don’t hospitalise people willy-nilly. And because it’s such a widespread issue, the science has advanced in leaps and bounds just in the last couple of decades. For a doctor, and especially for a psychiatrist/psychologist, depression is pretty milquetoast shit. To the sufferer, it’s literally so bad you would rather be dead than to feel it anymore. But as far as the docs are concerned, it’s easy mode.

Get help, start with the family doc and go from there. If you’re already getting help, tell them it’s not fucking working. If you’re scared of going to the doc, you can try a suicide helpline. The Samaritans is the obvious one, but there are countless others all over the world, and many of them have email as well as phonecalls if you prefer typing. They are trained to talk to people in your specific shoes, so don’t be nervous about not knowing what to say, just ring and let them take the lead.

I promise you, things will get so much better and you’ll look back on this period of your life like it happened to someone else.