I think it all came from web marketing guru funnel-builder-ebook-masterclass-mentor-course types.
And it circlejerked with business types to capitalize on shorter and shorter attention spans.
I was like you. I was a normal guy. And one day I decided to take a guess at where this irritating “writing style” came from…and why it was EVERYWHERE…
…and you won’t believe what I came up with (Or maybe you will, because you’re ultra smart, I can tell just by the way you’re reading this, you’re not like everyone else, you’re special, click the button at the end of this really long pointless babbling)…I think it’s because…
People scroll, and short little paragraphs keep you reading.
In bite-sized little chunks. So you keep scrolling and scrolling waiting for it to get to the point…
…so what are you waiting for? Lame call to action by clicking the button below to get added to my email list with 900 days risk free…
…and one day you too can have a Lambo.
…Ugh that made me physically sick writing like that even as a joke LOL.
I hope it was at least satirically entertaining and perhaps a touch cathartic! XD
I’m sure you’ve also shared that same experience I have, where you ended up scrolling and scrolling those stupid websites to see what their deal was, even though you knew it was 100% nonsense lol.
Edit: Oh gosh, I had too much fun with it and now it’s 7x as unhinged lmao…
I’m pretty sure…
You’re not gonna believe this but…
I think it all came from web marketing guru funnel-builder-ebook-masterclass-mentor-course types.
And it circlejerked with business types to capitalize on shorter and shorter attention spans.
I was like you. I was a normal guy. And one day I decided to take a guess at where this irritating “writing style” came from…and why it was EVERYWHERE…
…and you won’t believe what I came up with (Or maybe you will, because you’re ultra smart, I can tell just by the way you’re reading this, you’re not like everyone else, you’re special, click the button at the end of this really long pointless babbling)…I think it’s because…
People scroll, and short little paragraphs keep you reading.
In bite-sized little chunks. So you keep scrolling and scrolling waiting for it to get to the point…
…so what are you waiting for? Lame call to action by clicking the button below to get added to my email list with 900 days risk free…
…and one day you too can have a Lambo.
…Ugh that made me physically sick writing like that even as a joke LOL.
Bravo. A masterpiece.
I guess it works too, I just read that.
I hope it was at least satirically entertaining and perhaps a touch cathartic! XD
I’m sure you’ve also shared that same experience I have, where you ended up scrolling and scrolling those stupid websites to see what their deal was, even though you knew it was 100% nonsense lol.
Edit: Oh gosh, I had too much fun with it and now it’s 7x as unhinged lmao…
Good god this is so fucking draining
Isn’t it insufferable? Agh!
I hope my version was at least sorta funny while making the point and highlighting a lot of those stupid tricks they use.
Absolutely, yes, it was good satire. Please, don’t do it again