• the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Meh. I’ll just fall back in my personality. I’m not really into women who care about aesthetics much anyway.

    • 𝕿𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖝𝖎𝖒𝖆@programming.dev
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      15 hours ago

      Everyone cares about aesthetics. “I don’t care about aesthetics” is itself an aesthetic.

      Your looks are part of your personality, we’re not talking about how pretty you are here ; we’re talking about what you express with you looks.

      And what a white t-shirt and jeans expresses is “I’m boring”, or more charitably “I’m normal”. People looking to date look for someone who stands out to them, without being too weird either.

      • angrystego@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        Boring looks mean “I’m normal”, as you said, which is a very comforting thought for many women. Not everyone is into something extravagant. Many people feel like going for the classics is the safer option. Someone can stand out for you without standing out in the crowd.

    • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Decent folks usually back seat aesthetics to personality anyway.

      The meme is still funny. I hobby bird watch, and it’s very true in the bird world. The male birds are colored brightly if they have good nutrition, they are healthy, so the females mate with them. The female birds are boring so they blend into the environment, so they hide better from prey as they do the egg hatching thing.

      I went on a first bar date with a fella once, and I couldn’t get it out of my mind he reminded me of a cocky rooster, so boisterous. Too much personality for me, I chose not to go out with him again. A lid for every pot.

    • Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      Aesthetically speaking, not standing out is totally fine. Personality speaking though, you have to be standing out.

      What makes you unique? What hobbies do you have? What things are you passionate about?

      People who are passionate about things are way more attractive than people who are not.

      Give me a date with the person who will talk my ear off about trains, rocks, dinosaurs, etc anyday over the person who has no passions and no hobbies.

        • ragas@lemmy.ml
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          16 hours ago

          That is fine. But it is still stupid to say if you want to get to know somebody.

          • angrystego@lemmy.world
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            14 hours ago

            Why stupid? It sounds thoughtful and realistic, and that impresses me more than being a pick me I’m not like other men.

      • angrystego@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        Do you have to stand or do you have to be compatible with your partner? I’d say the second option is more important. The standing out thing will be taken care of by the hormones - once the brain is ready, it will view anyone compatible as special. If you feel like men around you are not compatible, perhaps you could try to find a societal bubble with higher concentration of people of your kind.