Every night in my DMs.
I see poo, I feel poo.
That is how I know you, go poop.
Far across the distance.
And spaces between us.
You have come to show you, go poop.
Near, fart, wherever you are.
I believe that the shart does go on.
Once more you open the back door.
And you’re here in my heart and my heart will go poo and poo.
I heard this one. They eloped within the week
Probably
If in your world “sending a video of pooping” is not synonymous with “hurting someones feelings”, then I am not even sure what to say.
It sure is a fucking insane thing to do
Ten minutes is the real question mark for me. Was it just kismet that she had one in the holster like that?
Sometimes, dreams do come true
Just eat something your stomach has an intolerance to and you can probably work it out pretty quickly
I would eat anything for love
But I won’t eat that
That’s my secret, Cap. I’ve always got to poo
Probably-crones-disease homies, represent
Bone apple teeth
Lol I really shoulda looked it up first
And suddenly he is feeling it again…
I mean I guess if you do something that fucked up and get the same response you probably found your actual soulmate
or someone who is trying very hard
Don’t get too pushy. You might get hemorrhoids
One time, I was on the phone with my ex, and they narrated writing on the side of the toilet bowl with their own poo. It was incredibly vivid, and I was legitimately disgusted. He added emphasis and storytelling. I sat there and protested, completely unaware his mom did colonoscopies, and he was unfazed by the mention of poop.
One quote that always stuck with me is, “shit in a bag feels like play-doh.”
To this day, I pray to God that may not answer, that he was joking.
I mean, shit in a bag does feel like play-doh sometimes.
Source: have a dog
Warm play-doh unfortunately
Unless you grab the wrong loaf… chilly surprise!
This makes it sooo mich worse, somehow. 😳
Oh man, i know.
Back in the day, I used to run a shuttle of a dozen dogs to what’s it called? Magnuson Park? Something like that in Seattle. And it’s simply not possible to keep track of 12 dogs chocolate landmines, so I’d inevitably pick up three or four “cold ones” each trip.
Pants down and you could be donating your own turds to the park. Equilibrium restored.
“…pants?”
Analogies are cursed. They can paint so vivid a picture you wish you were illiterate.
“All those moments will be lost in time, like poo on the side of a toilet.”
It depends on the shit. It comes in a wide variety of consistencies, even on the same day.
Marriage material right there
Need to get double toilets in the bathroom
If one of you spreads extra wide, you can just go for a double decker.
The real ones aren’t the ones you think you want
ITT: I’ve found home. Y’all are my peeps.
Two literal shitposters - and they found each other
She was thinking omg he has the same kink as I do.
Kinky girl with a heart of gold and panties of brown.
Homeboy found the keeper of all keepers, if she’ll share poopix, she’ll probably do all sorts of stuff, she’s just waiting for her moment to shine!
She’s a keeper
I’m literally shitting right now y’all.
agreed
How would you rate your shit?
Bog standard sit down and let 'er rip.
I’ve never seen a more perfect use of bog standard
Cool, but please don’t send the video.
I wouldn’t check your DMs then.
Vids or it didn’t happen.
You trying to see me paint the bowl? I’d just take my word for it if I was you.
If you’re starting to paint it red, you might want to send it to your doctor.
If you start to paint it black, you might be The Rolling Stones
Lemmy is place for every type of character:
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There are two rules and they’re the same for both genders, and neither one is ‘be nice.’
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It’s be hot af and easy?
For some straight guys and gay ladies a girl could be mean to them and that’d increase how much they want them.
That’s a fairly small subset though.
Suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
And that’s how I met your mother.
I thought this was going to be a 5 years later we are married and she thinks I like poop story
