Back when we were a real civilization, we didn’t try to find matches by looking at someone’s photograph, we would have considered that creepy and stupid.
My parents met by getting introduced to each other in what’s effectively an arranged marriage. Well, technically, it was not forced per se, but the village elders and/or their parents pressured it, they show photos, then they were pressured to agree to an arranged meeting, y’all talk to each other. The elders verify your 时辰八字 (some astrology stuff) to verify “compatibility”. Then if y’all like each other, the marriage happens. From what my mother told me, they could refuse, but then their parents / village elders just keep trying to find a new partner for you. Marriage is an expectation. 🤷♂️
This was like 1990’s, Guangdong Province, People’s Republic of China.
My parents are still trying to do arranged arranged marriage for my older brother (we live in the USA now) because my mother is afraid he wouldn’t find a spouse. He doesn’t seem to care about marriage either.
There’s like this expectation for you to get married early and have kids. (My older brother is many years older then me, and he’s is approaching 30 years old)
My reaction to this shit, is: I don’t wanna get married lol. I hate the idea of living with another human being. I never have any desires for romantic relationships. I wanna live and die alone. (And especially, fuck arranged marriages, ain’t doing that shit, rather be single than miserable. Not having one of the most important choices be dictated by parents.)
(Btw, I’m not even supposed to be born. My mother disobeyed the One Child Policy and gave birth to me)
Rejection is painful precisely because genuine connections are so desirable. The tension, the drama, and the luck-of-the-draw of dating is both what makes it miserable and exciting. Nice to see other interesting people and to be seen as interesting to others.
“Btw, I’m not even supposed to be born. My mother disobeyed the One Child Policy and gave birth to me”
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“especially, fuck arranged marriages, ain’t doing that shit, rather be single than miserable. Not having one of the most important choices be dictated by parents”
Right on, dude 🤘 Your entire existence is a rebellion so you might as well go the whole hog and live your way
My parents met by getting introduced to each other in what’s effectively an arranged marriage. Well, technically, it was not forced per se, but the village elders and/or their parents pressured it, they show photos, then they were pressured to agree to an arranged meeting, y’all talk to each other. The elders verify your 时辰八字 (some astrology stuff) to verify “compatibility”. Then if y’all like each other, the marriage happens. From what my mother told me, they could refuse, but then their parents / village elders just keep trying to find a new partner for you. Marriage is an expectation. 🤷♂️
This was like 1990’s, Guangdong Province, People’s Republic of China.
My parents are still trying to do arranged arranged marriage for my older brother (we live in the USA now) because my mother is afraid he wouldn’t find a spouse. He doesn’t seem to care about marriage either.
There’s like this expectation for you to get married early and have kids. (My older brother is many years older then me, and he’s is approaching 30 years old)
My reaction to this shit, is: I don’t wanna get married lol. I hate the idea of living with another human being. I never have any desires for romantic relationships. I wanna live and die alone. (And especially, fuck arranged marriages, ain’t doing that shit, rather be single than miserable. Not having one of the most important choices be dictated by parents.)
(Btw, I’m not even supposed to be born. My mother disobeyed the One Child Policy and gave birth to me)
As someone who is living in a non-arranged marriage, if it turns out well, a relationship can be quite magical.
It just sucks how dating looks like today, but if it works out, it is worth all of the shit.
Rejection is painful precisely because genuine connections are so desirable. The tension, the drama, and the luck-of-the-draw of dating is both what makes it miserable and exciting. Nice to see other interesting people and to be seen as interesting to others.
.
Right on, dude 🤘 Your entire existence is a rebellion so you might as well go the whole hog and live your way