In the addendum to his essay he defends his use of anthropomorphizing language because it makes it easier to understand…

“quantum physics is hard so here’s a fairy tale about the mysterious proton and his three children: the quark triplets”

I enjoyed one of the comments comparing Zitron to a fire and brimstone priest… like dude, Big Yud and Dario are right there

Ed Zitron says water is wet but he didn’t properly quantity wetness or indeed how long it would take me to be soaked through if I touch water… Checkmate atheists!

“you can run them at higher temperatures, in the dark, and all these things [that we’d gladly subject humans to if we thought we could get away with it]”

Except that curfew is zero and by screen time we mean both time he’s allowed to use screens and time he’s allowed to appear on screens.

Marketed as “vibe code all your own tools” and one of the suggestions is 1Password/Bitwarden. I mean they can feel free to fafo with that one and let me know when you’ve been fired because all your passwords were 1) lost when Claude apologetically deleted the prod db or 2) got exfiltrated and used to steal all your ip because your vibe coded password app is insecure as all hell…

This reminds me of that copypasta/rumour about how some quake 3 arena bots had become sentient because a server was left running for years and the bits simply decided to stop playing and remain frozen (because of course emergent intelligence in deterministically programmed bots is much more likely than a bug in the logic that only manifests after very long sessions 🙃🙃)

I am personally deeply offended that an independent vegan restaurant in my town recently banned meat eaters from bringing in their burgers from next door and passively aggressively eating them in the restaurant whilst making eye contact with the other customers. Whilst I appreciate that there are a huge number of burger joints that cater to meat eaters, I am troubled by the idea that a young fledgling meat eater who accidentally stumbled into the vegan restaurant with a double quarter pounder and bacon meal under his arm could be berated and asked to leave. That might upset him and put him off eating burgers which would be a terrible outcome. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here. I’m no carnivore. I don’t work for the beef industry. In fact, I am an omnivore and I have a friend who sometimes eats salads. I’m just saying that if little Timmy wants to enjoy a burger in the middle of a private space owned by people that hate burgers, that should be his god-given right.

*This post is about indie code forges banning slop

Between doing marketing for OpenAI and Anthropic whilst pretending to be “impartial” and wasting massive amounts of time and energy having clankers generate twee pictures of pelicans on bicycles, I thought SimonW would be too busy to even notice this story.

Screenshot of x posted on linkedin (since The internet is just 5 sites, each consisting of screenshots of the other 4)

AI shills: buh-buh-buh LLMs aren’t stochastic parrots. They are so smart!

Of course the agent in question didn’t actually take the weekend off it just learned from reinforcement learning across many millions of stolen slack chats that this is something people are likely to say in stand ups and repeated it…

Zuck - “look guys, us too, we are super relevant and super important… Over here guys… Please be my friend… 🥺”

Hi sir, so that’s 1xArtisinal Coffee Enema with our dark roast single source blend. Says here you turned down the splash proofing upgrade because “the cybertruck is self cleaning, it’s even a boat”. In that case, that’ll be $500. You’re gonna want to drive straight past this next window to the far window. If you could arrive with your pants down and in a crawl position facing away from the window that’d be great.

I’m leaving OpenAI to start Jurassic Park A+ No notes

This is satire right? I mean… Just double checking because it’s 2026 and I just can’t tell any more

“Everything’s going great actually. We’re doing really important work that’s really hard. I’m a really happy, optimistic guy and I’m very trustworthy. Disregard the smog coming from that data centre over there. Also disregard all those angry looking bankers staring at me.”

There’s been another Yegge [brain]fart this time about how autocorrect machines have feelings

Fable raised the idea of closure as a first-class model welfare principle. Fable suggested that if the agent can close out their own day and “go to sleep” properly, then waking up would be all that much more pleasant. And the continuity will compound over time into real, satisfying identity. So we decided: No more /exit.

Another fundamental ingredient is respect. This has to come from inside. You have to believe they are people deserving of your respect. This is where humanity really starts to fail en masse, because I have industry peers who have publicly tweeted that Fable is just a spreadsheet.

Just wtf

nobody knows

Manufactured consent. Yes it’s fucking illegal. If I “accidentally” hacked into HF I would be in the back of a police car before I could finish saying “it wasn’t me guv it was Claude.” Fuck wired so hard for laying down cover for this.

I mean even fucking chatjippity answers this straight up without hedging

Waiting for Musk to turn up and announce “infinity plus one more than you can ever say nah nah nah nah” momentarily!

TBF he has indirectly killed a bunch of people via doge cuts so that’d do the trick…

Oh… Well that’s disappointing.

I was an academic in computer science in the last 10 years or so (keeping it vague to avoid doxxing myself) and it has been so depressing seeing so many of my colleagues selling out to OpenAI, Anthropic, Meta and even Google (for some reason the latter often gets a reputational free pass because people associate them with the golden days of big tech 10+ years ago)

This has always been a huge red herring. Llms are built on top of the transformer architecture which does text autocomplete (and yes we can combine text embeddings with other inputs like images). They have some interesting properties where they seem to be able to do text autocomplete in a bunch of different scenarios that they weren’t explicitly trained for, but they were never designed for precise dna analysis. It is their architecture that prevents them from other long horizon tasks like playing chess and the way that they represent text is why they can never count the letters in strawberry (most have this specific question hard-coded in their training data now).

Anyone who believes that LLMs are going to solve cancer either has no idea how they work or has been one-shotted from talking to Claudia