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Cake day: March 27th, 2025

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  • meet someone who is thoroughly fucked up (as am I), but who is keeping it in check? Because, yes, I am attracted to the existential grit brought about by hardships. I like someone with dirty hands, someone who has good reasons to not be optimistic or generally cheerful, someone who has seen the things beneath the flesh and is now knee-deep in the abyss.

    I would say yes, this increases your chances of finding toxic partners by a lot. A lot of people can have hardships and have the “grit” but some of them stay positive and move forward while others keep the pessimism and the trauma unhealed. And as people with past trauma know, it’s gonna take a long time to properly heal, and having a positive life attitude and outlook is essential in that process. I am one of those with past trauma so I am not trying to be against them, but there is a reason that a lot of terrible criminals had terrible childhoods. Of course, others can become overachievers or great people too, but the correlation is there. If you want to find relatable partners, there are things beyond life hardships you can try to relate to.