I feel like people are doing a disservice by using the phrase “toxic masculinity”

You can’t use that phrase without implying masculinity in general is a bad thing. Trying to draw a distinction between “masculinity” and “toxic masculinity” is using the same logic as the people that say “but you’re one of the good ones” when they’re talking to someone of [insert race, gender, religion, etc].

They’re toxic people that cause these problems. There’s nothing wrong with masculinity.

The cat food is probably always there. Kitty was trying to buy nip on the dark web.

It’s been so long since X broke that most people won’t know what you mean by xorg.conf

I have fucking terabytes, literally, of data. Backups from this phone or the previous, or this laptop or the next, just tons of data, on this drive or another or stuck in a personal S3 storage. Yeah I’ll delete them if I find them but I’m not about to fucking put effort into it. It’s all encrypted, even if it’s found it can’t be opened without explicit permission and action even by the best security engineers in the world, but that doesn’t mean I give a shit about making sure it’s deleted.

but I think I’d react similarly if I was in her situation.

That’s worse. You understand that’s worse, right?

They don’t bear the moniker “greybeard” without reason

Computers communicate across networks using ports. Port 22 is a commonly used remote administration port called ssh. Bots go around probing computers with an open port 22 hoping to find badly secured or outside misconfigured ssh servers to turn them into bots and crypto miners, etc.

If you do want to open 22, and there are plenty of good reasons to want to, just implement something called port knocking and you can do it safely.

Note with this you still need good authentication. That means no passwords, key based auth only.