I’m going to get incredibly baked and play Minecraft. Then bed.

Washington DC. Aside from the obvious, just trying to drive into DC makes you think that perhaps you could get off on a technicality or plead insanity.

Came for Skroob and was not disappointed.

Thank fucking Christ he’s old and will be dead soon. That’s all I’m holding onto right now.

Well I haven’t experienced this level of disappointment since childhood.

Well that’s enough internet for me today.

There’s no goddamn way anyone let them on an international flight without a valid US passport.

Why in the hell is it always toilet paper?

That’s a fair assessment. However, I personally, am at my limit of awful things I’m able to carry around with me currently. Best I can muster is a “fuck this silly hat wearing asshole” at present.

Ah well good thing I don’t particularly give a shit what some guy in an (admittedly) awesome party hat thinks about me, as a vagina owner.

I refer to him as, “Voldemort lookin’ motherfucker”

Honestly, they’ve become my uniform. Comfort - ✔️ Full range of motion - ✔️ Full coverage - ✔️

High waist compression leggings are my go-to. Even when I’m cycling you can’t see the top of whatever underwear I chose to wear that day.

I make things in my spare time so I don’t tell people to go to hell during my work time. These things are not quite the same.

I didn’t realize Siri and the cats were conspiring. Yesterday I went into the living room to investigate a ruckus and found one of my cats sitting on the couch while the home pod in the window sill was playing Mumford and Sons.

I offset the gains from my one cup of coffee by chasing it with a sugar free Monster. Balance.

That, uh, was definitely a hard ‘r’ there. Jesus Christ.

I suspect this is similar to how someone is going to find my carcass.

Well. The administration would be consistently brain wormy I guess.

It’s captivating, really. I can’t stop looking at it.