Well, let’s start by fining them per tree.

Scambot recommends scams. You’re surprised about this?

This is a kind of whisper-down-the-lane problem, except you have to add that at each step as the details are communicated up the chain, each person summarizes them based on their understanding and their expectation about what their direct supervisor can understand. And many of the people in that chain really have less than a basic understanding of what the system does, to say nothing of how it does it.

Now, in addition to that, insert an intermediary step between each one, where a hallucination-prone AI summarizes what the previous person said.

Turns out ‘move fast and break things’ isn’t a great strategy when it comes to maintaining national infrastructure that people’s lives depend on.

And I hate the hour-long cleaning!

If you came into some kind of container, it wouldn’t take an hour to clean… But it would still be inconvenient needing to then somehow dispose of all that jizz…

The risk tends to be hugely overblown.

1: Use a VPN so your ISP can’t tattle on you for downloading things.

2: Virus scan stuff you download before opening/running it.

3: Keep good backups (you should be doing this anyway) so you can restore from backup if some kind of virus/malware manages to evade your virus scan.

Do those three things, and the risk of downloading pirated shit will be incredibly low. (And streaming isn’t zero-risk, either. The streaming apps or the streaming files themselves could theoretically be compromised, after all.)

If you’re anywhere, go to this neat website called Pirate Bay, and they have almost every movie ever, completely for free – no ads, and it’s yours as long as you want to keep it.

If you want to be safe, also sign up for a VPN, so your ISP doesn’t snoop on you downloading things (looking at you, Comcast). But a decent VPN is like $5-10 per year.

Also - no private donations from oligarchs for things like vanity projects…

Donations, sure… But they have to go straight into the general fund, and Congress decides how that money will be spent.

Those poll workers still on the job counting votes are probably starting to get pretty resentful about her opponent still not conceding.

Sounds like that would make masturbation quite inconvenient.

Yes, someone with serious digestive issues like Crohn’s disease could potentially accomplish this feat.

My apartment also has electric heat, so I my survival here is probably untenable in the cold.

Unless it gets extremely cold where you live, you can probably make do for quite a while by just dressing warmly and using lots of blankets. However, if it’s getting below freezing inside, you (or your apartment manager) will want to shut the water off and drain the pipes to prevent bursting and leaks, so then you’re dealing with a lack of water, which then causes issues for hydration and sanitation.

Pro tip: keep those in metal or glass containers, so rodents can’t get to them.

I’m not seeing a situation were being hacked would require a tent or gas mask.

But if the chemical plant near you gets hacked, then you might be grateful to have a gas mask…

But that kind of thing is highly dependent on location and your own personal risk profile. Personally, I do have gas masks for me and my girlfriend (old Polish military surplus that’s compatible with NATO filters, only about $30 each), but those are much more likely to be used for rioting/protesting than for emergency preparedness. Immunity to teargas and pepper spray sure is nice…

(Though, actually, I did use it once in an emergency. A small kitchen fire started while we were on a walk. Put it out pretty easily with a fire extinguisher when we came back, but it was a pretty nasty smoky fire and filled the house with toxic-smelling smoke. We had two cats inside that I wanted to rescue, so I put on my gas mask to help find them. Once I found the gas mask and got it on, it was so much easier to see and breathe in the smoke. Which was good. One cat was quick and easy to find – came right to me. But the other cat had hidden in a pile of stuff in a corner and took quite a bit of effort to find – she was lethargic and weak when I finally found her, obviously suffering badly from smoke inhalation, but she recovered within a few minutes once I brought her outside into fresh air. For a couple days after that, we left all the windows open and lived in a travel trailer in the back yard instead, the cats as well. After that, the smell of smoke mostly cleared out, and we could move back in. I guess an RV in the back yard is also nice to have for emergency preparedness – it’s kind of an entire backup house when you need one.)

The cum in the ass would have to stay there for a long time.

Depends on your timing. All you have to do is wait a while before the back door party.

Have you ever eaten so much that you ended up shitting out undigested food? Probably not. Normally, you’d puke long before that happened.

Jellyfish, starfish, sea urchins, sponges, coral, etc … along with quite a lot of microscopic organisms.

And anything we put in our mouth eventually exits the rear

Yes, but by the time it gets to the rear, it won’t be ‘cum’ anymore.

nutritional value of semen

To summarize: to meet all your nutritional needs with semen, you’d need about 400ml per day to get 2000 calories. That’s between 80 and 130 normal human cumshots per day. However, if you were to go non-human, it might be different. A horse, for example, would only need 2 to 3 cumshots a day to fulfill your caloric needs.

However, you’ll still need to supplement with some vitamins and minerals that aren’t typically found in semen. The complete lack of fiber might also be an issue, so you’d probably want a fiber supplement as well.