You know that thing where when someone gets called a pedophile and they defend themselves with extremely narrow definitions of the various parts of human development but couched in enough legal terminology to put themselves as having gotten too close to the subject? You did that for tankies. It might be time to get some basic interaction with people. Go to a library, sit down to a story time, and look around at how happy other people can be just experiencing the company of others. You need to be with people.