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“You aren’t writing enough lines of code!” - Management
My boss’s boss, a former Ops manager who liked to keep track of system stats, once asked her why the CPU usage on the dev box had decreased that month. Weren’t the devs doing any work?
If this were a Node module, I wouldn’t even be surprised.
I misread it as CompareBolians. No more Star Trek memes for me today.
Many Bolians died bringing us this information.
Don’t do OOP kids
Not even once
That’s not OO code
Still good advice, though.
Not really. Good advice would be to use the right tool for the job
Don’t forget the invocation
if (CompareBooleans(a, b) == true)elseif(CompareBooleans(b,a) != false)if (CompareBooleans(CompareBooleans(a, b), true))that… actually works…
I don’t like this thread anymore :(
No, no, this is actually the only correct code in the thread.
This is code after working 16 hours
I’d give my right hand this is a code review problem. Someone extracted a method returning true false. Then an intern came along and was told to refactor. They saw a lot of comparisons and “extracted” them.
My coworker made an array of book to express a status. This is no doing of an intern but a much eviler force at play.
I’ve heard of shared libraries, but this is ridiculous
Thanks I hate it
“We need to obfuscate our code to prevent reverse engineering”
The obfuscation in question:
We affectionately called it “subscurity” on the FE team.
When our BE apis would not give us any information why something failed, nor would they give us access to their logs. Complete black box of undocumented doodoo, and they would proudly say “security through obscurity” every time we asked why they couldn’t make improvements to usability.
You must have been working with the Redditors who told me that avoiding the use of JavaScript’s
eval()to parse JSON was a false sense of security.
Wait areBooleanEqual returns false when they are equal?
That’s not even the worst part. What the fuck does a function named Compare_anything do? Does it return anything? It sounds like nothing but a side effect.
Usually comparison functions are supposed to return an integer and are usually useful for sorting. However this one returns a bool so it’s both useless and terribly named.
The unnecessary and confusing functions are horrible, yes, but I’d still say that the fact that they’re wrong is the “worst” part.
That’s enough chit-chat, nerds. Back to work.
- Management
yesn’t
This actually made me laugh, thank you.
My guess to why there’s two functions is because it was originally only
internal, and the programmer realized they neededpublicas well, but changinginternaltopublicis too scary so they created a new method instead.Where are the unit tests?
Reminds me of is-even
I can definitely understand why they did that but it’s still very funny
Shoot me now. Just get it over with. I can’t anymore.
GitHub page of this program:
I created this in 2014, when I was learning how to program.
If you’re trying to suggest that it’s a nothing package that should be ignored, let me remind you that it has 641k/month in downloads, with 17m downloads total.
I always figured it was a joke. I mean, it has another package called is-odd as a dependency. That’s comedy
I noticed is-odd also has 1 dependency but I didn’t dare to check what it was 😂
Depends on is-number because JavaScript is silly
Weekly downloads: 152,124
It’s dependent on is-odd which is dependent on is-number which has 88 million weekly downloads…
Have you seen the repository’s name (or rather the name of the owner of that repository) on github?
There’s no way, that’s so insane it has layers.
At first, I thought the shitty methods were the joke 😱😱😱
!NOT
Who’s there?
!!Naughty Knots
Management: Gee whiz, we really have no idea how to gauge productivity to decide who gets promoted. We could manage. Or, better, we could just have someone write a script that pulls info from git on how many lines of code each person has written.
Programmers:
I promote based on lines of code removed.
I love deleting code, including my own, more than writing code. That’s a killer metric imo.
Which is all the easier to do when you start off with a higher number…
Add heavily verbose/redundant math equations that take up multiple lines with each operation saving to a new variable, then either decrease the number of variable declarations or condense/simplify the math occasionally. Repeat with each new function. Killing two metrics at once LOC and the removal of LOC for older functions. Guaranteed promotions. lol
I quit based on idiotic metrics
Ah, the idiotic idiotic metric metric.
Are you 14?
I don’t know what the age metric has to do with anything.
I’m sure it was meant as a joke, not a serious criticism.
I think we can all agree that managers who have no idea what’s important absolutely suck
