I’ve been talking a lot in therapy recently about how “passing” is becoming a moot concept. That used to be the goal of transition back in my day (2000’s) but nowadays people are just free to pursue whatever their ideal self is regardless of what society deems as “passing”. I struggled with this concept for a long time - I thought, “but what if the people around me know I’m Trans?” and he has been challenging me to question “Why would it matter?”. Sure there’s the obvious concerns of bigotry and violence, but in a safe space such as work or friendship, does it really make a difference?
The times that I can slip into that mindset of not caring whether I pass are the most free I’ve felt in decades. I hope all my transbros and sisters can achieve that.
I’m delighted to read you consider work to be a safe place. I hope that is the norm for everyone.
I imagine for most it’s not true though.
100%. I’ve worked in many places where I had to hide, and so I think I’m still stuck in that mindset.
As long as work is a safe space, it’s moot indeed. However, since work is tied to food and shelter in this absolute fucking bullshit hellscape boring-ass dystopia, being trans can fuck people up out of house and food.
Sorry, let my opinions get the better of me for a moment.
Nah that’s absolutely valid. I feel lucky to be in a workplace with a union, a gay CEO, and a prominent LGBTQ club that ensures every employee has what they need to succeed. Earlier this year I pointed out that the complimentary gym doesn’t have gender neutral showers and within a week met with the head of the legal dept and head of facilities to figure out how to implement one.
I dig the glasses!
Yup I agree with glasses comment, I dig them!
Being cis I can’t say I am bothered in the slightest, but sorry most people make you feel that way. Terrible that is the culture we have currently.
I love your look! Is that purple(?) thing like basically sleeves with a hoodie you pop over things? Whatever it is, it’s fab and I want one.
Seconding. Love plague doc asthetic.
That’s actually my wife (not pictured) who rolls that aesthetic. I just try to dress like the protagonist of a yet-unreleased Final Fantasy. :D
It’s black, actually! Came from here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/548441223/dams-deluxe-apocalypse-militant-shrug?ref=yr_purchases
Granted, I’m wearing it in a less-revealing way than the creator intended.
This vest, in black, is over the top of it: https://www.mishuboutique.com/products/copy-of-neelix-v2-vest?srsltid=AfmBOoqfOAC5IcENC_N0wNjG6kBhafvPoHAXly_UiVuVEARdzQcNOkn4
Not pictured (but seen in older posts of mine) is: https://www.mishuboutique.com/products/leather-eclipse-silver
That shrug (TIL lol) is so cool, but now that I see that the vest is full length I honestly don’t know which I love more!
If I could afford it (and left the house more than once in a blue moon), my wardrobe would be full of these kinds of pieces. 😍
(E: also - why the fuck would anyone downvote you?? 😂)
I’ve got posts in my history that should show you more of my insane wardrobe. :D
Will definitely have a non-stalkery look lol
Also you do you with the downvotes, I’m just glad it isn’t someone trolling the post/community to be an ass.
I knew I’d seen those glasses before (I’m terrible at remembering faces lol), I now recall seeing your post of you and your wife and thinking how cute you both are!
Also you’re killing it in the thigh highs and leather skirt.
I would absolutely raid your wardrobe lmao 😊
(Those downvotes are coming from me—I think it’s presumptuous to give me my own approval. However, what I do isn’t what others should do, do what works for you.)
i like your funky glasses :D
Looking great! Genuine cis question, when I come across fabulous looking trans people, I get really conflicted, I want to look and admire and wonder and praise, but I’m nervous that they’d really just like to blend in and not be ogled. I guess I often end up “staunchly not looking”. What’d you prefer if it was you?
I mean, I’m not out here wearing a t-shirt and jeans for compliments; I’m out here looking like a Final Fantasy protagonist cause it makes me feel good. Also cause I want other queer people to notice too.
That said, my wardrobe goes from naked, through one single pair of pajamas, to a vast and fantastic wardrobe of no pants whatsoever and insane outfits.
not op, but personally im never opposed so somebody complimenting me as long as it comes across as a genuine compliment (ex: i like your style/outfit/vibe) and not somebody just trying to hit on me or something.
(edit: lol actually i love to be hit on im a slut but shhhhhh)
I’m ace and sex-repulsed, so I don’t much appreciate getting hit on, but I mostly just hope I get compliments from other cool queers (which usually happens; it’s just cishets with their razor sharp focus and katalepsis-esque inability to see).
yeah I always get comfy around queer people then some cis het dude sees that, comes in, and makes everybody uncomfortable, never fails.
Saaaame
Hey baby, looking fit … ;)
Before I was on hormones and maybe in the first 6 - 8 months on HRT, I had so many usually cis, white, liberal women (one time a cis white liberal dude) come up to me and compliment my dress / skirt / whatever. I take it as a sign I’m passing more that nobody does that anymore, lol.
It’s pretty nuanced, I think. I pass well enough (or not really, I don’t care anymore) and just want to be left alone. I’m sure the compliments come from a place of support, but it just feels like being lied to.
I’m probably an outlier. 🤷🏻♀️
I think it’s important how it comes across, like when you’re complimenting cis people. So, context and what it is that you’re complimenting is what I would pay attention to.
That being said, I love getting compliments haha.
Compliments! :D
Joke’s on you, I try staunchly and vehemently not to look at cis people too.
PS: Amazing drip
Everything I’ve got is drip. Nothing casual. 180mph, all the time, all gas no brakes.
I’m cis, and I hate any type of attention, so I’m with you!
Plus, you look great!
Hell yeah!
Well intentioned cis outsider here, so I hope this comes across in the spirit it’s intended.
For better or worse, I can imagine that this decision would ironically make many people more comfortable, as they wouldn’t experience the same level of perceived gender …dissonance(?). Whatever the case, you don’t need me to tell you that it’s certainly not your job to adjust your identity or presentation to please people, and it’s a rad look - I don’t think I could help but take a bit of an admiring look tbh.
But don’t get me wrong; I’m not giving up; I’m very much she/her, but that’s more in a sense of “I’m just not gonna dress like the women around me, I got my own style to maintain,” and that style simultaneously filters out most cis folk, and gives queers something to compliment, an easy in to start talking with me.
Self-selection at work!
With a look like that, you strike me as the last person to give up tbh.
Whatever the case, I appreciate people with the… whatever it is to express themselves like you - even if I’m a vanilla cishet black T and jeans everyday kinda guy - selfishly, the fact that you are who you are and do what you do gives me hope that we’re (painfully slowly) creeping forward toward better things as a society… the kind of nonsense you endure notwithstanding.
Don’t change for anyone - you seem rad as-is.
I guess I fall outside cisdom, but your kit would have me staring unsubtly!
Those glasses are cool!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen/noticed a pair of asymmetric frames before, they’re so hecking cool!
Another of the CIS horde spilling in from All, checking in…
If you catch me staring, it’s cuz you look like a Witcher. All you’re missing is a sword or two.
10/10
Bonus pts for the bone conduction! I got a pair a few months ago and fucking love em.
Also my god, bone conduction is lifesaving. A dynamic score that only I can hear? Hell yeah.
If mine (Shockz Openrun Pro) are any indication, there’s still some sound leak if they’re turned up a bit, especially with the higher pitch sounds. Significantly less than with a normal headphone or ear pod, but definitely can’t blast it without sharing whatever you’re listening to with anyone around you.
I’ve seen them advertised as ‘zero sound leak’ which is a bit misleading.
Mine are Openrun Pro 2, and they don’t seem to leak; had my wife check at five feet while I had them at max volume.
I’m actually aiming for more of a modern-to-future Final Fantasy aesthetic! I’ve other outfit photos elsewhere buried in my post history.
(Oh and this weekend I’m wearing a literal white mage coat to the symphony!)
I’m not super familiar with Final Fantasy. Played FFX, but none of the others.
…not really sure why; I did enjoy FFX, just haven’t ever gone beyond that. /shrug.
In any case, your wardrobe sounds like it’s got high fantasy written all over it, which is pretty awesome!
You should start referring to people as “my brave traveler” and offer quests
Nah, I’m more into modern Final Fantasy, less so D&D and such.
I’m gonna be wearing this outfit, sprinting flat-out up the side of a skyscraper, holding some badass technosword, on my way to kill god, who’s looming over the city, amidst night time, rain, and city-wide panic.
It’s absolutely a vibe.
Also you want a quest? Here’s a quest:
DRINK WATER
Reward: one body happiness.
Do this before the other person who has the quest does it.
Questioning my cisosity because you have a look so endlessly fascinating i could stare all day
