personally im a firm believer in the shut the fuck up and be quiet camp.
Who cares if you talk. If you have something to talk about, talk about it, if not, don’t it’s that simple.
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The key to understanding is finishing the sentence.
“I hate small talk… with people I have no reason to talk to and don’t care about.”
I love my partner, and even when it’s small talk I can listen all day, just to hear their voice and learn a little more about them, to feel closer to the person I married in many small ways.
But I don’t care about what Jim at the laundry mat did last weekend, or which machine he thinks makes socks dry faster.
I kinda want to know about the sock thing.
So you’re a small talk person
Sock drying speed is important information, not time filler like the weather or sports.
Unless the sport is competitive sock-drying.
The weather is life and death info
Most people talk about how sunny it is today and not climate change
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But I don’t care about what Jim at the laundry mat did last weekend, or which machine he thinks makes socks dry faster.
tough. :) here’s what he (might have) said: it’s the 2nd and 3rd dryers from the left. the smaller ones. you also need to use the smaller ‘double load’ front-loading washers. those have an extra extract cycle and get the most water out. the dryers used to literally only cost 25c to dry most loads (an extra quarter for all denim or something), but they (new owners of the laundry) increased the minimum needed per-load to $1.50 (on top of more than doubling the washers’ prices). greedy bastards.
But small talk is what got you your wife. What if Jim can be your future if you just gave him the time
Yeah, this one met its rider when it was searching for other worlds and happened upon drag performing a healing rite to a sickly dragon. How could one not love that that kind of power used for good?
Drag didn’t get drag’s dragon by doing small talk. Drag’s dragon fell in love with drag because it was impressed with drag’s magic.
Get yourself a girlfriend by impressing her with your arcane talents.
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Same! It isn’t so much the small talk, but being stuck making small talk with a stranger or coworker/distant relation or whatever that you have no interest in speaking to.
Which… is pretty much the definition of small talk. If I’m making small talk, it’s because I don’t want you to feel awkward with the silence, which means I don’t know you well enough to know what you prefer.
This is why I hate getting haircuts. I don’t have any personal relationship with the person cutting my hair. Maybe we’ll find a common interest, but if I could just wear earbuds the whole time and not seem like an asshole, I would. But instead I just shave my head when my hair gets long enough to annoy me.
I am right there with you. I get haircuts very rarely because of this.
Yeah, I agree. I’m more social than I was ~10 years ago but that’s because I’ve found good people to surround myself with. Back then I would’ve said I hate small talk. I didn’t hate small talk, I hated the people I was talking with.
My wife is a VERY quiet person. She doesn’t say a lot but when she does it’s because she actually has something to say. This made me nervous when we were first dating but I’ve learned to embrace it. Silence is OK. She definitely talks more than she used to but we don’t have to talk all the time. Sometimes she just looks at me and smiles without saying anything and in those moments I know that I am loved.
She’s thinking of how she’ll dispose of the bodies. 😁
Drag doesn’t like jokes about how people who socialise differently are serial killers.
This poor individual has never been in a lasting relationship.
If you can’t talk, in full, with your partner such that you somehow need small talk, that’s not a relationship, it’s a one night stand that happens to last for 3 months to a year.
As other people in this thread have said, it’s usually more about the person than it is the topic. I’m happy to hear my wife talk about the weather tomorrow but if the guy behind me in line at the store does it I’m answering in grunts and annoyed expressions.
I tell jokes. I don’t really do small talk. But, yes most conversations are deeply personal and deeply philosophical. I have lots of great friends, a lovely wife, a good job and fantastic kids. So yes, you can do just fine with almost no small talk. Become yourself, not what some unimaginative poster on the internet desperate for validation of their opinions thinks people should or shpuldnt become.
good job
Extrovert cannot comprehend being quiet.
Wonder if Twitter person who made that comment just has people who don’t want to have small talk with them
Not just extroverts. I’m pretty introverted but I’m also the type of person who is very heavy on verbal communication and I tend to get a lot of my affirmation through words.
Being “still” is a learned skill for me.
Someone once pointed out to me that what I consider small talk might be someone else’s important.
Sure it might seem like gossip or chat about the weather just for the sake of talking but it can equally be someone trying to say that they are lonely and need reassurance.
I think about that a lot and I’ve become a lot more tolerant. Besides, you can segue into some pretty big chat from such humble starts.
This is a great way to think about it, goes along nicely with the idea that even the smallest acts of care can have a huge impact on someone’s day. Simply engaging with someone a little can be enough to make them feel better. It might even be fair to say it’s What We Owe To Each Other (for fans of moral philosophy, and/or The Good Place 😉).
I also had a workplace where the admin kept accusing us of “gossiping” about them. The misogynistic implications were not lost on a group of (mostly) female nurses who were actually mostly discussing how they were being horribly mistreated by their superiors. These people were really tryna act like we were bullying them; our bosses. YOU CAN’T BULLY YOUR BOSS.
The issue is that a lot of small talk is superficial or even dishonest, like the stereotypical question of how you are. Because, no, they don’t actually want to hear about your problems. They want you to say “good and you?”, and will answer equally dishonest. It’s one of my biggest issues with it because I really don’t care about talking about things that none of us actually care about. If you don’t want to know how I am, don’t ask. If you have nothing better to say than moan about the weather (which is almost always either too hot, or too cold, or too rainy, or too snowy, etc), then don’t even bother with yapping me up.
Idk that I really do small talk OR do philosophical conversations with my partner but I’ll let you judge. Here’s the sort of things me and my partner say to each other throughout the day:
- wanna play [whatever co-op we’re into lately]? (Then several hours of strategy discussions)
- did you eat all the chips again you FUCKER followed by BITCH WHAT IF I DID YOU ATE ALL THE OREOS???
- If all dogs go to heaven do their people have to be there for it to be a dog heaven and does that mean hitler is in heaven because he had a dog?
- miscellaneous bitching about our jobs
- wanna fuck
- the dog pissed in the elevator again it’s your turn to go clean it
- did you see the sweater I put the cat in?
- Debates about whether or not a taco is a hot dog or vice versa
- how many toys do you wanna get out for the fucking and more importantly how many are you willing to clean
- that book you made me read is really melodramatic but I agree it’s about black mold.
- we should go visit the hot tub vs no it’s too fucking cold vs that is the point of it being a HOT tub
- wanna play cards against humanity with the cat
- debates about who will hold the cat while we trim her claws
- yelling at each other for being too loud while the other is sleeping and which offense is fundamentally more heinous (dayshifter vs nightshifter)
- discussing the biopunk visuals in lexx and how they would have made all the butthole windows out of fabric
Ok what is this melodramatic book about black mold? Any other fungus books you can recommend?
Troubled Blood by JK Rowling
Lmao the black mold is taking over, she’s writing books about it now
talking about weird internet personalities like chrischan or the tile patterns guy
Oh my god, there’s fuckery on the internet?! I’m out of the loop on the tile patterns guy. What happened?
Deadwingdork has a great 4chan series
Plan…?
Imagine having a relationship based on talking about the weather today. I talk about things I enjoy talking about. If I don’t have anything to say then quiet is peaceful. 😊
The weird shit in my head is not suitable for public utterance. I can give you engaging statements or appropriate statements, but one statement that is both requires far more effort.
Small talk with strangers, acquaintances, neighbors is draining even when I like those people. Those closest to me do not require appropriate statements, so with them it never feels like small talk.
Ha, jokes on them! I haven’t been in a relationship in about a decade and I don’t see that ever changing so I don’t need small talk!
…wait. Who’s the joke on?
:P
but seriously free will does not exist.
But I saw him jump over those rocks in the movie, Free Willy has to exist!
Is there any meaningful difference if it’s an illusion? We experience existence as if it does exist.
I think it makes the most difference in how we treat crime and punishment. If you accept that there is no free will, then the concept of punitive sentences is unhelpful at best, or barbaric at worst.
