If you don’t want to handle people at their worst don’t have kids!
I’ll have you know I am much worse than a child!
I don’t doubt that, I’m pretty sure you’re old enough that now not even your parents have to deal with you 😝 (Just kidding riding the joke of course, no offense meant)
When somebody is going trough a mental crisis, I also shun them into loneliness. I only want good vibes! /s
The only thing that matters between friends is real vibes, like truth, respect and understanding of pain. Sometimes we do indeed have to set up a boundary, but not in the general sense as this Twitter quote claims. There is no black and white, and kicking people away for going trough a hard time is not healthy in the long run whatsoever.
“Going through a mental crisis” doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re treating your friends like shit. If you treat your friends like shit, and that drives them away, whose fault is that?
There are, of course, exceptions, but those have to be people whom I care for and love very, very much. And even then, if the toxicity is too damaging to my own mental health, I have to cut them off for my own good. At the end of the day, all human relations rely on a cost/benefit analysis. If I’m losing more than I’m gaining from this relationship, why should I continue it?
I also don’t think you’re doing that person any favors by ignoring their bad behavior.
t the end of the day, all human relations rely on a cost/benefit analysis. If I’m losing more than I’m gaining from this relationship, why should I continue it?
I would drop a person that thinks like this in an instant.
I also don’t think you’re doing that person any favors by ignoring their bad behavior.
Nobody said anything about ignoring. People can help people, yet lately they only think of themselves.
Would you really maintain a relationship with somebody who made you unhappy? Somebody who abused you? Somebody who didn’t respect you? And if so, why?
People can help people, yet lately they only think of themselves.
Why “lately”?
It’s not only thinking of yourself. It’s thinking about yourself and the people who aren’t fucking you up. If somebody has a history of toxic behavior, then you have to take that into account. If you let that affect you, you’re A) harming yourself and B) are less able to help the people who actually do love you and respect you.
Ah, so you’re including abuse. Well abuse is a no go ofcourse. All the rest is just something you’ll have to live with and first reflect upon yourself. If somebody suddenly respects you less, maybe you’re not being respectful either. Regarding the unhappy argument. I find that extremely selfish. My friends are not MEANT to make me happy. They are meant to be there when I’m unhappy. Sometimes they’ll have to “make me unhappy” to make me realize my mistakes. That’s what friendship is all about. If somebody drops you for being at your worst, they are worse.
healthy boundaries are a secret weapon in securing and keeping happy relationships.
This is good!
