Never stick your dick in crazy.
Ever.
If a friend tries, you stop them. It never ends well.
I feel this is something you can’t teach. Everyone needs to learn for themselves…
Some multiple times…
What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. Some men, you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it! Well? He gets it! I don’t like it anymore than you may.
Classic
2 or 3 or 7 times, even.
Man, I wish I could have avoided option 2.
I learned the hard way…
Anyway, I just found a girl that I like and we have so much in common!
Specifically 2 things!
She’s a bit much sometimes, but I can fix her.
Option 1 sounds like a boring hell and option 2 sounds like an active hell.
I would pick 2. At least there would be some good and fun moments between the really bad ones. And sharing interests is an important part for me.
deleted by creator
AVOID #1!!!
Better to be alone and free to think and explore than to be tethered to someone that holds you back from exploring life. Sex is a fucked up drug addiction without an opt out for most of us. I’ve made a lot of effed up decisions, but not marrying any of my 3 long terms was not one of them.
I don’t know about y’all, but I changed a whole lot every 5 years since 20. I feel more settled in my late 30’s Getting disabled at 29 shakes my perspective away from any kind of norm. I can’t imagine those changes meshing with anyone else and surviving this long.
As a guy nearing 60 I support your stance.
The choice is not these two women. The choice is how to live your own life.
I’m about 3 or 4 option #2s behind you but I agree. Glad to see older anons still with it.
I don’t necessarily disagree, and everyone is different, but you should consider that it’s not just you that changes. You change WITH your partner. You grow TOGETHER. I am absolutely different than I was 10 years ago, and so is she, but that doesn’t mean that we’re no longer compatible. Our growth contributed to each other’s growth.
I do think people should be maybe… less attached? You should regularly evaluate your relationship to see if it’s working. Shared interests aren’t even always necessary (as long as they at least show interest in what you like and vice versa). But that is very hard and many people would rather not be alone.
I don’t picture too many mates that can handle religious extremist conservative misogynist to atheist leftist open minded best intentions diversity ally. I could be wrong. Heck, in that span I’ve gained, dropped, and maintained more weight than anyone I’ve ever dated, going from ~250 to 350 to 187 and racing bicycles. I doubt I would have spent 3-4 hours a day on a bike while working 8-10 hours and racing on the weekend if I had married someone in my early 20’s. I’d probably still be in bad health. I’m not all that bright right now, but I was a whole lot dumber in the past and having someone around that reinforced my biases was certainly a factor in my growth and development. It is hard to say how things would be different. It gets super lonely at times, but my situation is not standard there.
I personally think that shared interests are far less important than shared values (as in equality, for example), and while it’s fun to have a partner who has shared interests I don’t necessarily think it’s a prerequisite. If you enjoy spending time with them and they’re a good person, that’s all that matters if you ask me.
Thank you. This comment resonates a lot with me, as despite it having been over a year I’m still struggling with coming to terms with having had to break up a 5 year-long relationship for my own good (it’s not that long in the grand scheme of things). The way I would describe it is that she was molding me into the person that I was expecting to become when the relationship started, which was totally different from the person I ended up evolving into. I am glad I did it, but I still struggle with the pain I caused her during the process.
I had back surgery last year at 29, and while I didn’t end up disabled, I’m seeing my life change in small ways because of it. It’s weird feeling so young but having to limit certain activities because you could become paraplegic if anything goes wrong.
I didn’t have anything to add to your comment, I’m just glad you posted it!
I married #2
Thank you for your service: one less #2 out of the market to tempt us.
I hate to say it, but after my experience, I firmly believe that all people with BPD should take voluntary vows of celibacy. They’re just incapable of being in a relationship without being abusive , eventually.
It’s a false dichotomy. Embrace polyamory.
Did. I’d rather be heart crushingly disappointed by one person at a time instead.
Polyamory is what happens when too many type 2 people get together in one place though
I’ll have you know I don’t have BPD, just ADHD!
Yeah my polycule is all adhd no bpd (though one woman was misdiagnosed with it 20 some years ago). It’s great, nice and stable.
Big criteria overlap between BPD and Complex PTSD.
Fair, and both she and I do have cptsd. But she’s autistic and traumatized. Apparently the doctors thought she was lying as a teenager when she said her mom was dating a “crack whore”.
Number one is actually a trap because she probably won’t understand you and still will do stupid things.
Never underestimate how girls love, option 1 works if shes into you enough she will learn your interests.
Option number 2 is the redtext but a dude.
And girl #1 in this scenario is supposed to be a girl who has her shit together and wants to go out with a guy who is on 4chan and who she doesn’t really share any common interests with? Doubt…
Been there, lost a lot.
Neither as far as being in a relationship, but #2 could be fine as a friend.
#2 is because anyone who feels this way is also a mentally ill, bpd with daddy issues
