Being aware of your own shortcomings and that you don’t like them is a gargantuan milestone, OP.

Most people are in extreme denial about who they are, and what their shortcomings are, and it leaves them very poor in regards to the potential to grow.

If you’re aware of and acknowledging things you don’t like about yourself: that’s actually a huge and powerful thing. You know what the things are about yourself that you that you want to improve.

Always remember, you don’t have to change completely overnight or anything, like you’re freaking Ebenezer Scrooge being visited by ghosts.

You can start by picking any one opportunity you see about yourself. “I don’t like that I (negative trait/action), so today I’m going to focus on (doing something positive regarding that trait/action).” Focus on that for a while… find joy when you succeed in being better. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail… just look at it as more opportunity to grow. Over time as you’re establishing positive habits, you can add new things to work on.

Your knowledge that you are on a journey of improvement and your determination are your superpowers.

I will say that if you decide that you want to grow for the better, definitely check in with the pros if you can, and not just random folks like me on the internet. But my point is, your self-acknowledgement is HUGE, and can be a tool you use to chisel your way to a better you. Don’t dwell on the past and keep beating yourself up about it… instead use it as your base to climb from. You’ve got this if you want it.