A childhood friend sold his business a year ago and bought a big yacht on the sound near where we both grew up. I also have a modest home nearby but nothing like his. For his birthday bash he pulled out all the stops, actually hiring some 90s rock celebs to be on his boat. I’m just kinda tired of the guy so I made up a white lie about being out of town. I wanted to spend the weekend relaxing with family and decompressing from a long hard work week. Anyway, his boat came by my place. He texted me a telephoto pic of me on my deck drinking a glass of wine. He called me an asshole for lying to him, and missing this “important” celebration. I’m just tired of him flaunting his wealth. Doesn’t seem like the guy I once knew, but I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. AITH?
Edits: fixed typos
You could’ve been up front with your friend and I don’t see why you lied to him. Your friend bringing his boat to your house is creepy, and he definitely overstepped. Based on what you’ve described, I’d say ESH.
Money or no money it’s shitty to miss someone’s birthday. Even if you were honest if you’re not willing to go to someone’s birthday party why are you guys friends? YTA
You’re the asshole to the normal extent that anyone who makes an excuse to skip a party is an asshole.
That being said, a party thrown by someone who is trying to be conspicuously wealthy is an excuse to drink for free, so skipping it is kind of lame.
You are NTA. Someone spying on you to prove you skipped their lame attention-seekinh shindig, is TA.
“Plans changed and I didn’t have the energy to be social.” Plus, once you’ve RSVP’d not going, it is rude to then show up…so remember that if he pushes for more.
Or you could level with him and explain you didn’t enjoy watching him flaunt his wealth, so you took your attitude and stayed home…because that is the nice thing to do.
But regardless, remember you are not obligated to hang out just because you are invited. It is okay to say you have other plans…even if they are literally just to stay home. Totally valid. NTA.
