Occasionally I have these days where I don’t feel like doing work or chores. So I’m thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?
But then I don’t find any motivation to do anything really. Not even the things I normally enjoy very much.
Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?
Depression sucks.
If it just unmotivated, make yourself go out. Set that as a goal. Just to get out of the house. Then work on doing something outside. A short walk , then look for some longer ones and try those.
My wife makes me take the dog on walks once a week and that helps
If it’s more, you might need therapy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Beyond walking the dog, I hate leaving the house. I can spike a panic attack doing the shopping.
Ymmv
You’re spot on. I don’t even notice it myself. But during these kind of days, I always just sit at home and do nothing. I like walking actually, but for some reason my motivation for that drops as well and then I don’t feel like going outside either. But it always helps, even if I don’t feel like it.
I’d love to have a dog or cat at home, but I don’t think I have the financial means at the moment. And I don’t want to get one if I don’t think I’ll be able to take care of it properly.
I just girlrot til it’s over. Can’t force motivation. Best thing is to learn what stuff over depleted it and plan around that for the future.
Sometimes it’s pretty clear, but other times it feels like I had a great week and then suddenly I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.
Never heard of ‘girlrot’ before, learned something new :) It’s definitely a good description of what i’ll end up doing most of these times.
Since it usually stops within a week, I fully engage in the routine for that time
I got nothing to add to the comments already written but wanted to say “thanks for sharing”, 'cause I’m in this mood now for weeks. It’s like I’m waiting for something to happen without knowing what this something is. Luckily I’m going on holidays a few weeks from now. So: Thank you for sharing.
Hope you will feel better soon. It sucks if it lasts for weeks. And it can be so difficult to get out of it.
Lately I’ve started forcing myself to do nothing during those moments, like literally nothing. I set a timer for an hour and then turn off my phone and computer and lay down or just sit and kind of stare at a wall.
The boredom is horrible but the good news is that by the end of the hour, usually my mind has come up with a few things it would rather do than nothing.
Also, sometimes I can’t make it the full hour doing nothing but I only let myself do productive/healthy things like reading or doing dishes. It’s not really enjoyable but by the end of the hour it does feel slightly good that I was slightly productive.
Idk if it’ll work for you and idk if I’ll be able to keep doing it, but maybe it’s worth a shot. Tell me how it goes if you try it lol.
Light depression can be caused by a lot of things, and doesn’t mean you have clinical depression. Things that work for me:
- Be more active. No, I dont mean you have to go kill yourself working out. Just go for a short walk.
- Disconnect from media and technology. If you use social media, get away from it for 24 hours. People don’t talk about it enough but it’s literally engineered to give you constant dopamine so you get addicted to it. Overall if you’re in front of a computer all day, just get away from it and go make a trip. Even just to get groceries.
- Sleep. The one everyone loves making memes about. Truthfully though if your sleep schedule is super fucked, it can be a big problem causer. Not sure that’s a word. You get me though.
Good luck friend. I’ve been there several times. Nothing sucks more than not knowing what to do to make yourself happy.
Walking definitely does help me. And my sleep is fine as far as I can tell. Disconnecting is an issue though, I feel like all my hobbies are related to using the computer and I work as a software engineer, so very difficult to avoid being exposed to / reminded of online media and such.
Still didn’t find a good solution for this. But I do notice that If I meditate regularly, it’s easier to avoid spending all day on my computer.
If walking is easier than cutting screen time maybe try a walking pad or under desk treadmill. May need a monitor arm if you can afford it, but it’ll help to be more active. At the end of the day these are just suggestions. Burn out is real and can easily be an explanation as well. Happened to me when I was WFH and basically at the computer for 12+ hours a day.
I feel like WFH actually helps me because I have more control over my time and can actually take breaks instead of having to pretend to be busy all the time. But in reality, I did spend much more time just in front of my desk and forcing myself to look at my screen, even though I’m not doing anything useful at the moment.
Often I was working, having meetings and eating, all at my desk. And then in the evening, I keep sitting at my desk and just start browsing or gaming. After a while, it’s no wonder one becomes depressed.
For some reason I feel it’s unfair though. Like why do I need to spend my free time meditating, doing sports, and maintaining my physical and mental wellbeing, just to be able to keep working for 8 hours a day? Isn’t it enough that they already get 8 hours? Even worse for people that used to commute for multiple hours each day in the past.
These may be depressive symptoms. It may be a good idea to find someone close to you to talk to, and keep them up-to-date about the situation. Make sure it’s someone you trust and can open up to. It may also help to seek professional help if you feel it is getting worse or if you experience physical symptoms as well. We all have a need for genuine human connection, and talking to someone can help. It may make it easier for you to get back in touch with your more positive emotions, to ‘snap’ back into that positive or happier state of mind where things make sense like they usually do. Hope this helps. Much love from the Netherlands. ❤️
Heel erg bedankt voor je suggesties!
I’m living in a different country now, and can only contact my friends in the evening hours (And I find it very difficult to talk to them about these kind of things.) My partner is very helpful for me, but I cannot expect them to deal with my worries all the time (I also don’t want to drag them down.)
Professional help would be useful, but thus far, I have not found anyone that really seemed to understand my situation. I find it very difficult to connect with anyone, even with my parents and friends I often have to push myself to keep any meaningful connection.
Write stuff down, write down why you should do things or not do them. When you need to regroup, read what you wrote. It helps me, but ymmv
This does help me a lot actually. I sometimes write a bit too much though. One of the reasons I started working on getting better is because of journalling.
Um yeah, dat me. My tendency to do that is born of low self-worth, poor diet, exhaustion from capitalism-related horrors, frustration at my lot in life as a trans autist, and indignance towards the billionaires and the bigots enabling them.
How to snap out of it? No god damned idea. I’m so close to being able to pick up and move from Texas to Portland (if I can just get offered any one of the two dozen teaching jobs for which I have applied) where I hope that my mood spikes up a bit because of the locals and the locale. Apart from uprooting my entire life, I genuinely don’t think there is a way for me in particular to escape this rut.
Good luck to you.
Is somebody ever completely demotivated with everything?
Yep, that’s called depression.
How do you deal with it?
Medication. Time. Continued effort. IMO, success in life isn’t measured by completion. It’s measured by getting back up after you fall. Amount of progress isn’t the most important thing. Any progress, at all, is infinitely better than none.
Occasionally I have these days where I don’t feel like doing work or chores. So I’m thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?
Yep, have those all the time. I wait for them to pass and then when my energy comes back, I do all the things. It’s frustrating because I’m waiting on some unknown energy to decide to make my brain work today.
Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?
Yep. Same feeling. I like a few videos here and there, mostly sciency ones, but when I start mindless scrolling, it makes me feel worse and I stop. I usually do something light activity, small task, to get the ball rolling. Clean for 5 minutes. Only 5. Set a timer. I can stop after that. If I want, I can keep going, but stopping is fine.
At some point, I even anticipated wasting too much time browsing or playing games. So I uninstalled steam and blocked websites like reddit and youtube.
I ended up just reading wikipedia articles for 4 hours straight. I always seem to find something to distract myself…
For me it seems to be more difficult to get out of this, Even if I can get myself to do some chores, or go outside for 5 minutes. But it’s definitely already better now than in the past.
Look up autistic burnout.
I have days like this.
I’ve discovered that I have an easy time doing things I kinda enjoy but not very much (video games, reddit), but I avoid things I really love (playing music, traveling, cooking).
Yeah, I also tend to postpone things that I love during these moments, possibly because I feel like I would not enjoy them fully.
I just think deep down a part of me think I don’t think I deserve real joy
Yeah, I feel you. How would you even counter this kind of feeling. Like everytime you are happy, you wouldn’t even allow yourself to really enjoy it. Because you feel like you don’t deserve it.
This is not a healthy coping mechanism but I bribe myself with cookies like I’m a dog. If I get up and put the laundry in the dryer I get a cookie. If I send that email I get a cookie. It usually works. It won’t really make me enjoy life but it does get me through it, if you know what I mean.
I wish I had an easy way to bribe myself. I’m not really that motivated by food, so during these kind of days, I often barely eat anything. Even some meal I enjoy greatly, will just feel like a chore to eat.
For me going for a walk in nature is the best. Second best is exercise.
Hi! Late to the party sorry.
I have gone through this, and similarly to what others say, I was able to pin point it to autism burnout. It’s a very steep climb out of the hole, and I wish you the best of luck.
Some things that have helped me in my journey:
- Whenever I am having a moment, using this site to figure out why and what I need: https://youfeellikeshit.com/index.html
- Therapy, specifically someone who is knowledgeable about autism and autism burnout
- Reading as much as I can about autism burnout and how it manifests (it can take months to years to dig yourself out)
- A good book, specifically around keeping house and chores, that has helped me a lot: How to Keep House While Drowning
- If you have the financial means, hiring help to take care of the things taking up space in your brain such as cleaning, food prep, and maybe even taking a leave for a while
Yeah, I think I’m in the digging out stage now. It seems to be very difficult for me to take care of myself while I have to work for income.
Thanks for the suggestions! I will look into the book, and the website is great (I made something like this myself in my linked notes)
Therapy seems to be a bit harder for me. I didn’t have anyone with specific experience, and found that the typical talk therapy does not really benefit me (I already spent years researching this myself, so it does not really help to have somebody else repeat it to me). I’ll try to find somebody, but seems like it’s quite difficult.
