I’m really stuck. I’ve been unhappy for years and we’ve done couple’s therapy and tried to reconnect, but it’s just not enough.
I have a bad habit of feeling guilty and responsible for everything and I just can’t see a future where I hurt my partner so badly. I don’t know how to sever myself from the relationship and alllllll of the stuff and responsibilities. My partner slacked off when it came to college internships so they’ve been unemployed for years, and now finally found a fast food job. But that means that if I leave, they’re done for. They can’t pay the mortgage alone, nevertheless the bills or food. They also mentioned in our therapy that their greatest fear is divorce and I don’t know if that’s because they’re still so attached to me or if it’s the fear of having to make it on their own.
How do I uproot their entire life over my unhappiness? That just doesn’t seem like something I could possibly do… but I can’t stay here, I’m withering away.
Help?
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Talk to a therapist by yourself. Don’t ask random strangers on the Internet.
Married for 4 in the relationship for 10. I said I’m not happy, you’re not happy… let’s go to couples therapy… She said only crazy people go to therapy.
I said I’m crazy then… Picked up the phone to call and she cried because “she wasn’t crazy”
I told her if she couldn’t put forth the effort to work with me on our relationship… Then I wasn’t either.
I moved into the spare room and then out shortly afterwards.
5 years later I’m remarried with a kid in a different part of the state.
My ex is a good person she and I just weren’t good together.
Just do it op. It’s not as scary as you imagine