My conspiracy theory is that every conspiracy theory boils down to hating Jews, and/or another race of people.
Once you get into the specifics of any conspiracy that doesn’t have a plausible motive (the difference between Illuminati doing everything and Cambridge Analitica), you just find a surface level “top 10 reasons I hate people” reasoning.I heard an interesting grand theory of conspiracy theories. Many people want the world to be well ordered and easily understood in black and white. Alas, the real world is chaotic, unpredictable, and confusing. To bridge that gap, they reach for religion, conspiracy theories, or both. Can’t comprehend evolution? The seven day creation story is nice, neat, and simple. Incredulous that humans could develop the technology to get to the moon? Clearly it is a clever Hollywood director.
Which creation account, though? The bible has two that are mutually exclusive.
Lol you removed my comment I guess I am on to something
Sounds like a conspiracy theory to me. Only admins can I think. But I definitely did not remove a comment.
Alright, glowie…
Shit, I think I know that reference. Is it the glow in the dark cia one?
I believe so (like you wouldn’t know) ;)
Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1966 and was replaced by a Canadian man the British government had kidnapped for that purpose. After extensive facial surgery he took on McCartney’s role and no one noticed it.
Apart from John Lennon who hid cryptic clues to Faul’s real identity and the real Paul’s fate in the lyrics of famous Beatles songs.
It’s true.
This is hilarious
Time Cube.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Cube
Pretty grim, but also pretty amazing if you smoke drugs about it.
Microsoft, the state of South Dakota, and the Freemasons have been infiltrated by the Unified Buttjones Imperial Court (UBIC), formed in 1834 by the merger of the Imperial Buttjones Society and the All-Ireland Industrial Arsing Federation. UBIC agents camouflage themselves as janitors, assistant product managers, or beagles, and spread an invisible green slime over toilet seats to infect the minds of their targets. Through this mental infiltration, they obtain control over the vazween or pony-flavored sector of the human soul, creating Inter-Vazween Buttjones Networks (IVBN) through repeated application of the Greater Invoking Pentacle of Pony Erotic Revelation (GIPPER). Using an apparatus constructed from illegal immigrants, UBIC uses the IVBN and GIPPER to insert bugs into Windows, Masonic initiations, and the Lewis & Clark State Recreation Area. Anyone who denies this obvious truth is a buttjones.
fubo is a buttjones. Dispatch and neutralize.
Oh, is this the new Scientology doctrine now?
Numerology
They are so unhinged that the doorknob has melted to the floor.
It also seeps into every other batshit conspiracy theory eventually. It’s huge in QAnon. If you see a number, pack your bags, it’s jover.
1+1 = 2
Do you know what else there were two of? The twin towers. How many planes hit the twin towers? Exactly two. How many times has my wife left me? Only once, but one day I will get the kids back. Fuck you judge McNally
10 digits, infinite bullshit
All the numerology I’ve see was either in the Bible or a post about some schizophrenic episode online. With how often the mentally ill will think they’ve found (messages from) God in their formulae and drawings, I’m not even sure if those two are disconnected.
That I’ve actually encountered irl? The Anti 1080 conspiracy in New Zealand.
Its members do things like go out and kill protected birds themselves and dump them because they think the Department of Conservation’s pest control plan is on behalf of the Illuminati who want to terraform NZ etc.
I’ve never encountered that theory before. As far as my exposure has been, most opposition to 1080 is based around bykill; the effect of the poison on non-target species.
The scientific evidence suggests that the number of natives killed unintentionally by 1080 drops is more than compensated by the increased survival rates of those who now suffer less predation, but walk into any pub and you’ll find half a dozen people throwing out anecdotes about silent forests in the days after 1080 drops.
Do they say what the Illuminati want to terra form NZ in to? Or is just the threat of any kind of terra forming enough?
It’s unclear to me. As far as I can tell they think the United Nations/Illuminati wants to poison the humans, birds, and mammals and … maybe get rid of farmland? Repurpose New Zealand somehow.
Some of them have physically attacked Department of Conservation staff, sabotaged vehicles, etc. They’re passionate about it.
Flat earth and that us Aussie are paid actors.
That’s just what an aussie would want us to think… 🤨 🤨🤨 /s
If they were really professional actors then their Kiwi accents would be more convincing.
If australia were real you wouldnt need to pretend to be australian. *Taps temple
I’m owed A LOT of backpay then!
Russiagate
What’s that?
Russia stole the Presidential election by hacking DNC and Podesta emails for WikiLeaks to publish so Russian asset reality tv star Donald Trump would win? But also it was Russian bots and memes that did the trick? LMAO.
In reality, Clinton stole the primaries from Bernie and made sure her opponent would be Trump who she believed would be a weak opponent, by getting her media mates to constantly talk about him. This ‘pied-piper’ strategy was a massive own-goal. So she blamed Russia for her own failures and of course everyone ran with it.
The somewhat annoying thing that some Liberals do online where they blame Russia for everything bad that happens. It started shortly after the 2016 election when people started believing that Trump was a puppet being controlled by Putin.
If this is the most unhinged conspiracy theory they’ve ever heard of, they have lived a very boring life so far. This is just a bog-standard political delusion, and it doesn’t even include the supernatural stuff that makes a truly unhinged conspiracy theory weird as shit.
‘Some liberals’ - you mean all of blueanon? Democrats, Msnbc, cnn, etc.
It’s unhinged because this sort of Russophobia may very well lead to WW3 and nuclear armageddon. Also because it has no basis in fact whatsoever. It’s every bit as unhinged as the ‘The Jews rule the world’ one.
Russia manipulated the results of the US election via a twitter mind hack. A couple of guys posted a meme that was so powerful that everyone who saw it wanted to vote for Trump.
No seriously. That’s what people believe.
No that is not seriously what people believe lmfao
But you’re from a shitposting instance so not sure what I expected
So what do you believe?
Here’s some links to refresh your memory.
The Hard Truths and High Cost of the Russiagate Scandal
The Press Will Learn Nothing From the Russiagate Fiasco
Stop whining about what instance is what and use your words.
Ah yes, all three of those links say that people believe:
Russia manipulated the results of the US election via a twitter mind hack. A couple of guys posted a meme that was so powerful that everyone who saw it wanted to vote for Trump.
Thanks for linking opinion pieces from Rolling Stone, though. You’re clearly more informed than me.
Thanks for the additional proof of the viral Twitter meme thingie you originally claimed!
Thank goodness you commies are all so smart, the next vanguard of the people right there 🫡
Qantas used to have a ‘u’ in it, but they changed their name so now you don’t even know!
Flat Earth.
It’s not the most immediately shocking, not the most colorful and dramatic, but there are two factors where no other conspiracy theory can compete:
- It is so easily falsifiable that basically more people would have to be in on the conspiracy than not.
- Nobody would stand to gain anything from the lie.
Yeah, at least with something like the fake moon landing conspiracy, there is a clear motive for it. Like the USA and USSR both had very strong propaganda machines and really strong incentives for hitting the next space race milestone.
The tech was barely advanced enough to perform the functions necessary to complete the mission, everything was pushed to its absolute limits to successfully perform.
But the flat earth thing has none of that. The tech necessary to demonstrate the curvature of the earth existed thousands of years ago and in fact was believed pretty widely by even ancient peoples.
There exists no motive, no incentives, and requires believing that basically all of known physics is completely wrong dispute thousands of obvious counter-examples.
Just stupid.
If the US had fixed the moon landing, the USSR would have been all over it. There’s no way they would have let that slide. One option, however, is that the US and USSR were working together in secret, and the whole space race was faked. The USSR got all the major early contributions and exchange for letting the US claim the honor of the moon landing. (This also requires disregarding every other space program, but at least there’s internal consistency)
“Israel is the most moral army in the world”.
Much like flat earth, Zionists have crafted an entirely alternate reality to justify their Nazi-like worldview by making up new lies daily to justify their previous lies being debunked.
The amount of mental gymnastics Zionists perform to pretend israel is following international law is absolutely breathtaking. For every debunk of their lies they come up with a new lie until the lie is so advanced that you need to sit through a 6 hour debate with Norman Finkelstein until they admit that “they actually don’t care about international law anyways and it’s antisemitic”.
“Michelle Obama is a man”
The wider “every woman I don’t like is a trans man” conspiracy theories as well. Greta Thunberg, Taylor Swift, you name it, they’re all men pretending to be women for some reason I can’t grasp.
I’m still not sure if this is a conspiracy theory or mental illness. On the other hand, good on the trans community for transitioning so well that the hateful conservatives can no longer tell who’s trans or cis.
There is a fellow kiwi that debunks conspiracies (mostly flat earth) on youtube that has come out as trans (@Planarwalk). The utter vitriol that has been directed at her since she came out (and a little before as she at that stage tended towards effeminate) has been incredible to see. Trans people must be some of the strongest folk around.
thats not a conspiracy theory
I’ll bite. What’s the proof?
Is Michelle Obama’s penis in there?
The fast food chain Dairy Queen is different than those branded “DQ”. It is not a real Dairy Queen unless it is written out fully and does not use the DQ logo on the store. I will not elaborate further nor eat at DQ. There are still a few real stores in really small towns.
real stores
You say real, I say old. Potato-tomato, tomahto-potahto, let’s go have some real snacks.
Great now I have to check out my Dairy Queen.
Don’t you mean your Donkey Qong?
I actually think it’s those that get so close to the truth, before veering to the right and blaming minorities instead of those who are really to blame (by design of those who are really to blame, of course) - blaming Jews for controlling the banks and the media (it’s the obscenely rich), blaming immigrants for poor work conditions/no jobs (it’s the obscenely rich), blaming disabled people for being a burden and leeching off the tax payer (it’s the obscenely rich), blaming whichever generation is currently in young adulthood for “destroying industries” (it’s the obscenely rich), and so on and so on…
I guess they make me angriest because the truth clearly isn’t outside of the people who believe the conspiracy’s grasp, they’d just rather punch down, solve nothing, but continue to have minor feelings of superiority (which really ties in with the key to all belief in conspiracy theories - “I have special knowledge you don’t”), than punch up and actually try to resolve the issues they whine about…
Not quite related to the initial post topic, but “Every billionaire, deserves the electric chair.” is a phrase I’ve been spouting for the past few years. I like to think it’s a more extreme version of “Eat The Rich.” but probably not as catchy nor as easy to spraypaint onto stuff.
And on the liberal side they do the same thing except conservatives are the scape goat. Super frustrating.
Liberals play along plenty in to the division sown by the ruling class, but lets be fucking clear - conservatives choose to be that way, and are actively and vocally contributing to the problem, unlike Jews, immigrants, disabled people and so on…
Is working class conservative Joe Shmoe responsible for the system and the one who needs to be removed from society? No, they’re as much a victim of it (and its brain washing propaganda) as any other working class person, and sure, many liberals fail to see this, but to compare calling out people who choose to actively support open and proud oppressors for their contribution, to scapegoating the people they oppress for existing as who they are, for the problems of society, is fucking gross.
E: seriously, conservatives uphold conservatism - there is no conspiracy. 🤦♀️
Yeah…I guess I just meant that average liberals tend to blame average conservatives instead of the rich (while average conservatives basically blame everyone who doesn’t conform to their exact ideals instead of the rich).
Not sure I agree that conservatives can both “choose” to be like they are, and also be the victims of their upbringing in a toxic system. These 2 points you made seem to be contradictory.
I agree many liberals fail to see that the average conservative is also a victim of this system, and that conservatives are brainwashed to think what they believe is a good thing.
I don’t think I made the comparison you’re saying I made. I’m sorry it came across that way. Calling out asshole conservatives for being assholes is fine as long as it’s with the understanding that they don’t know any better because the rich have them so brainwashed. And then follow it up by trying to convince them that the rich are the problem, not the immigrants etc. But to stop at blaming average conservatives, without recognizing the rich as the fundamental problem, I think, has the same end result as conservatives blaming everyone that’s even slightly different than them… No one points at the rich.
Not sure I agree that conservatives can both “choose” to be like they are, and also be the victims of their upbringing in a toxic system. These 2 points you made seem to be contradictory.
Not really.
We are all subjected to the same propaganda, yet we’re not all conservatives, that’s enough to prove that there is choice involved (even if the choices are limited, and opinions externally influenced by and for the ruling class), but more to the point - no one is born conservative, and no one is forced in any way to support one political party or another, political affiliation isn’t something someone can’t help or control or change, making it a choice, unlike race, gender, sexual orientation, abledness, place and circumstances of birth, and so on, which are not.
Technically the choice exists for them… But if they’re never introduced to it can they be expected to know it exists? If every single person in their lives… Their parents, teachers, preachers, everyone they see on TV… Only ever feed them the same crap, and any dissent is not just discouraged, but dangerous. I’m not sure they really CAN choose you know? Now, there is a lot of willful ignorance as well… Don’t get me wrong. And obviously there’s a difference between not knowing you have a choice, and actually not having a choice.
