You and another person can experience the exact same things and one can be traumatized while the other is not.
Telling your children lies can be traumatic no matter what the context is, because it teaches the kid not to believe what you say is true or to expect fuckery, a bit like the crying wolf thing.
Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?
Personally I’m good with my children being suspicious of me. Don’t trust me blindly just because I’m an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.
Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?
Depending on what you are telling them, you could be. If they are afraid of Santa and you use him as a boogeyman, absolutely. If you teach your kids that he is always watching and judging, and can be used to exact punishment against them, there’s potential for it to cause trauma.
Teaching kids little myths for fun is generally harmless, but inventing things for your kids to be scared of, especially to exert psychological control over them, can do real harm. Actively lying to children because you think they’re stupid or gullible just earns you a shit reputation with your kids as they grow older and realize you don’t have any respect for them.
Don’t trust me blindly just because I’m an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.
Or don’t trust you, because you told lies and destroyed the foundation of trust by doing so.
Love when everyone on the internet turns into a developmental psychologist because of some ribbing.
I’ve been bullied, beaten, hell I’ve watched people die. Those are traumatic.
Being asked to find a thing that doesn’t exist is not traumatic. It might be a little mean, but it does teach a lesson to use your head when you’re working on projects.
Are we doing pain olympics? Just because someone has it better or less immediately noticeable doesn’t mean it’s less valid. It might be less extreme but telling they don’t have trust issues because you saw someone die doesn’t help anyone.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. Being regularly expected to be and treated like a gullible idiot by people who have power over you isn’t fun either.
You and another person can experience the exact same things and one can be traumatized while the other is not. Telling your children lies can be traumatic no matter what the context is, because it teaches the kid not to believe what you say is true or to expect fuckery, a bit like the crying wolf thing.
Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?
Personally I’m good with my children being suspicious of me. Don’t trust me blindly just because I’m an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.
Depending on what you are telling them, you could be. If they are afraid of Santa and you use him as a boogeyman, absolutely. If you teach your kids that he is always watching and judging, and can be used to exact punishment against them, there’s potential for it to cause trauma.
Teaching kids little myths for fun is generally harmless, but inventing things for your kids to be scared of, especially to exert psychological control over them, can do real harm. Actively lying to children because you think they’re stupid or gullible just earns you a shit reputation with your kids as they grow older and realize you don’t have any respect for them.
Or don’t trust you, because you told lies and destroyed the foundation of trust by doing so.
Love when everyone on the internet turns into a developmental psychologist because of some ribbing.
I’ve been bullied, beaten, hell I’ve watched people die. Those are traumatic.
Being asked to find a thing that doesn’t exist is not traumatic. It might be a little mean, but it does teach a lesson to use your head when you’re working on projects.
Are we doing pain olympics? Just because someone has it better or less immediately noticeable doesn’t mean it’s less valid. It might be less extreme but telling they don’t have trust issues because you saw someone die doesn’t help anyone.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. Being regularly expected to be and treated like a gullible idiot by people who have power over you isn’t fun either.