• OBJECTION!@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    I wish I could get paid to post, but unfortunately, I signed a noncompete agreement with George Soros for a role as a paid actor in a false flag mass shooting so now I’m not allowed to be a paid actor in any other conspiracy theories. I’m just opposing genocide pro bono to keep my posting skills sharp so that I can apply once my contract expires.

      • OBJECTION!@lemmy.ml
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        6 months ago

        So do I just send my resume to an embassy, or how does this work? I hope they don’t do in-person interviews, because I’m a Sasquatch and don’t want to expose my identity, but I do know some lizard people who might help me whip up a disguise if it comes to that. They mostly spend their time hanging around people with paranoid schizophrenia pretending to be normal people, so they’d probably be good references for this job, since it’s essentially the same thing.