i know i do need the body to stay intact so i can try to fuel socialist change but everytjing only gets worse, nothing gets better and the desire to do unspeakable things to the body and oppressors is very strong despite the lack of will to do so if that makes sense. how do i stop this

if i need to remove this please let me know (marked nsfw just in case) and please be safe /gen

  • Loki 胡洛奇 ☭@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    I tried it once and never again because it neither alleviated any pain nor did it even hurt so I can’t say I’m speaking from experience

    But I’d imagine methods that remove bad habits / form new better habits also work for sh

    So here’s some examples of what could help when you get urges/thoughts:

    Removing anything you use for sh from your house or at least make it inconvenient to access so the process of getting it might take long enough to make you change your mind

    Doing other things with your hands and body if you’re able to like cleaning, aggressive journaling, fidgeting, exercise, etc, just expending physical energy

    And potentially controversially I know natural psychoactives and psychedelics can help with habits and addiction, the latter of which literally mechanically rewires the brain but I’d highly advise against either if you’re not in a safe environment and or calm and healthy mental state

    Id also suggest having alcohol wipes around if your sh involves opening wounds because at the very least you shouldn’t have to worry about it leading to infections

    Just try not to feel guilty about doing that because that just makes it worse. It’s your body and yours to do whatever you want with, but I’d suggest expelling emotions through improving your body and environment rather than diminishing your body. At least with current technology you only get one for your whole conscious experience so try to at least be able to keep it safe and be comfortable in it despite how difficult or unideal that may be. As a person who’s disabled, and trans in ways more than just gender I absolutely despise my body it feels completely foreign to me and like someone else’s it just feels so wrong but despite that I still try and just accept it and work towards making it a better thing to inhabit and feeling less foreign, but it’s a very long process.

    • etacystis@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      1 month ago

      thing is i don’t actually sh i just fantasize about it, i don’t give a shit about the wellbeing of the vessel/body and inhabitant/mind, existing to help the global south is more important

      that and more simple things but those are selfish imho, i’m sorry you have to struggle with that and i’m here if you need anything /genuine