So yesterday I flipped my mom off. Bad, I know. Yes, it was wrong, yes, I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I was so angry at her yesterday that I just couldn’t stop myself.

It started on Saturday. My mom had made plans for my dad, sister and I to go to our grandma’s house, two hours away, to celebrate Halloween and go trick or treating. Yes, my sister and I are older, but we are still children at heart, plus the area we were going to had all kinds of teenagers (and adults) trick or treating, so we blended in just fine. When my mom told us the plan, she was very specific and stern, saying that we had to be out the door by 7:45 am. I knew there was no way that was going to happen, so I asked her about it, but she was very serious and insisted that we would be ready by then. I was the first one awake, and quietly went downstairs. Unfortunately, my dog heard me and barked, signaling my dad that I was out there. He asked me, “Are you going for a run this early?” I was annoyed but told him that I was not, but the reason I was up early was because we had to leave in 30 minutes. He was surprised but brushed it off. My mom and sister didn’t start getting ready until after 8 am, and we finally got out the door around 9:15. I was fine with this, but would prefer to know if there might be changes in plans/timing.

Once we were on the road, my sister became negative, asking how long truck or treating would be and saying she didn’t really want to go. My parents assured her it wouldn’t be long and it would be fine. We went to a few Halloween events shortly after we arrived, and after that, went to lunch. My sister again began to complain, saying she was tired and wasn’t in the mood to walk for hours trick or treating. My dad took notice of this, and replied, “As far as I’m concerned, you guys just got candy at the Halloween event, I’m fine with going straight home after this.” I was so upset. The whole plan was to spend time with my grandma and go trick or treating, and now my dad and sister didn’t want to go? I asked my parents about this privately afterwards, and they insisted that we would still be going trick or treating. I was so confused. Ultimately we went and had a good time. After that, though, I started getting really upset because of my Misophonia, My sister began to cough and clear her throat, And my parents don’t realize it, This noise still upsets me even as an adult.

On the way home, however, my sister continued to whine about being sad and having emotional problems since she had an IUD put in two days before. I understand that, but I wish she would’ve just told our parents privately without me in the car, as I absorb others emotions way too easily. Once we got home, she continued to complain. She originally wanted to have a friend over the next day, but then said she didn’t want to because our mom goes into a cleaning frenzy every time we have friends over. When this happens, my sister has a meltdown.

The next day, she complained about school and having missing work. She’s one of those people that cries over getting a B, and needs to get straight As all the time. She originally said she was jealous of me because I’m an athlete and my parents invested time in me. But they invest just as much time with her in band. She also said she was worried because she knew her parents would hate her if she didn’t do well in school. All the stuff inside, and I started getting upset. Then I began to complain to my mom. She did the whole emotional thing, And said that she didn’t want to listen to me vent at her for no reason, And then it just makes it harder for her to communicate with me. I thought this was unfair because she vents at me all the time.

Anyway, We were discussing some stuff about college, And I asked my mom if I could bump my meals Up to 15 meals a week instead of 10. She did the evil laugh and said that I don’t even eat 10 a week. I insisted to her that I do, along I have been using them, along with my dining dollars. She glared at me giving me the mean eyes, and said, “OK, show me.” I felt extremely embarrassed because she didn’t believe me, But even more so because I didn’t have any evidence, since the app on my phone doesn’t work half the time. I told her that I take pictures of my meals and send them to her all the time, and she said, “Well, sometimes you do.” I was so angry. Then she mentioned something about My college dorm being dirty. She hasn’t even seen it this year, and she accused me of being dirty, despite the fact that I clean it 2 to 3 times a week. She said the middle was so dirty last year that my dad was horrified, And that from now on every weekend, he’s coming up to clean it. I know this is a lie, because he told me it is, And secondly, He’s the dirty one, My mom literally just yelled at him for leaving clothes behind the toilet and trash behind the chair, and vented at him for living out of a duffel bag. She continued to talk about how I have organization problems because I’m autistic, and need disability services because I was special education as a kid, And I was at my breaking point. I flipped her off, and couldn’t stop myself. My mom got really mad, and said that if I ever did that again, that she was kicking me out of the house.

This is where the coddling comes in. My dad said this was a really extreme punishment, But I told my mom that I was fine with it. My mom is the reason I’m so successful. When my dad would coddle me all the time, I was nothing. I was a shy student With no plans for college or after high school, and didn’t have any adult skills. I was so close to going to the local technical school for a year, My dad insisted I go because he thought I wasn’t ready for college. But I ended up getting into a four-year school and am doing really well.

With my mom, She doesn’t coddle me when it comes to life. The second I turned 18, She had me checking into my doctors appointments myself, booking them, and using my insurance card. She also got me a Visa card. I used to be a terrified child afraid to go to any doctors appointment without my parents with me 24/7, To a confident adult That is able to book my appointment, check myself in, Go back by myself, And schedule follow-up visits. I am also able to use my Visa card on my own. I don’t have a job yet, but I’ve had several interviews. When my dad takes me to appointments, He asks if I want him to come with me and if I know what I’m doing, And I assure him that I’m fine, And proceeded to go in myself. None of this would’ve been possible had my mom not pushed me into the world.

I can’t decide what’s better, coddling or being pressured, but right now, I’m doing fine. I know coddling can be good, But I don’t like people using autism as an excuse. Sorry if this just sounds like a big rant.