Pretty sure the quoted parent is still just not getting it. Gentle parenting is not about allowing your kid to throw things at you or buying them the toy they beg for. It’s about understanding that your child is a small human, a future adult, and a person in their own right, and that no matter how stupid you might think the thing that they’re upset about is, they are living that stress and deserve respect too.

As the psychologist said, the key is establishing clear boundaries and that wasn’t emphasized nearly enough in the article. I think the sad truth is so many of us simply don’t know how to establish healthy boundaries with our peers, and so we don’t know how to articulate them to kids either.

Lost me at no time-outs, no limits. Most children won’t learn to calm themselves and/or move on if you don’t force them to take a break from whatever it is that has triggered a breakdown in self-control. Don’t even get me started on what happens when you leave kids to their own devices versus sleep, pee breaks, and proper nutrition/hydration.

When the child throws a tantrum for the toy and you try the strategies and they don’t work, the solution is not to buy the toy. That shows the child that if they tantrum, they get their way. When your child throws a combination lock at you that’s not a “don’t do it again” moment. That’s a hard stop. Sometimes it’s best to just completely remove the situation. Leave the store. Leave the pool. Get emotions settled, then discuss. My three year old doesn’t get “time-outs” but if her behavior is unacceptable because she’s unable to manage her emotions she goes to her bed for a reset. She stays as long as she needs to and then she comes out to talk when she’s ready. Sometimes when kids are too hungry or tired or something else is off the strategies are not going to work. Because they literally can’t function on that level without their other needs being met. It doesn’t mean your approach is failing. Nothing a parent does is going to work 100% of the time.