I posted a good faith post about the angry posts coming out of WomensStuff, knowing I was breaking the community’s rules but it was a meta discussion about that rule itself. I guess I wasn’t going to be shocked to be banned there, but again, this was a good faith post that wasn’t trolling. Lots of men were chiming in about the subject itself.

I wake up to find I’ve been banned across multiple communities and servers, because the mods have updated to say, “My blood pressure too high rn.”

Is this was Lemmy actually is? Worse than Reddit because the rules are “fuzzy” and every mod can do whatever they want, because they’re having a bad day?

    • turtlesareneat@discuss.onlineOPEnglish
      711·
      4 days ago

      I told them their “MEN DON’T POST HERE” posts on the frontpage are hostile, which is the reaction they got from a half dozen folks who were talking about the subject. I talked about my experience as a gay man, wanting more community here on Lemmy, but that I wouldn’t start communities or threads saying “NO STRAIGHT PEOPLE POST HERE” to do it. And I pointed out their community has decided there are only two ways to deal with it.

      I get that I broke their rule, and I can be banned there for that - but they didn’t ban me for being a man, they banned me for hurting their feelings.

      And now I can’t use LGBTQ and Trans communities as a result. OK, fuck turtlesareneat, he shouldn’t be allowed in queer communities cause he hurt a mod’s feelings.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        81·
        4 days ago

        My dude. That kind of thinking is exactly why women need their own spaces.

        You may not realize it, or have ever examined yourself, but you just expressed misogyny in a mild form here, where you have had every chance to pick and choose how you say things to support your opinion that the reason given for the bans was unjustified.

        It’s okay for a given group to have their own spaces without intrusion. A gay men’s space should absolutely be able to exclude women and straight men. A straight men’s space should be able to exclude gay men and women.

        The only time having dedicated spaces is a problem is when every space is dominated by a single group. And that’s just not the case with a women only space. To the contrary, women struggle to have their voices heard in open spaces where everyone is allowed specifically because men dominate those spaces.

        If you, as a man, went and ignored a clearly visible community rule, you absolutely deserve a ban from that community. As well, the fact that you’d blatantly ignore a clearly visible rule in community is a damn good indicator that you think you’re above rules, which means that a mod preemptively banning you from other communities ceases to be an over reaction.

        So, I’m going to be harsh as hell in this. You stated that you knew the rule and ignored it. That means you’re either an arrogant asshole, or a petulant child. Neither of which is a good look when trying to claim a mod behaved badly.

        • MountingSuspicion@reddthat.comEnglish
          2·
          3 days ago

          I don’t know if you’re a guy, but honestly really amazing display of allyship right here. Regardless, congrats on explaining things so succinctly. This is exactly correct.

          • southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
            2·
            3 days ago

            I wish I could say that I didn’t have to learn it. Even with the women in my family being very empowered, and leading us boys to being more aware than most, I did have to unlearn some things, and pick up others.

            We all gotta help each other be better when we can.

      • Spider Jerusalem@lemmy.mlEnglish
        6·
        3 days ago

        If you don’t like or don’t want to see communities that don’t want you to participate, block them and move on. Whether or not they’re right isn’t really important if they’ve made it clear you’re unwelcome, doubly so if you’re going against their own rules. Appeal the others later, if that’s important to you.

      • stinerman@midwest.socialEnglish
        51·
        3 days ago

        I told them their “MEN DON’T POST HERE” posts on the frontpage are hostile, which is the reaction they got from a half dozen folks who were talking about the subject.

        So what if it’s hostile to you? It’s their community. I see that community from time to time. Guess what. I don’t post there. I accept that it’s their space and their rules.

        I talked about my experience as a gay man, wanting more community here on Lemmy, but that I wouldn’t start communities or threads saying “NO STRAIGHT PEOPLE POST HERE” to do it.

        You don’t have to, but other people can if they want. If someone else did, I, as a straight person, wouldn’t post there. Because they asked me not to.

        I get that I broke their rule, and I can be banned there for that - but they didn’t ban me for being a man, they banned me for hurting their feelings. And now I can’t use LGBTQ and Trans communities as a result. OK, fuck turtlesareneat, he shouldn’t be allowed in queer communities cause he hurt a mod’s feelings.

        No, you didn’t get banned because you hurt their feelings. You got banned because you can’t follow rules. Other instances banned you because you’ve been shown that you can’t follow other instances’ rules.

        This reads very heavily of “but I had to reply because they needed to hear my carefully-considered opinion.” NO. THEY. DON’T. They didn’t want to talk to you and you decided to barge in and tell them what you had to say because by god you needed to be heard.

      • CaptainBasculin@lemmy.bascul.inEnglish
        55·
        4 days ago

        specific communities can have their own rules so while a ban on that community is fair, using it to ban on unrelated communities is not. Definetly a PTB