(Yes, I’m aware of these bait-y titles.)
Anyway, I’m 23 years old. I live in my house with my wife. We have many teens in the neighborhood, which is good for my sister-in-law but one of them took a particular liking to me.
The girl and I just casually started talking when I would go for walks, for example. She then started acting really weird, like giggly or flushed. She told me she was bi but preferred women. I’m a lesbian.
Eventually, she confessed that she had feelings for me, though she knew I couldn’t return them. She has also told her friend (19F) that we are dating, when I told her this was not the case and I was married.
I am married and do not like this fourteen-year-old girl. How do I be respectful about not returning her feelings even if she knows I’m married?
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Why do you need to be polite? If you’re direct or even rude you’re doing her a favour because it might turn her away from approaching other adults who would actually take advantage of her
Why do you need to be respectful? If this is even a real story just tell her you’re not interested and you’re married. It’s not complicated
This story is already strange and OPs post history contradicts it. Seems fake.
Lawyer up. A few hundred dollars now is worth every penny if you need one later.
Just get them to help you and what to watch out for.
These fictional relationship stories are getting out if hand. 23 years old with a house.
It belongs to my parents to be fair, we all live there.
Does your wife know about your GF you started dating 2 months ago?
Maybe they share an account with the sister-in-law.
The only right answer here is that being in a place where you have to extricate yourself from the situation means you are already deep in dangerous territory. Yes follow everyone else’s advice too, but if at the end of it you haven’t changed your behaviors so you are no longer exposed to this sort of risk, you still have a problem.
Rearrange your life so you aren’t alone with/having conversations with teenage girls. If that’s not possible, make sure you are never alone with them.
I’m surprised an adult hasn’t already heard this girls claim and sent the cops to pay you a visit.
You in danger girl.
In this order:
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Tell other adults you trust about the situation. Your wife. Her parents if possible. More than one other person.
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Explain to her in very clear terms that you can’t have that kind of relationship. It’s not about what anybody feels, it’s about what is possible.
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At the FIRST sign of any type of revenge seeking behavior, that’s when you consider the authorities and rely on backup from the adults you spoke to.
She very well might listen to you, process the rejection for what it is, and move on. Or she might flip out and cause you a mess. If she handles it well, she’s learned something and you’ve treated a growing human with respect. If she doesn’t, your ass is covered.
i’d say that it would be the case of turning her down with her parents present as in some sort of intervention.
also, speak to her firmly, avoiding second interpretations, that the two of you cannot be involved in any way, and if she continues her behaviour she will face legal consequences. time to learn that if you f*ck around, you’ll find out.
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Tell your wife, her parents, and anyone else who will listen, then call the cops and complain of harassment and get a restraining order on her.
Idc where you live but there’s many places where lesbians in this situation will be treated as men and you don’t want it to ever get to that point.
"23 years old. own house . married. "
a work of fiction!
They have one other post from 2 months ago saying they just started dating their girlfriend.
So 2 months later they are married and have a house?
Ok…
Not doing wonders for the stereotypes 😆
What do you mean?
Genuinely, I’m confused and curious.
Oh lol it’s a stereotype that lesbian relationships move fast… and move in fast 😆 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/U-Haul_lesbian
Not gonna lie, I wept a little for my own life reading that.
First, I think there’s some risk if she’s telling people you two are dating. Definitely tell your wife, but you should also probably talk to her parents about it.
- If they start hearing stories about their daughter and you, they already have context for it
- You can work with them to decide how to proceed
This is an opportunity to teach her about boundaries, appropriate behavior, and unrequited love in a relatively controlled environment. She will listen to you in ways that she won’t listen to parents.
You could have a direct conversation with her about how it’s not ok to tell other people that you’re dating. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable that she knows you have a wife but still told you she has feeling for you. Tell her that you are happily married and not interested in dating a fourteen year old. Model clear communication.
And empathize with her that it’s hard to have feelings for someone that doesn’t like you back. Talk about how you’ve handled it in the past. Tell her that it’ll pass. Tell her what she should know as she grows up.
She’s a teenager, so her feelings for you will go away regardless, but I think you can make the rest of her life tangibly better by having a real conversation with her.
Honestly, why be polite? She needs to get the message loud and clear, and preferably it ought to have the effect of discouraging her from attempting to repeat it with anybody else
This is not a “how do I be polite” situation. This is a “how do I cover my ass legally” situation. Mistake it for the former at your peril.
I don’t know which country OP is from, but it’s completely legal in many countries. Source
Still potentially risky nowadays. Don’t take chances.
Not all the world is the US. Luckily.
But a lot of the world got caught up in their moral crusades, which they love to export.
Explain to her that it’s immoral, you’re not attracted to children, and that you will be going no contact with her.
Just don’t be
Tell her to stop. Then cease all contact. No need to be respectful. It’s not a situation that needs fine granularity.
You are the adult in this and it’s always going to be your responsibility to do the right thing. So act like a responsible adult.
