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EVERYWHERE—As the influence of the nation’s transgender individuals continues to encroach on the freedoms of the U.S. populace, sources confirmed Tuesday that increasingly powerful trans person Tori Randall is now capable of using every single bathroom in the country at once. “Tori has become so trans that she can enter every single bathroom in the continental United States simultaneously, and there’s absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop her,” said Cincinnati city officials in a statement echoed by officials in thousands of other towns and cities across the nation, where every single stall in both public and private bathrooms is being currently occupied under the formidable capacities of the single trans individual. “This is what happens when there’s not enough legislation to keep transgender people out of our bathrooms. Now she’s in every women’s bathroom and every men’s bathroom. She’s in our bathroom and your bathroom. She’s in bathrooms in every country club even though she’s not a member; she’s in every stall at JFK Airport even though she doesn’t have a flight. Her piss and shit are at this very moment traveling down the drains of every single bathroom at every single billionaire’s gated mansion, and there are billions of U.S. toilets all flushing at once. She doesn’t need the code at Starbucks. She can travel through bathroom walls. Soon, as the trans community becomes increasingly confident in its omnipotent abilities, we could see them all develop the capacity to bend the laws of space-time, at least as far as bathrooms are concerned. We should all be very, very afraid.” At press time, reports confirmed the trans person’s powers had only grown as she used every last drop of water in the Northern Hemisphere to wash her hands.
If they understood their religion, they’d be atheists
tbh though the more I understand it the more I’m actually falling in love with it from a cognitive behavioral (and even moreso from a dialectal behavioral) standpoint. I’ve reached a point where I can recite the DBT manual back to front (300h of therapy) and I’m pretty in-tune with the science-based aspects of behaviorism, but I’m hitting a wall where there’s only so much sterile data tracking I can keep doing in my personal life. Even with a lot of it automated through biometric monitoring (fitbit etc) I’m finding it difficult to truly engage with raw numbers on a day-to-day basis. The esoteric experience fits into dialectal behaviorism in a similar way that zen Buddhism does (and the syncretic aspect allows the zen buddhism to be simultaneously integrated) in that it accepts the organic way that the human brain most readily processes the continuous feedback loop between sensory input and behavioral output.
The human brain is much better designed (as much as you can call it designed anyway) on a very basic level to engage with singing and dancing and rhythm and story and shiny rocks. I’m finding a lot of joy (and mental / emotional peace) in looking at esoteric traditions and creating my own personal rituals that incorporate those concepts (like reframing negative thoughts but using concepts like you see with a rosary where it’s both tactile and repetitive). And I come from a social / cultural milieu where those stories and that imagery are very ingrained (the “modern” meyers briggs personality typing system can be traced back to Galen’s humoral theory, which is also where astrology and hogwarts houses come from; it’s literally the exact same concepts just with more emphasis on self-determinism), yet I don’t personally have any specific stigma OR trauma around them. I’m also largely agnostic anyway in that I think debates about whether or not god exists are pretty much moot in that if there is a god it’s by definition beyond our comprehension anyway, and the more important discussion is what we do to theorize, act on, and evaluate the best ways to be kind to our fellow humans.
The two things I also have to keep in mind though are that
a) a lot of christians these days (particularly evangelicals) would consider this highly heretical (especially when it comes to trinitarianism, which when you look into the history is pretty much just an excuse to commit political and imperialist murder, and a big root of the long-running christian tradition of the same). This is especially darkly hilarious when you consider pentacostalism where a deep esoteric spiritual fervor is actually explicitly encouraged, but with very little mindfulness as to what specific behaviors you’re actually trying to grow within yourself, which really just creates a malleable mob mentality for a capable enough cult leader.
b) on the other end, many people DO have specific traumas in relation to traditional christian imagery and concepts and aren’t able to separate them in a healthy way. Not that I was particularly prone to evangelizing to begin with, but the specific nature of the esoteric experience is to also understand that it IS esoteric, that is, highly personal. I enjoy talking about it (especially when it comes to the history, anthropology, and even sociological context), but I’m also not going to tell people that my views or practice are necessarily the best, especially since the very thing that makes them so effective is that I’ve specifically tailored them to myself. The downside to this is that I’m still forgoing that community ritualism that gives adherents to mainstream religions that social reinforcement and feeling of community (which I think is a big part of the observed health benefits of religious practice).
TLDR; I’m forming a 1-person cult, and having an absolute BALL.
For people wondering, the things I’ve been learning from are: