I'm potentially going to nope the f out of my course.
I took my first lesson ever today and it was a fail. My mentor gave me a respectful class and so behaviour was awesome. It was my actual teaching. Everything was fucked. I also observed the class that was 50% ND. They all should’ve had an aide but lack of funding. My mentor said she is stumped and is only teaching people who want to learn for the most part. I also don’t know why I wanted to teach my learning areas because I know fuck all about them. I also don’t want to do the assignments, even though they are relatively scaffolded. I am ready to become even more of a piece of scum in society as I don’t have anything valuable to offer. I don’t think study is for me, but neither is anything hands-on because I have a freaking disorder that impedes me. Yay, learned helplessness. My mum doesn’t want me to drop out because she exclaimed how I really wanted to do it and also it was my first lesson, but clearly I was off with the fairies. It seems silly to give up so easily, but at some point, I’ve got to recognise that something isn’t for me / doesn’t suit my personality.
I really like working with young people and building relationships, but standing up in front of 25 kids everyday, four times a day, I really overestimated myself. I don’t know what I’m going to now, but I will figure something out.
Lots to unpack here for yourself. Don’t make any decisions until you’ve had a chance to breathe and mull over for a few days. It almost sounds like you got overwhelmed on the day, went into panic mode, felt like a failure and that the only solution was to quit immediately. Maybe teaching is your path and worth pursuing, or maybe it isn’t. The student behaviour issues are very real and lots of teachers struggle. But lots also feel it’s rewarding despite the challenges.Take some time, talk to people around you, see what you feel like after the adrenaline has settled. No one is perfect at something first time they do it.
A friend of mine felt a bit the same, “why did I do this/what the hell have I done?” Until she got a job teaching English to adult students overseas. She just had to explore the options a bit more and find something that suited her. Maybe you’ve got to explore a bit more to find your “zone”?
Even people who have gotten their degree and have taught still can have horrible years.
Infact at work I’m seeing it live with a new teacher who has had a number of years under her belt already.
You are there to learn and experience these things and to learn from your mistakes, just because it didn’t work out the first time doesn’t meant it’s all doom and gloom.
I have never considered teaching, and nor have I ever wanted to. But, I will say, if you’re not feeling it anymore with your course, then don’t push yourself any more into doing it; you’ll resent it and your brain will use it against you. You already seem really burnt out by the course, and people can’t push through burn out without a break.
Drop out or defer (if you can), and take a mental health break, go for more walks (if you can), get in touch with your hobbies and interests, friends even or a club. Then, look through the list of gov funded/free TAFE courses and see if any pique your interest. If you like building relationships with and helping young people, you could look into youth services courses instead. But don’t get ahead of yourself, look after your present self.
Also,
Said by someone who tried to push through burn out in a call centre and ended up in the ER twice. Also a partner to someone who tried to do the same.
I am ready to become even more of a piece of scum in society as I don’t have anything valuable to offer.
Nope nah no way. This line of thought isn’t going to help you, I promise. You DO have something valuable to offer to society, because you are human; this particular job just doesn’t align with you in the way you thought and THAT’S OKAY!!! It is so okay, it is normal. You wouldn’t be a scum of society by getting on centrestink or anything, you just need a break to figure out what does align to your values!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this Spud. I feel like maybe I was being a bit dramatic, and perhaps I should do more teaching to really figure it out.
But I have to have a long hard think when I’ve calmed down a bit more.
Thank you again. I really appreciate it 🥰
Also I met an animal technician the other day, and thought of you. I know you’d be awesome at it, if that’s the path you choose to go down.
That would be good, to wait until you’re calm and clear headed! No making decisions in a heightened state of emotion 💜💜
Aw!!! That’s so cool! Animal techs have such a rewarding and difficult job, lots of euths and recording animals that aren’t well, but it’s so very rewarding to advocate for their welfare!!
I'm potentially going to nope the f out of my course.
I took my first lesson ever today and it was a fail. My mentor gave me a respectful class and so behaviour was awesome. It was my actual teaching. Everything was fucked. I also observed the class that was 50% ND. They all should’ve had an aide but lack of funding. My mentor said she is stumped and is only teaching people who want to learn for the most part. I also don’t know why I wanted to teach my learning areas because I know fuck all about them. I also don’t want to do the assignments, even though they are relatively scaffolded. I am ready to become even more of a piece of scum in society as I don’t have anything valuable to offer. I don’t think study is for me, but neither is anything hands-on because I have a freaking disorder that impedes me. Yay, learned helplessness. My mum doesn’t want me to drop out because she exclaimed how I really wanted to do it and also it was my first lesson, but clearly I was off with the fairies. It seems silly to give up so easily, but at some point, I’ve got to recognise that something isn’t for me / doesn’t suit my personality.
I really like working with young people and building relationships, but standing up in front of 25 kids everyday, four times a day, I really overestimated myself. I don’t know what I’m going to now, but I will figure something out.
Lots to unpack here for yourself. Don’t make any decisions until you’ve had a chance to breathe and mull over for a few days. It almost sounds like you got overwhelmed on the day, went into panic mode, felt like a failure and that the only solution was to quit immediately. Maybe teaching is your path and worth pursuing, or maybe it isn’t. The student behaviour issues are very real and lots of teachers struggle. But lots also feel it’s rewarding despite the challenges.Take some time, talk to people around you, see what you feel like after the adrenaline has settled. No one is perfect at something first time they do it.
A friend of mine felt a bit the same, “why did I do this/what the hell have I done?” Until she got a job teaching English to adult students overseas. She just had to explore the options a bit more and find something that suited her. Maybe you’ve got to explore a bit more to find your “zone”?
This is not true. Teaching is not easy but the skills (and patience) you’ve learnt will cross over to anything and everything you decide to do.
That’s true :)
Even people who have gotten their degree and have taught still can have horrible years.
Infact at work I’m seeing it live with a new teacher who has had a number of years under her belt already.
You are there to learn and experience these things and to learn from your mistakes, just because it didn’t work out the first time doesn’t meant it’s all doom and gloom.
Low, you are there to learn and get experience, of course you don’t know everything on the first day.
I suggest you listen to your mentor.
And don’t be so easily put off. You can do this.
I think I will continue until the end of the semester and see how I go :) I was pretty riled up before and I think that impacted things.
Awesome. 😊 I’m proud of you.
I have never considered teaching, and nor have I ever wanted to. But, I will say, if you’re not feeling it anymore with your course, then don’t push yourself any more into doing it; you’ll resent it and your brain will use it against you. You already seem really burnt out by the course, and people can’t push through burn out without a break.
Drop out or defer (if you can), and take a mental health break, go for more walks (if you can), get in touch with your hobbies and interests, friends even or a club. Then, look through the list of gov funded/free TAFE courses and see if any pique your interest. If you like building relationships with and helping young people, you could look into youth services courses instead. But don’t get ahead of yourself, look after your present self.
Also,
Said by someone who tried to push through burn out in a call centre and ended up in the ER twice. Also a partner to someone who tried to do the same.
Nope nah no way. This line of thought isn’t going to help you, I promise. You DO have something valuable to offer to society, because you are human; this particular job just doesn’t align with you in the way you thought and THAT’S OKAY!!! It is so okay, it is normal. You wouldn’t be a scum of society by getting on centrestink or anything, you just need a break to figure out what does align to your values!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this Spud. I feel like maybe I was being a bit dramatic, and perhaps I should do more teaching to really figure it out.
But I have to have a long hard think when I’ve calmed down a bit more.
Thank you again. I really appreciate it 🥰
Also I met an animal technician the other day, and thought of you. I know you’d be awesome at it, if that’s the path you choose to go down.
(Also asked a pig to sit and it sat hehe)
That would be good, to wait until you’re calm and clear headed! No making decisions in a heightened state of emotion 💜💜
Aw!!! That’s so cool! Animal techs have such a rewarding and difficult job, lots of euths and recording animals that aren’t well, but it’s so very rewarding to advocate for their welfare!!
I LOVE pigs!!! Omg! They’re so smart! 🥹
Look, don’t blame yourself. Teaching is hard and I see teachers online talking about how the current crop of kids are more difficult to handle.
There are definitely other options for working with young people that isn’t like that
I feel terrible for giving up so easily, but until there’s some sort of radical change in the system, I don’t think I want to do it
Trust yourself, if you really don’t want to do it don’t waste time or further money on sunk cost fallacy.
Maybe there’s still time to withdraw and get some of the tuition back?
The date was two days ago, and they’re not very lenient. But I shall see.
That last sentence is the key. You got this.
Thank you :)