Honestly it’s a long story but I got a bunch of red flags. It’s not that I don’t like him but I am just very suspicious.

For me the worst part is that he seems emotionally unavailable. Like he takes so long to respond all the time I honestly think he is seeing other people (if he doesn’t have a wife and kids already, lol).

Last time we saw each other he said we should grab a bite to eat sometime but he hasn’t messaged me at all since then, and I’m realizing this is kind of a pattern with him.

I feel like either he isn’t that interested in me, or … I mean that’s pretty much the only option tbh

So I should just cut him off, right? I mean if he ever does message me I bet it’ll be days from now…

Maybe I’m just too clingy but either way, I don’t think we’re compatible in that case. I’m not used to men being this distant tbh. Usually when I go on a date the guy wants to lock things in really fast and like… cares about maintaining my interest

  • modernangel@sh.itjust.works
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    13 days ago

    This is your opportunity to decide for yourself, just how often is a reasonable frequency of check-ins? Maybe he’s intentionally playing hard-to-get, maybe he’s underconfident and fearful of initiating, mistaking passivity for being “chill” / approachable.

    Initiating check-ins should feel somewhat evenly shared. If there are also other red flags this early in the getting-to-know-you stage, then yes just honor your intuition and leave the ball in his court. When I was dating, I checked in the day after a date, and then every 2-3 days thereafter. If you both have full schedules then maybe a week? You’re not a bad person if a week between check-ins is too little connection for you.